I realized last night that I have been very one-tracked in my updates lately and that I have been missing the opportunity to share a lot of great experiences and memories. This post is going to be all about catching up on some of those for you...

A Peace Corps Wedding

Two friends from my group, Dan and Theresa, fell in love during our pre-service training and decided to spend the rest of their lives together. Recently, in front of a few of their closest friends, in a country far away from home, the two tied the knot and became Mr. and Mrs. We had the opportunity to share their union by throwing them a wedding reception. Although our party was quaint and very "PCV", we went all out with the traditions - cutting the cake, the first dance, a champagne toast. This day and their marriage is special to everyone in the Bots 10 group because we have become family over the passed year. It is truly special when two people can find love and, for us, it's even more special because our "family" actually became family. So, for all of us in the group, this was a night that we will remember forever.

"Cultural Exchange": Wedding Style

There was recently another Peace Corps wedding that was truly special to me. Two dear friends from my old village of Kumakwane joined names on the 5th of May.

Mary, the other PCV from my beloved village, and Fila, my neighbor, became Mr. and Mrs. Konege, in front of family, friends, and fellow PCVs, showing the other side of finding the love of your life in the most unexpected of places.

Mary and Fila met when Mary first arrived at site in June 2010 and it didn't take long for them to fall in love. And I had the great honor and privilege of spending nearly eight months watching them, laughing with them, and sharing experiences with them. They are among the two best people that I have ever met. Mary, with her humor and wit, and Fila with his huge smile are a match made in heaven.

Their wedding day was every bit as special as they are. A number of other PCVs and I gathered in Kumakwane to share the day. The ceremony took place in Fila's church and was one of the more fun experiences I have ever had. The entirety of the service was dancing and singing - it felt like a giant party! Afterwards, we all went back to Fila's family's house and had a meal and listened to speeches and danced! Although the entire day was amazing and so much fun, I have to say that the biggest blessing of it all was that Mary's parents were able to make the journey to be here for it! This is so heartwarming because Mary's parents had not been on a vacation in thirty years and Mary's mom had never been on an airplane before! Having them there made a truly wonderful day all the more exceptional!

Goodbyes

The Bots 9 group is getting ready to leave the country next week. This is a truly bittersweet time for all of us. Watching them pack their things is emotional for those of us left behind, as they have become our friends and support system over the passed year (and forces us to examine our own service and what time we have left). It is even more bittersweet for them, as they have to say goodbye to their villages, their homes, and the people they have lived with, worked alongside, and grown to love.

Last weekend I had the opportunity to go to my friend Paco's very rural village called Medie to be part of his going away party. It was so touching to watch him interact with his village and to see how much they cherished him.

The event started out at the kgotla, with a huge agenda planned. It looked as if they entire village came out to share in the festivities! There were speeches made; entertainment and performances by the students at the school he worked at, the local support group, and the traditional dancers; gifts given; and tears shed. After the program, everyone went to the school for a meal and then continued well into the night (and, for some, the early hours of the morning) with a bonfire, music, dancing, and a braai. For me, being able to see how other PCVs live and witness how much they care about my friend, was amazing. I can only hope that my village(s) will care about me as much. It was beautiful to watch.

Goodbye Hello

My Bots 10 family recently lost another PCV. This is a happy goodbye, however, as our dear friend Maggie accepted an amazing job offer (and career opportunity) in her home town. Maggie has been an amazing volunteer, working with the disabled and disadvantaged population in Botswana and making a significant difference in her time here. While we are sad to see her go and realize what an asset Botswana will be missing, we are also excited for her and what this means for her future. Plus, we're family now so we'll always always always be close!

Sadly, Maggie had three cats that she had to leave behind in Botswana. They were her buddies and, I think, made leaving even more difficult. She has found them loving new homes with new PCVs from Bots 12 (to be sworn-in in two weeks!!!). These new homes, however, are not available until the Bots 12s go to their sites sooooooooo the three kitties are living at my house until then. Their names are Sisi (black mama cat), Pudi (colorful critter), and Mokibikibi (fluffy guy). They have been a handful, especially since I've never been much of a cat person, but we're getting along well and are starting to figure each other out. And, I have to admit, it's been kind of fun having animals in my life again, even for a while, because they really do give you all sorts of love.

My NGO

This, specifically, is not an update. It is more of an "I have the best NGO and the kids are super cute" portion. These are a few of my favorite kids from the "older group", meaning they are 5 and 6-years-old. From left to right, you will see: Boitumelo, Shamiso, Abigail, Refilwe, and Kamogelo. They are HYSTERICAL and I am really having fun playing with them and helping them along.

Also, yesterday, a friend of mine came to the NGO to see the kids and learn more about what life is like in the village (he is from Mauritius and living in Gaborone). He spent the day playing with the kids, learning about orphans and vulnerable children in the community (including what he can do to help), and getting the village experience. I was grateful to have him come because it made the day so special for the kids. They don't often get visitors and part of my mission here is to show the kids that they are loved and that people care to know about them. His coming and being so hands-on with the kids did exactly that. The staff and children welcomed him with open arms and it was a wonderful time for all of us. I hope to have more people come and have a similar experience.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrr It's Cold Out Here: Winter Clothes for All!

Another wonderful thing happened at my NGO yesterday... They got winter clothes!

My friend and fellow PCV, Carolynn, is working with a highly developed Scout troop in Gaborone. As part of their mission, they have been collecting winter clothing to donate to orphans and vulnerable children around their community. Carolynn called me a week ago and asked if we were in need and I said yes and explained the harsh reality for the children at our center. After our talk, I sat with the women from my NGO and explained that we might get a donation of winter clothes and the women literally started crying tears of joy. A week later, the children of Gabane Community Home-Based Care were among those that benefited from the Scout troop's generosity! We can now all sleep soundly at night knowing that these wonderful children will be warm and cozy and safe from the cold cold winter! What a blessing! These kids' lives were made infinitely better because of the kindness of otheres! Ke a leboga thata thata!

...... And there you have it folks! Just a few of my many updates on some of the wonderful things happening in my life!

By the way, still no water, still no house... And the house we thought we had identified is a bust. We're back to scouring the village for houses without curtains (the "sure sign" that it's vacant and for rent)! Wish me luck!

"...the Peace Corps puts us 'on the front line' as it were,

alone, armed with just our good intentions..."

"...it's about service to our country to bring about a better world for everyone."

As Peace Corps Volunteers, we do not get this day off. We continue to work tirelessly on our projects and for our communities no matter the day. We work "24/7" they tell us. And, in reality, it's true. Our mere presence is a representation of America and all the aspirations we have and the skills we wish to share around the world. Our mission is "world peace and friendship" - to help others. We are dedicated and steadfast to that mission for our service of 26 months (or more).

Similar to other deployments, our service comes at a price. I have mentioned how we miss weddings and births and times spent with loved ones. We agree to serve under conditions of hardship and we do this happily, knowing we are making a difference. Sadly, sometimes it also comes with the greatest price of all. This has been the fate for 279 volunteers who have lost their lives during their Peace Corps service...

This Memorial Day, while you pay your respect to all of the service men and women who have laid their lives on the line to protect our freedoms, let us also take some time to thank all of those who have chosen to serve (and die for) their country in the Peace Corps.

Please read:

Fallen Peace Corps Volunteers

The Few, The Proud, Military Veterans in the Peace Corps

Today was the first glimpse of the new digs and here are my impressions:

First, I have to state that it is still very close to the NGO and on an earthen road (not a path!) that leads to the main road of the village (aka it's in a really good location). It is back in the village more than my current house which has pros and cons. The biggest con is that my pretty view of the mountain and lands is gone. (No, this is not a huge deal but I did really like my view.) The main pro is that I'm more in the community and will get to know people better. (In this case, I think the pro outweighs the con.)

Second, the outside of the house is really pretty. It's painted pink and brown, has some cool pillars on the front step, and is nestled nicely in between two friendly-looking compounds. The plot for the house has not been manicured yet, meaning that there are a lot of weeds and rocks and building materials everywhere, and the owner has yet to put a fence up. This is not such a big deal to me right now but it seems to be cause for concern with the staff from the NGO.

Third, peeking in the windows of the house, it has a nice layout. (I felt like a crazy stalker sneaking around the house and looking in the windows but oh well.) The rooms seem like a good size and I can see how I would decorate and make it feel like home. It looks comfortable and that's important.

Finally, and this is the big one, it is so so so far from being finished that it made me extremely disheartened. I mentioned that there are building materials everywhere outside but that doesn't even begin to explain the status of the inside. There are buckets and stacks of tiles and wood boards and paint cans and all sorts of things strewn about. The ceilings are only partially put in, there's no paint on the walls, the tiling for the floors hasn't been started, and the bathroom and kitchen were unrecognizable since no attachments or fixtures have been installed. The handyman from my NGO looked around and said the water hasn't been hooked up yet and the wiring for the electricity is unfinished. For someone who said the house would be completed in two weeks, the landlord sure has a lot of things left to do... Too many things for that timeframe...

So we called the landlord up and questioned him about it. He said that he will not receive the check for the loan to finish the house until next week Tuesday. He will go out immediately and purchase the rest of the things for the house and get to work. He believes there should only be about a week delay at most to finish everything. He also said that he will be putting a geyser in and fitting the kitchen and he doesn't think this should set him back additional time (from the already pushed back date). If that's the case then the house should be completed and ready for me to move in by the second week of June. That's what he's saying anyway...

With the way things go here, I don't expect the house to be finished within that timeframe. I would, however, jump up and down and have a great big smile on my face for weeks if it were the case. So, at least for now, I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and keep my fingers crossed because, if it all works out, I think this is going to be a really great house for me. And, honestly, after five weeks without water what's another three, right? Right. Here's hoping!

Drumroll please.... I have a new house!!! Well, probably... It's not entirely official and it is contingent on a few things buuuuuuuuut, if all goes at planned, it seems an end to the drought is in sight!

Apparently the DAC sent someone from the Council to my village yesterday to look at a potential house for me and they approved it for me to move into! (Hence my excitement since their declaration of approval is pretty much it since they pay my rent.) Since they came unannounced and saw the house on their own, I haven't seen it yet but I understand that it is two bedrooms, has electricity, and (the clincher) running water! (They are even saying that a geyser may be installed soon meaning I may have hot running water! No heating water up on the stove for baths?! Yes please! Fingers crossed this actually happens...) It is not nearly as polished and nice as my current house (i.e. no fireplace, no built-in kitchen, no island, and no closets/wardrobes) but that really is not hard to do... But the landlord/neighbor (the house is kind of like a duplex) is supposed to be really cool and this house has something my fancy "posh-corps" house doesn't... WATER!

So how the deal goes is that this new house is still unfinished and under construction (it needs floor tiles put in, the security door attached, and some finishings) but all of the work should be completed within two weeks. If this happens (and the Council says it will) then the house is mine! This means that I could have a move-in date around my birthday! I'm going to be hoping and wishing that the landlord pulls through on getting everything finished in this timeframe and the agreement sticks! I mean, by that point it will "only" be seven weeks straight without water... But, if I can have water again, then it's worth the wait! (Nothing like going without to make you appreciate every little thing so much more!)

I'm going to get a first glimpse, drive-by style, tomorrow so stay tuned for my initial thoughts and continued updates on this pending move!

I have been sharing a lot of happy moments lately. This is no coincidence as my life is abundantly happy these days. But I wanted to take a moment to share one of my happiest moments ever since coming to Botswana. I am actually surprised I didn't blog about it before, especially since I share this tale so often because it has truly been one of those simple blessings that makes my heart flutter time and time again. This moment takes place during a particularly rainy day on the 24th of December 2011...

Over the holidays, I had the good fortune of hosting Hanukkah for a number of my friends here. People began coming in around the 22nd and continued to arrive throughout the week. As was the usual in Kumakwane, my Kums Kids came a-knockin' and were particularly excited to meet, greet, and play with other Peace Corps Volunteers. My little Bokena and Bofelo were a regular fixture whenever we were sitting around the house.

You may remember that Bofelo is deaf. We became friends and communicated mostly through miming. Yes, it was difficult, but we made due. Love is a universal language, after all, and we certainly shared that.

On that particular Saturday, however, everything changed. Why? Because sitting on my couch was my dear friend Clayton, who just so happened to have grown up in a deaf community and had also studied speech and hearing sciences in college. After explaining to Clayton (and the rest of my visitors) that Bofelo is deaf, Clayton decided to try and "talk" to Bofelo, realizing that sign language in Botswana was probably different than American Sign Language. After some time, Clayton called me outside to "show me something". I came around the corner and the two of them were giving me the "I love you" sign! It turns out that ASL and Setswana Sign are not that different and Clayton was able to talk with him with relative ease! He showed me Bofelo's name sign and they gave me one of my own. After a moment of shyness, Bofelo lit up. He was literally beaming with excitement and his face held a smile that was contagious. This was an exciting moment for me - one that no other could compare to. Here, in front of me, was a boy that I had befriended many months before and had been inviting into my home and cherishing but who I could not converse with. And I now was able, through Clayton, to talk to him and find out what made him click. Without my friend, this moment would not have been possible.

Since that day, I have been able to "talk" to Bofelo with much more ease. I know now that he can write in english so we write each other notes. He has also helped me learn things in sign language so that I can communicate, even a little bit, that way too. We have grown even closer. It has been truly magical.

A connection started by kindness made even stronger through the kindness of another. So I want to make a heart-felt THANK YOU to my friend Clayton, who gave me one of the most precious gifts.

I started following the work of the Acumen Fund nearly two years ago after reading its Founder and CEO's, Jacqueline Novogratz's, book The Blue Sweater. Her book inspired me. I have often thought about the story as I continue my work here and have used that memory as fuel to continue persevering, knowing that I am here for a greater purpose and that there is so much good to be done. Patience, dedication, passion, following your gut, trusting yourself, and the knowledge that we can all make a difference are the key morals I was left with.

In that same vein, I wanted to share this video, hoping that it would inspire each of you in the same way it has me. The video is of the commencement speech that Ms. Novogratz gave at Gettysburg College a few days ago. It has a message that we all need to hear and internalize. Please take a moment and watch - let her words resonate and encourage you. I truly believe that together we bridge the gap and create the kind of world we can be eternally proud to be a part of.

Below is the full-text version of the speech(since I know that viewing videos can be almost impossible for those of us in the developing world - myself included)

Thank you, President Riggs.

David, you’re a hard act to follow. In the past 24 hours as I was listening to your classmates speak, I was thinking that I finally have a sense of what it means to be “Gettysburg Great.” I am so honored to be with you and so honored to be receiving this degree with Karl Mattson who’s such a wonderful person. And I am absolutely inspired to be here with the Class of 2012 as you graduate. I thank you, distinguished faculty, who care so much about the students, the staff, the team here, the alumni, the trustees who give so much, the proud parents and grandparents who love so much, the inspired siblings and friends – I could not thank you more.

You, the Graduates, have earned this moment… so no matter how exhausted or bleary eyed you might be feeling after last night’s celebrations, take a few seconds to look around at each other.

Look to your left...

and to your right…

and take this moment and feel it.

Because so often life rushes by us and we forget the most critical moments in our lives. It is so important to live the minutes even when the world is moving at breakneck pace.

So breathe it all in and know with your whole heart and body: You did it. You really did it. Congratulations.

I remember being your age like it was yesterday, full of an amazing mix of certainty and a rolling list of questions. There was the first job –if you could even find one – for like you, I also graduated in a time when the country was just coming out of a recession.

I dreamt of changing the world, and had worked hard to finance my college education so decided to take a year off before starting a career.

As you can imagine my parents thought that was a miserable idea, and yet, my parents are quite wise. So they negotiated with me that I should at least go through the college interviewing process. So I bought a suit, took my resume, and dutifully deposited it in the boxes for foreign affairs and economics majors.

My first interview was with Chase Manhattan bank. I walked into the interview, sat across the table from this handsome recruiter, and he asked me what would turn out to be the easiest and the hardest question.

He said, “So tell me, Ms. Novogratz, Why do you want to be a banker?” I’m a terrible liar, so I said, “Actually I don’t want to be a banker – my parents made me do this interview. I really want to change the world.” He said, “Well that’s just too bad – if you got this job, you would be in 40 countries in the next 3 years, learning all about the economics, the politics, the people of those places.” And the truth was, all I ever wanted to do up to that point was to know the world – to travel it and understand its people. And I was feeling this great opportunity flying away.

So I stared at him and I said, “Do you think we might do this interview over?” He said sure. I left the room, knocked on the door, walked in, extended my hand and introduced myself. He said again, “Tell me, Ms. Novogratz, why do you want to be a banker?” I said, “Ever since I was six years old, all I ever wanted to be was a banker.”

Shockingly, I got the job.

As it turned out, I loved being a banker. I loved how numbers could tell a story, and how smart investment could transform ideas into jobs and sometimes things of beauty.

What I didn’t like was that poor people were not in the mix. The banks felt it was too expensive, too difficult and too risky to lend to the poor. And low income people themselves were often too frightened to even walk into the bank’s doors.

Three years after starting, I decided to leave the bank and try something different to fill that need. I had read about Muhammad Yunus who had started making tiny loans to women in Bangladesh a decade earlier – and that inspired me to decide to move to Africa, ultimately, Rwanda, to try my own hand at banking for the poor.

Not surprisingly, it seemed I was the only one I could find who approved of the idea. My boss told me I was making the worst career decision of my life and gave me a book called the Innocent Anthropologist. My friends thought I had lost my mind. My little brothers and sisters said they would miss me too much.

Telling my parents, however, was the hardest. Now looking back at what they were going through, I understand. Their daughter, who had a promising career, was leaving Wall Street to move to a continent very few people understood. To a place they couldn’t find on a map. To do something they couldn’t explain to their friends.

But I knew somehow in my deepest being that I had to do it. And that if I didn’t go then, I might never have the guts to do it again. I also knew how fiercely I loved them and was connected to my family and that I ultimately would not let them down.

And so, with a mix of love, sadness and excited anticipation, I boarded a plane for Africa, and ended up in Rwanda, where I met a group of Rwandan women and together we started the country’s first microfinance bank. And there, I learned first-hand that a small group of people really can change the world.

I tell you these stories because there will be moments in your life when you have to make those hard decisions that can come only from listening to the deepest part of yourself. And you will certainly have those moments if you decide to venture out and do something few have done before.

Now, I don’t say any of this lightly. I know it comes at a price.

You will find that people might not always understand you. You might even close off certain relationships. But in paying that price, you’ll discover who you really are and who you want to be. You’ll discover what you are capable of doing.

And of course, that journey of change and of self-discovery comes with the high risk of falling flat on your face. Repeatedly. I have fallen down and gotten up more times than I can say. But as that American philosopher John Wayne once said, “Life is getting up one more time than you’ve been knocked down.”

We have become a society craving instant gratification. We want simple answers and clear pathways to success. But as you all know from the many community projects you’ve undertaken, from the very world around you – life doesn’t work that way. And instead of looking for answers all the time, my wish for you is that you get comfortable learning to ask the questions.

As the poet Rilke said: “try to love the questions themselves”, he wrote, “as if they were locked rooms or books writing in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the question now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”

For me, one of the biggest questions we face today is how to build a world beyond poverty. To confront that challenge, both materially and spiritually, we need to renew and revitalize our systems of government and capitalism. Mostly, we need a new kind of leadership, one based in the notion of moral imagination, of building trust and solutions from the perspective of those being served.

Today’s world is more complex and interconnected than ever before. Think about it…

The wealthy live better than most kings and queens of history. At yet, 1.5 billion people – nearly 1 in 5 of us – have never had a glass of safe drinking water. They still light their tiny homes by kerosene, an energy source used mostly in the 19th century. And one in three of us have no access to a toilet.In the words of my young nephew, that isn’t good for any of us.

Ultimately, this divide between rich and poor is too stark and too unsustainable. It strips not just the poor but all of us of our collective dignity.

And people your age all around the world know it. They see it. And they are calling in the streets for dignity.

The tectonic plates of society are quickly, dramatically shifting. You can hear them creaking, pushing – moving to fever pitch with the Arab Spring, clanging with dissonance of the financial crisis, the hope of the Occupy Movement. Planet Earth is swirling, full of possibility, yet somehow tumbling with confusion, seemingly not knowing which way is up.

And everywhere, everywhere, people are asking, “Where are our Leaders?”

From my work with Acumen, I am privileged to meet extraordinary individuals all around the world. They dare to dream and put their dreams into action. Usually they fail again and again – until they win, even if their dreams don’t look exactly like they did when they started out.

I think of Shaffi Mather who decided to fix the broken ambulance system in India. In India, if you want to go to a hospital, you call a taxi. If you want to send someone to the morgue, that’s when you call an ambulance. Shaffi decided there had to be a better way. He started with just 9 ambulances donated by friends and family, and everyone thought it was just a fool’s errand. Well today with patient capital invested, and hard work, and lots of bumps along the way, his company now has almost 1000 ambulances, 5000 employees, 1 million served this year. By the end of this year, he will be the fourth or fifth largest, ethical ambulance company in the world.

Shaffi saw something broken and decided to fix it. And if he can do it, so can you.

I think of a group of young leaders, just out of university, I met a week ago in Peshawar, in Northwestern Pakistan on the Afghanistan border. It is a place known mostly for burkas, for suicide bombers and for desperation, a place where many live in fear.

Yet I met young people there who want to see a different future – and they’re intent on creating it, despite the risks of speaking out, despite the risks of collective action. They used Facebook and other social media to get more than 4,000 people on to the streets of Peshawar to pick up the litter, whitewash the graffiti-laden walls, and clean up and green their city. They are not waiting around for political leaders to show them the way.

Like Shaffi, they are just doing it.

And they are just like you. They are your counterparts. They dream a better world. And they want to do something about it – even if they don’t know where to start, even if they don’t have the answers. Maybe mostly, they want to be seen. They want to know that their lives matter, that they can make a difference before they die. Just like I imagine each of you do.

I was so struck that some of you sent in notes to President Riggs who sent them on to me to help me prepare for today’s graduation – and I thank you for that generosity and for the words which so embodied the spirit of “Gettysburg Great.”

Nearly all of you mentioned Community. And learning. And the idea that you want to meet the challenges of the world in big and small ways. Just by reading those words of yours, l came to like you.

A lot.

In liking who you already are, I want even more for you to come to know the world, to love the world, and to be in closer touch with counterparts who are like you in so many ways even if those similarities are not immediately evident.

I think of a group of young men I know who live in the vast and sprawling slums of Nairobi, Kenya.When my book came out, a guy named Kevin, HIV-positive with a 3rd grade formal education, read it. He wrote and then texted me a long review of the book, saying how much he related to me for he had failed just as I had failed and that he, too, wanted to bridge the gap between rich and poor.

I was so taken by this young man who lived on so little income in a shack in the slums that I told him I’d get him books if he wanted to start a reading club. He asked for 100, which I sent, and then he and a few other young men hosted a giant book club in the Kibera Slum to discuss poverty and the book. That lead the group to start a business plan competition. And then they decided to do the first TEDx in the slums. I know that you all recently held a memorable TEDx here, organized by Steve Meehan and others.

They didn’t have internet but it didn’t matter – they burned TED talks onto CD roms so they could include talks from around the world. They decided they were so tired of seeing only workshops about HIV and microfinance and tired of privileged Americans coming with their smiling faces intent on saving their communities, when in fact, no one was asking to be saved. So they pulled together the best journalists, graffiti artists, entrepreneurs, and teachers. It caught the attention of the TED organizers, and today, Kevin and his band of brothers have hosted more than 40 TEDx events across East African slums.

Just two days ago, Kevin sent me another long text, this time describing his experience on stage at Doha, Qatar, telling 750 organizers around the world what it takes to do a TEDx and spread ideas in slum communities.

All of us are needed to renew the world. Every single one of us.

Each of you, more than at any time in history, with the privilege of your Gettysburg degree has it in your hands to serve, to inspire, to work across boundaries to create the future you dare to dream. Your education at Gettysburg has taught you to be curious, to keep learning. The world needs you more than ever.

The good news is there are so many enormous opportunities for leadership. They are simply disguised as insoluble problems.

Think about the richness of a life focused on what it takes to bring clean energy to millions of people who otherwise would live in darkness. Or finding ways to use technology to crash through bureaucracy and get serious about educating all of our young people, whether they were born in an urban slum or a wealthy suburb.

Each of you is needed. Each of you has the chance to make a dent, if you have the curiosity, determination and focus to do so.

And if I have any wisdom to share, it is this.

1. Focus on being interested, not on being interesting. Don’t make decisions according to title or status or position. Pursue opportunities where you will learn about the world, and build the disciplines and practices you need to contribute. Follow incredible leaders. Focus more on listening and learning. The rest will come.

2. Don’t worry about what other people think of you. Most are too worried thinking about themselves. So take risks. Ask the dumb questions. Fail if you have to – and then get up and do it again.

3. Avoid cynicism. The poet Adrienne Rich wrote, “So much has been destroyed I have cast my lot with those who, age after age, perversely, with no extraordinary power, reconstitute the world.” The pessimists can tell us what is wrong with everything, but it is up to the optimists to dare to make the change.

4. Remember you are standing on strong shoulders. Daily, I’m astounded at how dependent we are on the work and ideas of so many who have come before. I’m not talking only about the greats of history. Before you’ve finished getting out of bed, turning on the light, brushing your teeth with water from a tap, putting on clothes making breakfast and walking out the door of your room, you are benefitting from hundreds if not thousands who have made those simple acts possible.

So walk with humility and a reverence for the human endeavor. Know it is your job to help take that forward in ways big and small.

And know you are incredibly blessed to have attended a school on the hallowed grounds made famous not only by a battle, but by a President whose quest for justice ensured that what happened there would not be forgotten.

“It is for us the living,” Abraham Lincoln wrote…”to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. “ Of course, he was talking about human equality. It is to your generation to extend that fundamental assumption to every human being on the planet.

And if we can, we must. You will hold the spirit of Gettysburg always in your heart. And you will be a part of the school’s own legacy as well.

5. Finally, remember that inspiring hope in others may be the most radical thing you can do in a cynical world. Hope may not feed us, but it is hope that sustains us. I’m not talking about an easy, treacly hope, but a hope full of power and love, of grit and resilience. It is inside every single one of you. The path won’t be easy, but nothing of importance ever is.

So, Class of 2012, I congratulate you, I celebrate you, and now I’m going to challenge you…

I urge you to lead your life in the minutes, to live the questions, to walk out of this place and into the world with both arms extended and open to the experiences, good and bad, that life will hold for you…

The world needs you and I know you will not let it down.

I wish you good luck and Godspeed,

Thank you.Jacqueline Novogratz is the Founder and CEO of Acumen Fund.

So begins my fifth straight week without water...

On the down side, this has left me with a pile of dirty laundry and a layer of dust and grime that I can't seem to get rid of. On the plus side, however, I still have brand new bottles of shampoo and condition that were purchased nearly two months ago in preparation for running out (i.e. more money in the pocketbook) and I have met many more of my community members while I wander around the village with buckets asking people for water (i.e. I have been much more social). Best to stay optimistic at a time like this!

As for what is next? House hunting is in full effect. People around the village are keeping an eye out for available housing but, as they say, "housing is mathata ma tona", or a really big problem. I saw one house over the weekend that had promise but, sadly, it will not be my new home. Although it had running water (huge plus these days!), the foundation was a mess - tiles literally coming up and apart due to uneven shifts in the ground, an interior wall starting to lean in on itself, etc. We have a call in to someone who is just finishing a new house not far from my NGO. The house is said to have two bedrooms, electricity, and pipes for water (that still need to be connected). We are all keeping our fingers crossed that this one might be the one (provided, of course, the house gets finished in due time).

Even the Batswana keep telling me how I'm "suffering" without water. But, if I am being honest, I don't really feel like it. Yes, things are significantly more difficult right now - I can't clean very well, I am almost out of clothes, cooking is a chore, sometimes I am a bit parched, and, yes, I am stinky and unclean much more often than I once was (or would ever care to be), but things could be much much worse. I am trying to keep things in perspective and what I have, even without water, is so much more than most. Regardless, I am pretty lucky and definitely living a life of abundance comparatively. So, until some new development in this water(less) scenario comes around, I'm just going to play with the village kids, chat with the mosadimogolos at the NGO, dance around my living room, and laugh out loud about how goofy and ridiculous this whole thing is... (And maybe even go say "dumela" to some of these new friends I've been making!)

"Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."

I have been on cloud nine lately. My successes have become plentiful and my joy abounding. Things have truly come together for me in a really positive way, both in terms of my life and my projects, and I couldn't be happier. The latter, in particular, is what I wish to share: project successes!

Scouts

The Scout troop that I am working with has reached a new high. First, our normally small group of 25 kids has grown to over 60 kids attending each meeting this term with many more pounding the pavement to sign up. The kids are not the only ones who are excited to participate - we have had six new teachers ask to participate in one capacity or another! This is a far cry from our initial months, where the other PCV and I felt like we were pulling teeth just to meet with a single teacher to get things off the ground. And, as if to reward our troop for its efforts, we won a prestigious award for the school. The award totaled BWP 12,000.00 (a ridiculously huge sum in Botswana!) and our troop has also been invited to compete against other troops from the area next week in two categories: marching and entertainment/drum-line! The kids and teachers have been meeting every single day after school to practice and are looking ready to strut their stuff! This is huge for our troop, which only started this past term! Go Segoditshane Scouts!

Gabane Community Home-Based Care

As I mentioned a few days ago, my NGO in Gabane was selected as one of only ten organizations as part of the Southern African Development Community's HIV/AIDS Fund, which aims to strengthen CBO/NGO organizational capacity for the HIV response in Botswana, Zambia, and Zimbabwe. I did not confirm to the blog-o-sphere but we did receive the official invitation from SADC and went to the welcome banquet and continued assessment interviews yesterday in Gaborone. These interviews went swimmingly! The women from my NGO also were invited (as part of this event) to attend an introductory workshop led by notable experts from Southern Africa on a variety of topics, including: leadership and governance, financial management, and aligning programs to Botswana's National Strategic Framework.

Today, when I came into the NGO, the women that had attended the workshop were already elbow deep in the notes and powerpoint slides they received yesterday. They were going through the papers and "studying". I sat with them to help clarify some of the details and translate some of the jargon. After some time, the women stopped and looked at me with a sense of urgency then proclaimed: "We are going to work very hard to learn everything and prove to these folks that we are the best out here - that we want to learn and we want to do more. That way, when the training portion is over and they are looking to help with funding, they will know they can trust us to get the job done and do our best." My heart skipped a beat - this is every Peace Corps Volunteer's dream come true. And, the best part about it, I know that they mean it and that they truly will do everything in their power to make the most of this opportunity.

BOCAIP Tumelong Counseling and Childcare Center

It has been a long time since I have mentioned my old NGO in Kumakwane. As you can probably recall, it closed many months ago. This was devastating, not only because it meant that I had to move from a village that I loved so much but also because it meant hundreds of children would be going without the care and services they desperately need. Not wanting to see this happen, I continued working on proposals up until the minute I left but, sadly, had not heard anything from those submissions. Well, yesterday I received a call from a friend from Kumakwane that I used to work with who informed me that Tumelong was being repainted and cleaned up. I immediately asked for more details. It turns out that one of the proposals that I had written before moving had finally come through! The NGO now has funding to run the daycare center and the afterschool program for an entire year! (Note: the funding will carry them through June 2013, my expected end-of-service date! Hooray!) The facility is getting polished up and ready to re-open next month! That means, once again (and finally), that all my Kums Kids are going to have a place to go for food, psychosocial support, and fun! We did it!

Basically, what all of this means is that all of my service's key projects, even those that I thought were long gone, are having a banner month and I am reveling in their success!

Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

What follows are a few of the realizations I have made from not having water for three full weeks (and counting):My order of preference for using (precious) stored water: drinking, cooking, dishes, flushing the toilet (moved up in the list in some instances, obviously), miscellaneous cleaning, bathing, laundry.It is extremely exciting and worthy of a happy dance when you turn on a tap (someplace else) and have water flow out instead of hearing the screech of dry air (as is the case at my house).I am I extremely grateful that I "practiced" not showering for multiple days on end in my past life (i.e. before coming to Peace Corps) because this experience has the potential to be exponentially more miserable otherwise. I am now able to have a complete bath, including washing my hair and shaving, using only the water from one 32oz Sigg water bottle. (And, miraculously, feel quite clean!)Baby wipes are essential.My neighbors are pretty generous people and have filled up my water bottles from their own water sources on more occasions that I can count.Nothing feels better than a hot bath after many many days without one.Underwear is the first thing you run out of when you can't do laundry for three weeks.You may be wondering what is next for me in the water department? Will I or won't I have water again? And, if so, when? Admittedly, I have been wondering this same thing for what feels like an eternity...

Up until today, the only answer I have heard is: "sit tight", "be patient", "keep taking water from your NGO and neighbors", and other similar one-liners. This morning, however, I had a candid conversation with my DAC about the reality of the situation with my landlord, the house, water utilities, and so on. Ultimately, there are some unforeseen problems that could hold up getting my water reconnected indefinitely. That being said, calls have been made and a full-scale search for a new house for me is underway... Move number three since coming to site may be underway in the next week or so. Sigh.

I'm keeping the faith though - things have worked out for the best so far and I am hopeful this next move will be every bit as good. (But I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed just in case...)

There are so many times when I look around at the women that work at my NGO and think to myself how very special and wonderful they are. Watching them interact with each other, the children, and the patients is such a blessing - they are the sort of kind and caring and gentle people that we all should aspire to be. They truly look out for everyone's best interests and want everyone to be happy and feel loved. I am so fortunate to be surrounded by them every day. Today, in particular, I felt a sense that I was a part of their "family".

This morning I received a phone call from one of the women stating that they had the water hookup to the shower at the NGO fixed so I could come and take a shower there and get clean (since I'm now on day twelve without water at my house). I gathered all my things and ran over to the Center to take advantage of the opportunity. I got there and they were all smiling, proud that they were able to help me, and we all did a little "excited jig" together because I was literally skipping with excitement on my way there (and they saw). After my shower, they smiled huge smiles and laughed with me because I was so happy. Then we sat in the kitchen area bantering about the day - passing inside jokes and quips back and forth - and helping each other prepare the lunch for the children today. After some time, I noticed the cooks giving me coy glances as they put something in a large cooking pot. I looked closer and saw they were making madombi! This is my absolute favorite Setswana food and I never ever have it so I literally jumped up and down and they all giggled seeing that I noticed. They said they were making it in my honor because I have had a hard couple of weeks and wanted me to have something comforting and also because they are thankful for the work I have been doing. How sweet is that? This whole day was designed by them especially for me. Wow. It warms my heart to know that I am part of what they are concerned about now and that I am part of their little family. And, outside my own amazing family (both given and chosen), I can't imagine a better group to be welcomed into.

When I first arrived at my new site, I was taxed with putting together an organizational profile and strategic plan. This profile would include everything from the community needs to our goals, response, and programs and then information on the NGO and its financial and programmatic future. The document totaled 22 pages. I sent the finished report to someone at a national organization that oversees projects for NGOs and CBOs like ours, mostly in an attempt to set up a meeting to discuss networking and to show that our organization is doing great work.

Yesterday, I received word that this same national organization wanted to come do a site visit at my NGO and that they would be bringing representatives from the Southern African Development Community (SADC) to evaluate our organization and assess our needs. This was to be done in the belief that, if they liked what they heard and saw, they would partner with us on projects and provide capacity building tools to help us grow.

This afternoon, three representatives from my NGO (the Coordinator, the Administrative Secretary, and the Board's Vice Chairperson) and I had the opportunity to sit down with four representatives from SADC and the Program Manager from the national organization to discuss my NGO. Four nearly two hours we discussed our organizational capacity in terms of governance, finances, and programs. They stated their interest is in helping build strong foundations for organizations making a positive and long-standing contribution by providing expensive programs (like Quickbooks) that NGOs like ours would not be able to afford and then intricate training on these systems to help them thrive. They also stated that they have internal access to future grant funding that they would help secure on the organization's behalf. Unfortunately, they exclaimed, they had to pick only ten organizations in all of Botswana to offer such assistance. Afterward our long discussion, I made a plea on behalf of my NGO to receive this assistance, stating that the staff is among the most dedicated and hard-working people I know and that I will be here for a year to help support them in their endeavors and to help ensure sustainability of their efforts - plainly: their choosing our NGO would not come to naught (I would make sure of it).

On their way out the door, one of the SADC representatives from Zimbabwe pulled me aside and said that my presentation of the organization and my appeal to the committee has surely secured us a spot as one of the ten NGOs to receive assistance. He let me know that our acceptance packet will be sent to my email address tomorrow and that we will be honored at a "welcome banquet" next week Thursday. This is a big day in Gabane, folks! Hooray! :)

Last Monday I received a notice pushed under my front door from the Botswana Water Utilities Corporation stating that my water supply would be disconnected due to non-payment. I went over to my kitchen faucet to see if my water had already been turned off and, sure enough, after about four seconds it fizzled out. I went to another faucet and the same thing happened. I ran outside to check my tap and no water. Sigh. I tried calling my landlord (who is responsible for paying these bills with the rent check given to him from the government) but he did not answer. I then called my DAC (who is the government official that pays my rent etc) and also Peace Corps - both stated they would investigate the matter and get back to me. No news back from either on Monday or on Tuesday. On Wednesday, someone from my NGO managed to reach my landlord, who said the sizable bill was from the previous tenant and that he did not have the money to pay the bill in full for a couple months. (Translation: No water for Tija for a couple months.) Big sigh. I spoke to Peace Corps about this later that day and they said they would negotiate with the landlord and the Water Utilities Corporation and get back to me. It has now been a week and a half without water (although it has been dripping slowly out from the "hot tap" for a few minutes at a time - perhaps it is stored in my geyser for "safe-keeping" - so I am able to splash water on things to wash them and do basics like brush my teeth and use the toilet every couple of hours). I am still waiting to hear if my water will be turned back on or if I will have to move houses in Gabane (which PC said may happen if a solution is not reached with expediency) or what my future holds. For now, it seems my future includes carrying my buckets around to the neighbors to beg for water and traveling to Gaborone to steal baths from my generous friends. I will update everyone on the situation when I hear more - fingers crossed that it is soon!

P.s. As I type this, my electricity just went out... Now I am at no water and no electricity. Good thing I have a good sense of humor! Oh this life... TIA!

The other night I went to an open mic night at a bar in Gaborone. There were people reciting their poetry, rappers and vocalists, musicians, and comedians. It was surely a display of some of the best (and worst) of what Botswana had to offer in terms of talent. One person, in particular, caught my attention (and I found myself wanting to befriend him almost immediately).

When he approached the mic, he started belting out, in the most amazing voice, the opening notes to "The Circle of Life" ("MAAAAA ZIFENGYA MADIVIMBENGAYOOOOOO!") He then stopped suddenly and said "Why do all tales of Africa start this way?" and the audience cheered. He then went on to discuss, in poetic form, what was one of his main frustrations - that people misunderstand Africa. His examples started with the tribal music that everyone equates with Africa (which is some of the coolest music ever so I understand) and extended to an example from earlier that day when a girl studying at the University of Botswana in the capital city asked him where the elephants were. His comedic response: "Oh, sorry, they marched this morning through the streets so you missed them, best to check back again tomorrow. Or you could visit Kasane." (Note: this is where the elephants live en mass, but they are definitely nowhere near the busy capital. Everyone laughed, myself included, because asking about elephants down here is quite ridiculous and funny. But, we realize still, that this is because we live here so we understand the reality while others don't.) The moral of his anecdote being that people abroad have a vision of what Africa is - full of mud huts and wild animals - and fail to realize that it is also civilized and developing rapidly.

Listening to his monologue made me think: What did I think Africa was like before I came? How has this notion changed? Could beliefs like this be holding Africa back from moving forward in the global community? What connotations evolve from this way of thinking? How do we educate people about this other side of Africa without losing all the support received for necessary development? Would tourism flourish if people realized there was a developed side too? What would happen to those children and families I am working with in the villages if people started thinking Africa was "all good"? Would they benefit from a new understanding of Africa or would it be a detriment? And many many more questions... Because, yes, the stereotypes are here for a reason - they do exist - but there is also another side of life here. The village life that most PCVs live and talk about is a completely different lifestyle than that of the capital (and the two other larger towns), which is full of youth working laboriously to bring the world up to speed about the different faces of Botswana (and Africa). I want to help dispel the rumors and share that Africa has it all - the good, the bad, and the growing. Like the man who performed at open mic night, I wish everyone could come here and have their perspectives challenged. To see both the mud huts and the towers of Botswana and to experience the quiet life of the village and the growing abundance of the capital. The juxtaposition is unlike anything else I have experienced.

A few weeks ago, my Country Director called to tell me that a Congressional delegation of US Senators would be coming to Botswana and he wanted to find out if I would be willing to meet with Embassy staff to discuss hosting them and their wives for a day. Of course I said that I would. But, after that phone call, I heard nothing. I figured they had designed a program for the Senators and their wives that didn't include me, a lowly Peace Corps Volunteer living in a village. I shrugged and went on my way.

Two days ago, after spending my morning at the NGO, I received another phone call. This time the call was from one of the women I work with. She said, in a somewhat confused-sounding voice, that staff from the United States Embassy were at the NGO and asking to meet the Peace Corps Volunteer that works there. I quickly tried to collect myself and scurried out the door and down the path towards the NGO. And, just as she said, there were two Embassy staffers in the office waiting to talk with me!

The Embassy staff and I had about an hour discussion regarding the needs in Botswana, specifically the Gabane Community, and how the efforts of my NGO cater to those needs. We talked about the hardships in our community and how we would like to do more but the resources aren't available so we do as much as possible to help. I was asked what the NGO would need to fulfill our vision for services. You could see the staff becoming emotional as I explained the realities in the village - they are so different and devastating than the bubble over the capital city shows. Then I was asked what my personal goals are in terms of helping this NGO and Botswana as a whole. And then, finally, we discussed the delegation that is coming. In the end, the Embassy staff extended a hand and an invitation to help with a day of the program being laid out for the Senators and their wives. (Opportunity accepted!)

Now I am working on designing a day where I introduce them to the Gabane Community and the work being done here (and in villages like ours). I intend to bring them to my NGO so they can do an activity with the orphans and see for themselves what that reality is like and also participate in something hands-on. We will also visit a few of the home care patients so they can see the efforts being made to care for people infected with HIV/AIDS in Botswana. And, lastly, we will go to a cultural village to give them a taste of the rich traditions and history of the Batswana. They will have the opportunity to see traditional dance, try some local food, and purchase hand-woven baskets or pottery. A little bit of seriousness, a little bit of fun. I think it will be a really great day for the Senators, their wives, and for the people of Gabane. I am so excited!

Admission time: I lost my keys at the Bots 10 one-year celebration party. I am not sure if someone grabbed them or if they fell out of my bag or what happened but the fact remains that I lost them. This was a frantic and sad day for me. I can't remember ever losing something like this before. Sigh. I shed a few tears, I called everyone and every place I could think of to ask about them, and then I moved on. The locks were changed on my house (and actually extra security added by the man that changed them for me) and I got new keys. No harm done, right? Well, sorta. On that very keyring that was lost was my post office box key. The one and only post office box key for the post office box that I am sharing with my NGO. Ugh. But this is not a blog post about the tragedies of getting new keys cut, but rather one about the greatness of the people of Botswana.

from my mama and sisterI had explained to the people at the post office about my lost keys. After some hemming and hawing because it was against protocol (which is very important here), they gave me three packages that were waiting there for me (from my mama and my sister! happy dance!). I half skipped all the way home with a huge smile on my face. The post office people bent the rules just a little bit and now I had fun new things to show for it! Hip-hip-hooray! I went about the next few days with a little extra umph because of it. And then, this morning, I heard a "honk honk" and I ran outside to see what was up. There, at my gate, was the post office vehicle! A guy stepped out of the driver's seat, walked around to the back, and pulled out a very large box. He came strolling over to me as I came dashing down the stairs towards him. He then explained that the post office staff saw the package come in and realized I wouldn't know it was there because I had lost my keys and wouldn't see the slip and also that it was really heavy so they figured they would just drop it off to me! (Are you kidding me?! SO NICE!) I thanked the man a thousand times over because he was right - it might have sat in the post office for weeks before I had a key re-cut (it's super expensive) and holy smokes was it huge so walking it home would have been quite the chore! And, yes, this was breaking protocol again because they hadn't taken my passport information to release it or anything like that. But, really, how many Tija "Kamogelo" Danzigs are there in Gabane? Probably not too many! To me, what is most special about this is the sincerity and thought of it. The post office worker recognized my hardship, he saw a way to help me out, and he did it. How often do people go out of their way to help a stranger out like that? In my experience, not too often. In Botswana, however, I have seen it happen more than a few times. It was one of those moments of kindness that I will carry with me and pay forward. So THANK YOU Mr. Post Office Worker for being so caring, thoughtful, and considerate. This Peace Corps Volunteer is eternally grateful! (P.s. I shared some turkey jerky with him to say "thanks"!)

the contents of the big box from my friend jeff

You may remember my host brother Kesaobaka from posts I made during Pre-Service Training. Although I haven't mentioned him (or the rest of my homestay family) in recent months, I have stayed in contact with them and we share in each other's successes like any other family. After all, that household became my home away from home and the family nurtured me through some of the hardest times in Botswana - they truly became like family during my two months living with them. In particular, Kesaobaka and I created a lasting friendship. That is why I want to share in a huge success for him.

I am not sure if I shared this on my blog before or not, but while I was living with my host family, Kesaobaka was interviewing for a position with the police force in Kanye. He had passed all his interviews, taken some tests, and was waiting to hear back about a start date. He was really excited about being a police officer, especially because it meant he would have a good job and be a contributing member of the family. (In the interim, he contributed by cooking and cleaning and tending the lands and doing as much as he could to help the family. He is just an amazing man.) When I checked in about the job around the new year, he was still patiently waiting. So when we talked a few days ago, I was hardly surprised to learn that, after a year of relative silence, Kesaobaka was tired of waiting to hear from the police force about his placement. He had started the interview process with the Botswana Defense Force (BDF) and was asked to come to Gaborone, the capital city, for another interview, a test, and a physical.

Because Kesaobaka was in nearby Gaborone most of the week, we decided to meet for lunch so we could catch up in person and he could tell me all about the potential new job. We were supposed to meet yesterday but he was tied up with the BDF and couldn't make it. He promised to call me afterwards to update me. Around 8pm, my phone rang and it was him. He was so excited that I could barely understand him. After a few deep breaths, he announced that he had passed all of his interviews and tests and that he had earned a place in the Botswana Defense Force! They told him to get back to Kanye and pack up some things because he would be going to a six month training starting this Friday! (When they want you it seems they really don't waste any time!) In fact, he excelled so much that they pushed him up into this training class instead of waiting. I joined in his excitement, squealing and jumping around (which I know he was doing on the other end). This is a huge honor, one that far outweighs the one with the police force, and carries a lot of prestige. Kesaobaka did it! After a year of waiting, he has gotten something far greater than he ever imagined. (Sounds familiar to my situation, right? Like brother, like sister!) Needless to say, I am so very proud of him.

This is a proud day in the Ramathlaba family and I wanted each of you to be a part of it.

To say that I have been in a good place lately is an understatement. I have truly been blissfully happy these passed few months. So happy, in fact, that "Walking on Sunshine" would most likely be my background music as I skip around the paths of Botswana. And why shouldn't I be? I am doing meaningful work with staff that are excited about learning and growing, I am noticing genuine progress in my projects, I see baby donkeys and goats every single day, I have amazing friends and a wonderful boyfriend, my family and one of my dearest friends are coming to visit, and the weather is finally just about perfect. As if I needed to get any happier, today I packed my bag full of toys and crafts and headed down the A-10 to my old stomping ground of Kumakwane to visit my Kums Kids. And, let me tell you, that did the trick! Happiness overload!

When I arrived in Kumakwane, a huge smile came across my face. As I strolled (read: strutted) down the path towards my old house, "strangers" were stopping me to ask where I have been lately (they noticed I was gone! who would have thought?!) and I greeted friends from the village that I have been missing. When I got to my old compound, the dogs came barreling over to me, jumping up and down and giving me kisses. Together with the dogs, I made my way around the village to look for the Kums Kids. It didn't take long before I was trampled and overwhelmed with hugs. I felt like I was coming home after a long time away, being greeted by loved ones. Most notably: my little Bokena. When Bokena saw me, she literally leapt over her fence and came running at me. We were soon joined by some of the other kids, her brother Bofelo included. For about four hours, we played frisbee, jumped rope, and did craft projects. The kids covered their faces (and my cell phone) with heart stickers that I brought and showed me the progress they have been making in school (either by spelling words in the dirt or telling me all the words they now know in english, etc.). It was a perfect day with them. Actually, even hours later, my cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

To me, today was the coming together of my two lives in Botswana. The things that have made me completely happy here exist in both Gabane and Kumakwane. These are the things that have made this first year (and the rest of my service) so wonderful. Today they became one and the same - coexisting in the happiness I am experiencing these days. Life in Gabane is everything I could have hoped for and definitely where I am meant to be and Kumakwane (and those kids and dogs) will always have my heart.

A few days ago, I learned something that is very disturbing to anyone that believes 117F/47C is way too hot to be existing in. I am one of those people.

The news is that thermometers melt in the sun in Botswana. (I told you the sun was scorching here!) So what this means is that they gauge the temperatures here using thermometers placed in the shade... The shade where we all go during the summer to hide from the blazing sun because it is about 15 degrees F cooler there... Meaning when I have checked the weather and seen temperatures rise to 117, it's really much much MUCH hotter! Holy smokes folks! I knew it was hot these last six months but, it turns out, I had no idea how hot! (Good thing it's turning to winter now and we can finally cool off!)

It has been one year since I moved to Africa and started on this Peace Corps journey. Over the last few weeks, I have tried to talk about the lessons I have learned and the projects I am engaging in. Now I just want to share more about what actually happens in one year... How do you measure a year in your life? This is how I measure mine:

Minutes experienced: 525,948

Number of Countries lived in: 2 (United States and Botswana)

Number of new friends made at Staging ("Bots 10"): 40Number of Bots 10s that got on the plane to Botswana: 39Number of planes taken to reach Botswana: 3Other modes of transportation to reach Botswana: 1 (bus)Distance traveled between America and Botswana: 8,498 miles/13,628 kmTime traveled from America (JFK) to Botswana: 16 hours

Number of vaccinations received: 11Number of times I have been sick: 1 (tummy ailment, lasted 4 days)

Name of family I did training with: Ramathlaba

Number of villages lived in: 3 (Kanye, Kumakwane, and Gabane) Number of organizations I have done work for: 6

Number of times I have thought about ETing ("Early Termination"): 2Number of other Bots 10s that have ET'ed: 8Number of times I have been grateful I did not ET: 525,800

Setswana language proficiency level: Intermediate-MidTimes I have been surprised I reached Intermediate-Mid: Every single dayTimes I have wondered what happened to my English abilities: 1,482

Number of bucket baths in less than 3L of water: 72Number of baby wipe "baths": 41Longest time gone without bathing: 5 daysLongest time without water/water outage: 8 daysLongest power outage: 6 days

Number of game drives gone on: 5Number of vacations: 2 (Namibia and South Africa)Number of mini-holidays: 2 (Sowa Salt Pans and Khama Rhino Sanctuary in Serowe)Number of PCVs visited in their villages: 13

Number of entire television series watched: 6Number of books read: 48

Number of relationships I have been in: 1Number of weddings missed in America: 26Number of weddings attended in Botswana: 3Number of friends who have died in America: 4Number of funerals attended in Botswana: 3Number of births missed in America: 6

Number of times I ate phane worms: 3 (fried, dried, and boiled)Number of new foods tried: countless (Setswana food, wowza)Number of Setswana foods I mastered cooking: 4Number of foods from America I mastered making from scratch: 11 (things like spinach-artichoke dip, pita bread, pizza, and so on...)

Number of American visitors: 1 (Markus Thomi)

Number of care packages received: 17Number of letters and/or cards received: 28Number of Skype dates: 11

Times my blog has been viewed: 18,752Number of countries that have viewed my blog: 66 (in order: United States, Japan, United Kingdom, Australia, Sweden, Costa Rica, Germany, Denmark, India, South Korea, Canada, Argentina, Mexico, Russia, Malaysia, Iceland, Liberia, United Arab Emirates, Egypt, Luxembourg, Netherlands, Greece, Switzerland, Austria, Slovenia, Botswana, Singapore, Bulgaria, Spain, Pakistan, Senegal, Ecuador, Morocco, Guatemala, Norway, China, Israel, Indonesia, Italy, Lesotho, Uganda, Philippines, Iran, Latvia, Estonia, Mali, Saudia Arabia, Tanzania, Taiwan, Chile, Hungary, New Zealand, Serbia, Colombia, Thailand, Puerto Rico, Brazil, Zambia, Jamaica, Czech Republic, Finland, France, Lithuania, Gabon, Namibia, Belgium, and Albania)

Number of Bots 10 remaining at the end of year one: 32

Most important trait I have acquired: PatienceLeast important trait needed in Botswana: Logic (it just doesn't exist so no need for it)Trait I value most: Passion (And motivation to see their passions through)Thing that constantly surprises me: Everything really does come together in the endBest advice received: "Just keep swimming" (thanks Dory)

Thing I have been most grateful for: Constant support and love by my family and friendsNew family members made: Bots 10 and my dear friends in Botswana, both host country nationals and ex-pats alike... you are all how I truly measure my life here. And, for that, I could never thank you enough. What a great year it has been.

"it's time now, to sing outthough the story never endslet's celebrateremember a year in the life of friends"

♥ peace corps year one: success ♥

As we approach the one year mark (2 days away!), I thought I would share a short update on a few of the main things that I am working on:

Computer Basics Classes: I continue to teach computer classes to people from my community. So far, classes consist mostly of staff from my NGO and the Clinic. Classes are held once per week and I am offering review sessions two afternoons per week. In an attempt to help make the classes more applicable to their jobs (and so they can better understand the importance of learning how to use the computer), I use these review sessions (and independently scheduled time as requested) as a time to give the computer lessons a practical application. What this means is that I invite the class participants to bring their handwritten reports and/or paperwork in and we convert them into digital files together. Often this means I show them how and then they repeat the effort or, in some instances, I create a framework and they fill in the details. We are lucky enough to have enough computers so that each participant has "their own" computer in the computer lab that they can save their files to so they can continue to modify/work on them as they get more comfortable and gain more skills. For one student who has been exceptionally dedicated to learning, this means she is starting to be taught the very basics in Excel. Among the biggest accomplishments of this class, in my opinion, is that every single person who signed up for the class continues to come each week. They are getting comfortable with typing and with doing basic things in Word. They are motivated and so happy to learn. Success!

Segoditshane Scouts Troop: The Scout troop that I lead, along with another Peace Corps Volunteer and two teachers from Segoditshane Primary School, is going very well. We have approximately fifty scouts aged 9 to 14 that meet once per week to learn a variety of skills, including: practical outdoor activities (camping, hiking, backpacking, sports), environmental conservation, morals/ethics, community service, etc.

Renetswee Happy Home Care Center: I have been rewriting a Constitution for an NGO in a nearby village and helping the Coordinator come up with strategies for programming and recolonization of the new facility once all of the pertinent documents are filed and approved.

Gabane Community Home-Based Care: This is my primary project, so the majority of the work I am doing right now is here. Briefly, I am working in a variety of functions.Pre-School Program Curriculum Development: I have been observing classroom activities and teaching styles to help the teachers develop new ways of imparting knowledge onto the children and revise current curricula and/or activities to do with the children (ages 3 to 6). This includes examining end-of-term and year-end exams for the primary schools (where the children will graduate to) and designing projects that help achieve the necessary results for the children's success in accordance with those requirements. The hope is that by providing better curriculums the children will flourish and have a better chance of being successful. Research shows that a child's success in school directly correlates with the dropout rate and therefore their HIV status later in life. If we can get these children, the most vulnerable in our community, to enjoy school and become dedicated to their success while they are young, then we have a better chance of keeping them that way into junior school and beyond.Organizational Development: For the first few months at this new site, I have been conducting an analysis of staffing and organizational needs. In doing this, I have put together documents such as job descriptions, forecasting of staffing needs, designing current and forecasted organizational charts, an organizational profile, program leaflets, and a marketing kit.Financial Systems/Planning and Budgeting: I have been discussing and training staff on the importance of budgets, record keeping/monitoring expenses and income (payments), and balancing the books. This has included creating a very simple payment database for immediate use by staff while creating and implementing a thorough financial system. I have trained the Administrative Officer on how to use this program and she is getting comfortable using it. In the meantime, I have worked to design and digitize financial systems by creating frameworks and a database to track profit and loss and by putting together program and organizational budgets. (No expenses have ever been tracked at the NGO before so this means researching numbers, gathering receipts, and finding out real costs.) Sadly, I also have to report a death of someone I have blogged about. Remember a few weeks ago when I told of my home visits? I discussed a mother who was devastatingly sick with AIDS and in the final stages of her life. I also told that her daughter had recently tested positive for HIV. Well, the daughter has passed away. Immediately after her test, my NGO helped get her admitted to the hospital in Gaborone for treatment. Within a week, she developed TB. On Tuesday the hospital released her to go home because there was nothing else to be done. My NGO planned to visit her yesterday but she died during the night, only hours after returning home. In discussing the loss with the Clinic and NGO staff, it seems the young girl waited too long to test and the virus was too far along. This is a very sad loss of someone far too young. I will continue going on home visits and encouraging people in my community to test early and often.

These are the projects that are currently filling my days and that will carry me into this second year in Botswana.

For months, temperatures have risen to a balmy 117 degrees Fahrenheit around Botswana. Sweat has become the norm and constantly craving salty foods as you fill up your water bottle for the hundredth time is completely expected. To say that it has been hot would be an understatement. We are longing for the cool days (but not the frigid nights) that will come in the upcoming months.

Fortunately, the days feel less formidable and the evenings are starting to cool off to the point where snuggling up to frozen water bottles is no longer necessary and, in fact, lights blankets and long pants are almost required. This has been a welcomed change after months and months of mugginess. Realizing we might actually be getting some relief from the heat after a few weeks of slow and steady temperature decline, I became overjoyed and decided to check the forecast for the upcoming weeks with the hope that it would continue. What did I discover? These "cool nights" that have me shivering unless I'm under my fleece throw blanket and sheets is still in the 60s. And the days that seem comfortable now are in the mid-80s. My body is adjusting to the temperatures of Botswana.

Almost exactly a year ago, when I first stepped off the plane in Botswana, I felt the hot sun scorching my skin and thought the Batswana were crazy to be wearing their jackets and exclaiming "go serame" ("too cold"). I understand now. It is getting cold. Who would have ever thought that I would say 80 degrees is too cold? I am now fearful of the winter, both here and at home. Bless.

In Peace Corps, there is a lot of flexibility with the work you do. After a rigorous and stringent Pre-Service Training, where they equip you with many of the skills you will need in the field, Peace Corps Volunteers are essentially let loose in their villages to come up with their own projects. Some of these projects have to do with their primary assignments and the rest are ones that the volunteers create on their own, "secondary projects". Basically, you can do as much or as little as you set your mind to. You have the choice each day to wake up and do nothing or to go out into your community and engage in as many projects as you can. As such, we talk a lot about our "work plan", which is written, revised, and submitted each year of service and evaluated each quarter. This work plan is a way for us to stay focused and dedicated to our projects, to assess our own impact in the community, for our host country counterparts to understand what we are doing, and for Peace Corps to examine the work being done by volunteers across the country.

This process has been interesting for me. My first year of services has meant two different sites with a variety of new and different primary and secondary projects. It has forced me to continually reexamine the work I am doing and make a concerted effort to have an impact. (Recognizing that much of our impact cannot necessarily be quantified but is still every bit as important.) This means taking joy in small projects, like teaching the village kids geography and yoga, to taking on big tasks, like helping start an NGO for orphans and vulnerable children in a neighboring village. This is exactly how varied the projects I have done are. In fact, those are two examples of things I have been doing here.

So, why am I mentioning all of this? Is it so you know what I am working on too and have a clear understanding of my work plan? No, not exactly. If you're curious then you can just look here: My Projects and you will know. The real reason is because I have been here nearly a year and am getting very introspective as I reflect on my service, my expectations, and my contribution here.

As Peace Corps Volunteers, we get so caught up in the actual work we do and the end product. We want to start clubs and projects and do more more more. Generally speaking, it is in our nature as go-getters. I think it's one of the best things about us. This is compounded, however, by having to file things like work plans with Peace Corps and fill out very detailed reports each quarter with quantifiable data. We often forget about our own personal growth and our own needs/wants/desires. Therefore, what I want to focus on right now goes back to the very beginning of this journey when we were first trying to express our hopes for our service... the Aspiration Statement.

Before coming to Botswana, each Peace Corps Volunteer is asked to write an Aspiration Statement, which is basically an essay that answers five very important questions. Among these questions is the title one: what do you aspire for your service? Simply, what do you want out of your time here? I recently reread what I wrote and was pleasantly surprised. Without even trying, it seems that my aspirations are being accomplished. Granted, many of my pre-departure aspirations were broad, but these were the things I hoped to get out of my service, my aspirations, and I meant every word. These are the things I set out to do twelve months ago, copied directly from my Aspiration Statement:

Click Image to EnlargeThe moral of the story is that I have accomplished all those things that I had set out to do during my first year. My "aspirations" are being realized. And, like I said, it happened without making the conscious effort. Exciting? I think so. The rest of my service is smooth sailing, accomplishing even bigger things. Kind of makes this second year seem even more promising!

In less than two weeks, I will have been on this crazy beautiful adventure for a year. I can hardly believe it. It seems like only yesterday I was shoving things into my hiking pack and kissing my mom goodbye at the airport. When I look back on everything that has been experienced and how much growth has truly happened, it takes my breath away. I have come so far (pardon the pun).

Now, it hasn't always been easy. There have been days when merely opening the curtains to greet the day has seemed like the hardest thing to do. But there have also been life-changing moments - times when I was completely awe-struck (watching a herd of giraffe ascend the watering hole), bewildered (by "lack of logic"), out of my element (as I struggled to communicate or make sense of something), proud (of the children and staff I worked with), and when I overcame things beyond my wildest imagination.

They say that Peace Corps service is "the hardest job you'll ever love". In looking back over this past year, I can say whole-heartedly that it is true. Peace Corps really is hard and it pushes you to your highest highs and your lowest lows. This job requires a whole new level of determination, grit, perseverance, tenacity, humor, flexibility, and faith in yourself. This is especially true when your projects fail and your (only) friends are deciding to go home early. But, if you are able to stick it out and make the most of each day and each success and each smile from a village kid, then the rewards can be great. If you make the most of it, the only limits are those to your imagination and what you have the guts to try and do (while, of course, feeling watched like a zoo animal by your communities, which seems ironic since we live amongst the animals we consider "zoo animals" in America).

What I am saying is this: this first year of service has been everything and nothing that I expected. I count this as a blessing because it has been so much more than I could have imagined. Despite the hard times, I have really loved this experience and am so happy here. Botswana feels like home now and my Bots 10 group like family. I am so grateful to be at this point now. And I can hardly believe that it has been a year already... just doesn't seem possible.

I want to leave you with this song from my all-time favorite band, Counting Crows, because it sums up a lot of what I am feeling right now. And, while I know this song is entitled "A Long December" (and I do realize that it's March right now), I think the sentiments are congruent with mine. This is the end of our first year and the beginning of the final year for my group of Peace Corps Volunteers. It's time for us "to hold on to these moments as they pass" and really cherish all the greatness that this experience has to offer. Because, lets face it, the days really do go by so fast...

In America, we often take having constant access to water for granted. Something I learned very early on after moving to Botswana is that water is a precious commodity. We often go for a few days without water and this may stretch to a week or more. In preparation, most Peace Corps Volunteers store water - we never throw out a bottle because water could be kept there and we each have a few buckets that are used solely for stored water. It is a way of life that we have adjusted to. "Ga go na mathata", as we would say, "no problem".

This week has been particularly hot for the time of year. Temperatures have been about 40C/104F. This means that water is even more valued. Unfortunately for us, the water in my village has been out since Monday evening. We were told that the outage is due to a pipe bursting in the main water line in Mogoditshane (our neighboring village, between Gabane and Gaborone). There is no telling when the pipe will be fixed and water restored. The government is set to bring big tanks to Gabane for people to queue at to get water. To me, this seems like a fruitless endeavor since the village has nearly 13,000 people and a queue of that magnitude is sure to have more than a few snafus.

So what is a lowly Peace Corps Volunteer to do in a time like this? Cower in fear? Shrivel up in thirst? Pack a bag and get the heck outta dodge? Heck no! Seeing the storm clouds roll in last night, I grabbed all the buckets in my house and stuck them in my yard to catch the rain water! I now have roughly 20L of water at my disposal! Peace Corps ingenuity win? I think so!

Last week I spent my days observing home visits for HIV+ clients enrolled in our home-based care program. What this means is that I went around the village with the Head Nurse from the Clinic and a staff member from the NGO to meet with people to assess their health and what our organization can do to help. My role in these visits would be nominal at this point - mostly to meet more community members, gain a better understanding of the issues in Gabane, see how the visits are conducted, and offer suggestions for how to help the people and how to better coordinate and carry out visits. I was both anxious and excited to be a part of this side of the organization.

I have to admit, most of the visits were quite unsettling and it's taken me a week to adequately process. Throughout training, Peace Corps threw statistics at us and discussed the many issues in Botswana but it is not the same until you have seen it with your own eyes. In a sense, I was sheltered from the reality having only seen one side before now - the gleeful children at play in the OVC centers. While it was heartbreaking to know their stories, I had not been invited into the homes to see what HIV/AIDS looks like in the raw. But, as we went from home to home greeting and meeting with clients and their families, I was struck by the magnitude of devastation that HIV/AIDS has brought to this village and the sheer poverty that exists. One household in particular paints a clear picture.

We took an off-road path that bumped and thrashed the combi around and then turned into a small compound. There was one dilapidated stone building and then overgrown weeds waist high. I thought we were turning around to go back the way we came, seeing as how there was no room to do so on the path we had taken. But then the driver turned the combi's engine off and the Head Nurse said to me "lets go" as she opened the sliding door to get out. I was a little startled but got myself together as we approached the front door, which appeared to be nothing but a piece of tin roofing leaning up against the opening. We knocked ("ko ko") and entered the one-room building. There was a young girl sitting on the floor on a blanket and a mostly naked woman laying on the bed that took up the majority of the space in the house. We were there to see the woman that was now mostly bed-ridden. She was skin and bones and more feeble than any person I have ever seen. Even still, she kept a smile on her face (as much as she could muster anyway) and spoke to us in a joyous tone. She told us that she had been having trouble getting to her doctor's appointments and requested transport as it was available. We committed to help her. She then informed us that her daughter, who was sitting on the floor next to us, had just tested positive for HIV. (Transactional sex is common here, which made me wonder: With this family so poverty stricken, could this girls' status be a result of this? What kind of person would take advantage of a young girl that needs help? These are some of the issues we face every day.) The Head Nurse talked with the teenager for some time and they agreed she would come to the Clinic for counseling and then to enroll in our program. I could have cried in that moment. Looking at this family that was so poor, meeting this mother who was so sick but who was keeping as positive an attitude as possible, and then learning that her daughter was infected too - it was so devastating. What lessons were being missed in this home? in this community? Why do Batswana still refer to HIV/AIDS as someone "being sick" instead of calling it what it is? How can I help start the discussion? Will the suffering ever stop if people don't face the truth and learn from it?

The home visits have left me with a lot of questions and some frustrations that I need to work through. I wonder about how much of an impact we, as Peace Corps Volunteers, can truly make. Real change comes from the community and from within. But I needed to be educated and shown the reality here if I am going to have any chance of helping. I need this knowledge if I am going to be effective, however difficult it may be to see. And, in the end, it has made me even more compassionate because I have seen what it does to people and to their families. This compassion is what will rededicate me when the work gets tough. These are good people and they deserve more.

Many of you know that I was in a sorority in college. I was a Dee Zee - a Delta Zeta. The four years I spent in the house were among my favorite memories. I had more fun than any one person should be entitled, I made friends that turned into family, and I learned a lifetime full of lessons. I grew up there. I owe a lot of who I am today to my time in Delta Zeta. Everything about it was truly special to me. I will never forget it. That is why I am humbled to write this post.

A while ago, I was approached by another Delta Zeta from my house to ask about my service. She said she was working for The Lamp, which is Delta Zeta's national magazine, and that she wanted to publish something about my experiences in Peace Corps. We talked briefly about the work I am doing, how it has been serving abroad, and about my impressions and reactions thus far. After the interview, I went back to work on many of the things we discussed and did not give it much more thought.

Yesterday evening, I received a message stating that the article about me had been published in The Lamp. I went straight to online version and this is what I found: Tija Leigh Danzig, University of Washington - Kappa 2002, Serves in Peace Corps to Help Others. I was blown away. I feel blessed for my time in Delta Zeta, for being able to serve in Peace Corps, and for the life I have been able to live. Now I feel honored to be able to represent my sorority in a way that I believe is "becoming of a Delta Zeta" and in line with our creed (see right). It is special in a way I cannot adequately express.

I want to thank my sorority, especially my pledge class, for getting me to this point. To giving me courage and strength and encouraging me every step of the way. You have been there for me for a decade now and I could never thank you enough.

In a simliar light, I want to share that, in coming to Botswana, I have met another Delta Zeta. I met her in Philadelphia on March 31st, when my group of eager Peace Corps Trainees prepared for our journey to Africa. Her name is Kristen Sheppard, University of Maine - Alpha Upsilon '04. She is currently serving in Werda, Botswana as a Community Capacity Builder. She has become a dear friend to me and someone who I have constantly turned to for support in the past 11 months. We have a common background and are going through something extremely unique. These are the ties of sisterhood that run deep. It amazes me how, even across the world, I met another Delta Zeta and how we were able to come together under a common mission - to help others. I am really proud of Delta Zeta for helping cultivate people into the kind of citizens that feel the need to give back. It is a testament to the sorority. I feel privileged to be a part of it and to know so many wonderful Delta Zetas. Follow her service at: The Adventures of KShep.

As I mentioned a few hours ago, today I held my first Computer Basics class for the staff at my NGO. I am oh so happy to report that every single staff member, including the cooks, came to the class! Everyone was eager to learn about computers.

We started the class with the absolute basics: how to turn on the computer. I realize this seems mundane to my readers from the developed world but you have to realize that, for many in Botswana, this is life. They are just starting to understand technology and most people that are much older than school-aged have had very little or no education on computers etc. They are excited, however, and asked many questions that led the class much further than the simplicity of that. After covering an array of topics from locating "My Documents" and seeing the materials I am starting to put together for them to opening and saving files, I introduced the class to their new best friend: the typing tutor. I had installed Keyblaze Typing Tutor to all of the computers in the new lab a few days ago in preparation for the class. The last half hour consisted of getting acquainted with the keyboard. Most just learned their basic finger placement but a few made it through the first two lessons ("index finger letters" and "middle finger letters"). What makes this even more exciting and makes me smile with joy is that the staff stayed after class to continuing practicing their typing skills. They were so happy to be learning how to use the computer that they were laughing and squealing and smiling and high-fiving each other with each accomplishment. I was overjoyed seeing how this simple lesson was really impacting their lives. And, music to my ears, was when they asked if it was okay for them to practice in the computer lab even if I was not there. Yes, folks, this is a joyous day in the life of a PCV!

Yesterday, while I was in Gaborone at my Scout Troop meeting (have I mentioned that I'm leading a Scouts Troop with another PCV? Well, I am), I received an sms from someone at my NGO. She asked how to log into the computer - where to type in the password and how to get it to accept the password. I quickly responded to her message and returned to my troop meeting. After a while, she messaged me again and then a few more times with simple questions, like where to find the "documents" folder and which program she should use to type a letter (Word vs Works). After my meeting, I checked in with her to make sure that everything was okay and to find out if she needed me to come into the office when I got back to Gabane. She informed me that nothing was the matter but that she wanted to get acclimated to the computer and play around with things in preparation for our first computer class (which is this afternoon). OH MY GOODNESS. (Was I really hearing this?) She was excited to learn, so much so that she wanted to prepare herself for the class. Motivated, planning ahead, enthusiastic... this was music to my ears. It has been a while since I have had the opportunity to work with people like this. This is yet another thing that is making my days all the better. Truly amazing. And, with that, I'm off to teach Computer Basics!

I want to share a couple things that I have noticed in my time here. They are in reference to some absolutely adorable revelations made by kids here that I bet you'd never think of. Prepare to say "awww"!Flush ToiletsThis is a pit latrine. It is essentially the same sort of pit latrine that is found all over Botswana. For many of my readers, it is most easily defined as an outhouse. In America, this sort of toilet is very uncommon (except at music festivals or major outdoor events when we set up porta-pottys). Here, however, it is very widespread, as many families do not have indoor plumbing. Totally normal. This is a flush toilet. It is essentially the same sort of flush toilet that is found all over the United States. It has also been adopted around the globe, including in Botswana. Most households that have running water and indoor plumbing have similar toilets. Both of my homes in Botswana were among those with flush toilets (albeit with their own idiosyncrasies - another story). Because I am so accustomed to having a flush toilet, I thought nothing of it when the kids that came over to my house asked to use the toilet. At first, they would creep into my bathroom and sit on it, do their business, and leave without flushing. After a while, I figured this out and decided to show them how to flush. The first time I flushed the toilet, the kids went running out of the bathroom screaming. They were scared of the sound and didn't want to stick around to find out what that sound indicated. This made me giggle. Once they got used to it, however, they found the flushing to be so so so aweeesssoooommmeeee! And then the kids would venture into the bathroom, to use the facilities I assumed, and then I wouldn't see them again for fifteen or so minutes. But I would hear the toilet flush a half dozen times at least. They were absolutely fascinated by the flushing action, watching the water spin around and go down the drain then fill back up again. It was almost like a game. Now, this could be misinterpreted as a fun game or entertainment and perhaps not quite the revelation I imagined. I asked at my new NGO if that was something they dealt with too when the youngest kids (around 3 or 4-years-old) started coming to the preschool for the first time. My question was met with a resounding YES. It turns out that this humorous process was not just followed by the Kums Kids but rather by kids all over Botswana that are being introduced, for their very first time, to the magic and wonderment of the flush toilet.EscalatorsOne day, when I was still living in Kumakwane, I heard a story from the other PCV that lived in the village of three little girls who were very dressed up and excited about something. When she asked them what they were so excited about, they responded that they were going to Gaborone to see the "flying stairs". Of course, the image of stairs with wings on it were the first things that crossed her mind. Where were these mythical stairs? She inquired further. They told her that the new mall at the bus rank had flying stairs and that they were going to go to Gabs to ride them. It suddenly dawned on her that they were referring to the escalator that had recently been put in. Wow. How precious!So there you have it - two absolutely adorable revelations made by children in Botswana. Things we take for granted having grown up with them but which are amazing discoveries here.

Have you ever wondered what a Peace Corps Volunteer does?

While this is mostly satirical, it isn't completely off in the (albeit exaggerated) perceptions of what a Peace Corps Volunteer does. It made me laugh hysterically, which is why I wanted to share it. I decided to share it now because I'm about to tell you about a particularly productive day in my life (yesterday to be exact) and the development in my projects in Gabane.

My new house in Gabane has an electric stove. This was much to my DAC's dismay because the country is plagued with significant power outages. Being the motherly type, she worried I would go hungry for days on end if the power went out in Gabane (Ha! She obviously hasn't spent enough time with me! Allow myself to starve? I think not!). As such, she made me bring my gas stove from Kumakwane with me to the new village (I now have a second stove and a gas cylinder in my living room). Unfortunately, the attachment for the cylinder lost a piece so it leaks out gas when turned on so I'm unable to use it until that gets fixed. Fortunately, I haven't had a problem with electricity yet. That being said, yesterday morning I set my kettle up to boil water for coffee (thanks again Mom!) when POOF - my power went out. I felt my heart whimper a little bit. I looked longingly at the gas stove, realizing I couldn't use it but wishing that a small gas leakage into the house wouldn't kill me (because not having coffee just might!). But fear not my fellow coffee drinkers, it was short lived. Unlike my previous 5+ day stints without electricity, this one lasted less than five minutes before I heard the hum of my refrigerator return. If this wasn't a sign! This was going to be a good day!

At the NGO, I was greeted by 41 smiling children eager to do our secret handshake and get underway with the lessons for the day. They were smiley and chipper and very very happy to see me. (This, of course, makes my day all on its own because the kids are so precious.) The morning lesson was English - my speciality - and the kids were excited to show off how well they could identify the window, door, chair, and a sundry of other things around the classroom. It is at this point that I would like to brag about how wonderful the Head Teacher is at the NGO. She is an older woman, retired from her previous life in the primary school system, and passionately dedicated to these children. She approaches each lesson with patience, kindness, and percipience. I mention this now because the children are flourishing under her tutelage. I am constantly amazed at how these children, none older than 6, are able to understand and communicate in both Setswana and English (and succeed in other subjects as well). Even those that are having a harder time grasping the lessons, are comfortable in trying and giving their best effort since she supports them so beautifully as they learn that "E" comes before "F" or that "chair" and "table" are two different objects. It is a joy to watch her teach, especially in a country where teachers are not always as diligent. This is a blessing for those children, but also for the other teachers at the NGO who are watching and learning from her and for me in getting to work with her.

After the morning lessons, the Head Teacher (who is also the Center Coordinator) took me around Gabane to introduce me to our key partners. This included the Head Nurse and staff at the Community Clinic and the Health Post, Peer Educators, volunteers that work with our Support Group for HIV+ individuals, teachers from the primary schools in the village, and, finally, the Kgosi (village "Chief") and his staff. I had nearly six straight hours of meetings. I was warmly received along the way - meeting so many new people, learning about the work they are doing, and being invited to help in a plethora of ways. It was during this time that I really began to feel a part of this community and began to understand all the issues that the NGO and community faces. What's more, I started to see where I could fit into the mix and how best I can help in all these areas.

When the day was through, I sat down to plot out a schedule and figure out where to allocate time to assist (gasp) everyone. If I am to do all that I hope, there is very little way I will be lounging around in my bath bucket (as pictured above). My days will be filled with capacitating the NGO staff, assisting with lessons plans for the Early Childhood Education Program, working with the Clinic and Health Post, leading a PACT Club at the Junior Secondary School, developing a better M&E system between the NGO and Gabane Primary School, teaching basic computer classes, working with the Segoditshane Scouts Troop, and revising Reneetswe Happy Home Care Center's Constitution and its organizational documents. Phew. To say I have my work cut out for me is an understatement. Am I excited about this change of pace? You betcha!

Moral of this story? What this Peace Corps Volunteer is doing falls somewhere in the middle of all the pictures above, probably with some elements of each (except of course the CIA thing... and the monkey backpack!). And it looks like I am in for many more busy and happy days ahead!

This is dedicated to everyone in Bots 10 - those still in Botswana and those who have gone home to pursue something new. You all inspire me. I am so grateful to know you and to call you family. Here's to making the most of our experiences (wherever and whatever they may be)!

In all honesty, I was more than a little anxious about moving to a new site. I was not looking forward to learning a new community, trying to integrate again, and starting back over from scratch. Looking back, the first two months at site were my hardest in Botswana and the thought of having to relive them was quite daunting. But, alas, these were the cards I was dealt so I was going to do my best to make the most of it. I owed that much to my service and to myself. What I realized in my first two weeks in Gabane is that I have learned a lot more in these past ten months than I could have ever imagined and that this experience has been invaluable (especially for anyone pursuing global health/development work).

I now know what it takes to really delve into the issues of a community and its people. I know the questions to ask and how to phrase them in order to get the information I need within the confines of cultural norms and impediments etc. I know the right people to go to in most situations and no longer need to go from person-to-person and wade through the nonsense associated with red tape and interminable levels of protocol in Botswana. Integration is easier because I am more confident with the language and with how to talk with locals. I am not afraid to talk to passerbys, to joke with people when they ask for money ("mpha madi"), or invite myself (or others) over for tea. What took me two months (or longer) to figure out during my "community assessment phase" has taken me less than two weeks in this new environment. It has gotten easier and it all makes more sense this time around. I have learned how to navigate the system and life in Botswana. These were skills I had not realized I was cultivating.

So the lesson I have learned that I wish to bestow on my fellow Peace Corps Volunteers (and others) is this: Even when you think that you are not getting anything out of your experience, and even when you feel like you are wasting time and not being fully utilized, keep your chin up! The reality is that you are getting more out of it than you could possibly imagine. There are skills and lessons and discoveries tucked away that you never dreamed were being realized. Don't give up, believe that it will be okay, and just trust. What you are getting out of all this may not be uncovered until later but, trust me, it is happening. I have been constantly amazed by all that I have actually gained.

Last week I taught the children in my new NGO's preschool program the "Kums Kids secret handshake". (Yes, I realize this makes it less "secret" but oh well - best to share the fun I think!) Learning the handshake - how to make a fist, when to pound it, and when to "blow it up" - made the children laugh uncontrollably. After all 41 of them could do it, we did the hokey pokey and danced around and wiggled until we fell over. It was a bonding day for the children and me. It was the first day we truly interacted and had fun together. We have been growing closer ever since. Today I started to learn their stories.

Learning about the children in my community/communities has been among the things I cherish most about my time here. It is also among those that elicit extreme emotions. Today was no exception. After playing a round of "cat, cat, dog" (read: "duck, duck, goose" but with animals the kids have seen and know about), I sat down with the Head Teacher to discuss the needs of the NGO. In this discussion, I learned that most of the 2- to 6-year-olds that we work with are orphans and come from extremely poor families. Many live with sick grandparents or hardworking uncles (or similar family structures) and are left to care for themselves when not at the preschool. I also found out that one of the little girls that I started to grow attached to last week just lost her mom in December and is now being raised by her teenage cousin, who is her last living relative. Understandably, this child is having an extremely hard time ("adjusting to the loss" as the Head Teacher put it) and is wetting herself and exuding other trauma signs. She is not alone by any means. Two other children in the class are living in a one-room house with eight other people - a hodgepodge of orphaned family members taken in and being raised by an HIV+ aunt. The NGO is trying to pull together funds to help build them a new house and get them food baskets. (This is something they did once before for another struggling family. I learned that it costs roughly US$3,000.00 to build a four-bedroom house in Botswana. This could make all the difference for a family like this. Amazing to think.) The staff struggle too, as they have never received salaries and still have families and bills and basic survival needs. Things are difficult. And I'm just beginning to know the realities in my new village.

While the stories are sad, I want to also point out the positive side here, at least as I see it. For one, family members are reaching out to take in children in need. Next, my NGO and the Gabane Community have come together to offer education and services to help these families. Third, no one is giving up and everyone is pitching in to help. And lastly, I am here and I am inspired to keep these children laughing and to helping find resources to make their lives a little bit better. Their stories, however sad, are what inspire me and are the reason I am here.

I am from the Pacific Northwest. I am very familiar with umbrellas and their function. Umbrellas keep you dry when it's raining. Or at least that's what I thought... Perplexing Botswana Observation #983 is that umbrellas are for shielding you from the sun and NOT the rain.

Since it started getting ridiculously hot in October, I have seen my fair share of people walking around with umbrellas. They have acted as portable shade from the blazing hot sun. I thought to myself "genius!" and wondered if they could figure out portable air conditioners as well. It wasn't until a few days ago that I realized it was actually the only thing the umbrellas were used for. Yes, a few days ago, much to my merriment, it rained. I had a meeting in another village so I grabbed my umbrella and started walking towards the bus stop. Halfway down the road I realized that I was the only person with an umbrella. I'm usually the only person without one, choosing to enjoy the sunshine (like a true Seattlite), and now that it's raining, I am again alone. This seemed so strange to me. Either I have this backwards or they do, right? Well, no, we probably both have this right given where we come from. I lived in Seattle, where sunbreaks were a blessing and rain somewhat common and they are from Botswana where it rains in the summer when the sun is so hot that it scorches your skin. Obviously we have found our own very valuable uses for the umbrella. Even still, it baffles and humors me. I think I'm going to just carry an umbrella around all the time (or never?). Oh Botswana, you continue to surprise me!

I live in a village with a post office now! Hooray! (Love) Letters and packages can be sent to me at:

Tija "Kamogelo" Danzig, PCVc/o Gabane Community Home-Based CarePO Box 853Gabane, Botswana

How sweet is that?! (The simple pleasures of a PCV... how wonderful it is!)

Well, I did it. I packed up all of my things and moved down the A-10 to the village of Gabane. It was no small task to wade through the things I brought, things left by the previous volunteer, and things gifted along the way, but I did it. And saying goodbye to my Kums Kids? Lets just say that more than a few tears were shed during the week before I left. It was trying to say the least. But, in the light of a new day (and looking from a new horizon, literally), I have to say that it all has been worth it - a true blessing.

Today marks my tenth month living in Botswana and it has taken until now to feel settled and truly happy. It is almost ironic to me that it's taken being uprooted to feel settled but that has been the case.

As you are aware, nearly seven months ago, the NGO that I was assigned to for my primary project at my post in Kumakwane closed down. I spent a lot of time trying to get things sorted and staff poised to reopen the center. Despite my best efforts, motivation waned. When it looked as though there was nothing more that I could do, I started investing my time in other projects in the community and its surrounding areas. I integrated as much as I could and befriended a group of wonderful children. As time went on, Peace Corps decided it was in my best interest to reassign me to a new site. This meant moving from a community that I had grown to love and starting over after close to a year in country. I was skeptical but accepted my fate. On Monday morning, my things and my life moved to Gabane.

The NGO that I am now working for is called Gabane Community Home-Based Care and Early Childhood Education Center. The organization has many functions, all working towards helping the sick and vulnerable. Programs include everything from home-based care, ARV adherence, and health and wellness workshops to preschool/early childhood education, orphan care, and caregiver training and support. All staff at the NGO are volunteers, many of whom have been at the organization since it opened in 1997. These staff members have foregone having a salary in exchange for being able to feed the children and continue to support their HIV+ clients. That staff have been continually fighting to keep it afloat, overcoming a plethora of obstacles along the way. Needless to say, they are selfless, dedicated, willing, and motivated to help people. What's more, they are extremely excited about every idea that I have and truly understand that I am there to capacitate them (and not to do the work for them). As such, I am every bit as excited to teach them new skills and get them to "function at the next level" (as they so aptly put it).

For the past two days, I have been observing classrooms for the Early Childhood Education Program. This has given me an opportunity to watch them teach, to meet the children, and learn more about this aspect of the organization (which appears to be the cornerstone of future projects). Next week, I am meeting with the Executive Committee of the NGO and then going around to meet the partners, including staff from both the clinic and the health post, as well as members of the Ministry, our Kgosi (the village chief), and representatives from Pellegano Village Industries (an artist/artisan colony in the village that is helping support our organization). The following week, I will do ride alongs to observe the Home-Based Care Programs and meet the Support Group members. The staff and I agreed that it would be advantageous for me to see the many factions of the organization and how they function. The more I know, the more I can help.

In the past two days, however, I have already been able to start a number of beneficial projects, including: helping them brainstorm new fun and educational activities to incorporate into their lesson plans, developing a new monitoring and evaluation plan for the Early Childhood Education Program, digitizing reports and record keeping systems, teaching basic computer skills (including typing), and I set up email accounts for the organization and the main volunteer staff members. We are also planning on starting proposal writing sessions in the upcoming weeks. (In another vein, the women at the NGO are also pretty excited for me to help them make a picture wall to showcase their students and the work they are doing and also for me to do yoga with them!) There is a lot more to work on, which is something that is truly motivating and exciting to me. It looks like my next sixteen months are going to be busy!

I feel extremely blessed to be working with these women at the NGO. This is exactly what I had hoped to come into in joining the Peace Corps. This new site gives me the opportunity to help in so many different capacities - capacitating the staff to do their jobs better, assisting people living with HIV/AIDS and improving their quality of life, helping build curriculums and programs for orphans and vulnerable children, and then creating activities for children and youth to keep them active and healthy. And, on top of all that, I get to work with people that are motivated and passionate and care about their work. This is what I asked for during my first site placement interview. I told them that I didn't care what conditions I lived in - if I had water or electricity in my home - but that I wanted to work for a cause that I believed in and with people that were as dedicated to their mission as I would be. I can't imagine a better way to spend the rest of my time in Peace Corps.

In the end, I would never take back the time I spent in Kumakwane. Time spent with the Kums Kids and with the people from the village are among my most special memories. I was able to show Bokena how to hug, make goofy faces with Temogo, teach Elsie and Stompi Spanish, and paint Elijah's nails. I met Lovey and started a wonderful friendship (and stimulating book club). I had dogs that comforted me when I was homesick and adjusting to life in Botswana. And now? Now it's time for me to move forward and to do what I came here for - to help (even more). Finally, true contentment. ♥

And the new house isn't half bad either! See:

Today marks my 300th day in Botswana! If that's not cause for celebration then I don't know what is! High fives all around!

and (for those who are counting) only 66 days until the one year mark... then 492 days until I come home... Wow.

I intended to write this post immediately upon my return to Botswana, however that plan was quickly tarnished with all the hoopla of my site relocation. Sigh. But even all that chaos cannot put a damper on the amazingness that was my vacation to Cape Town!

This year, I rung in the New Year with a week-long trip to Cape Town, alongside 14 of my Peace Corps friends! I had expected to be somewhat overwhelmed in coming to Cape Town, having been away from that sort of life since moving to a rural village nine months prior. While I was awe-struck in seeing multi-story buildings, street signs, and abundance, I was surprised as to how fast I adjusted back into life in the fast lane. It was welcomed and exciting. I think we all felt this way about this respite. It was a week full of gluttony, as we ate delicious meal after delicious meal (everything from McDonalds breakfast to sushi to Mexican feasts); vanity in long days of shopping, manis and pedis, and Thai massages; relaxation on the coastal beaches; and an over-indulgence in wine, nightlife, and adventure! What follows is a picture tour of the highlights from the trip:



In the end, the trip was exactly what we all needed. We were able to get a glimpse back into the lives we left and feel connected to who we were before coming here. And then, in the end, we were able to come back rejuvenated and with a renewed sense of what we are doing here and who we have become.

I have been getting bombarded with questions about my pending move. When is the move? Have you told the kids in your current village? Have you talked to your landlord yet? Have you asked for a dog? Which one? When do you start your new job? Well, the time has come to answer all of these questions for you (realizing that things may change at any moment because that's the nature of the game here). So here I go:

1. When is the move?

Without going into specifics, there have been a handful of moments where I thought everything would derail and my excitement would be squandered once again. This is why I haven't been quick to respond to questions - I wanted to make sure there were somewhat concrete things to share first. There finally are! This morning was the final government inspection on the house in Gabane and it passed! There are a few things that the government wants done to the house (mostly in terms of painting and minor repairs) but I agreed that they could be done after I move in. As such, they went ahead with finalizing the contract this afternoon so it looks like it should be a done deal very soon. The DAC is arranging transport to move my furniture and things to the new house and they expect that to happen either Thursday or Saturday of this week. (Wow) I am frantically packing up everything I own here and cleaning my Kums house, while also trying to spend adequate time saying goodbye to both the Kums Kids and my other friends in the village.

2. Have you told the kids in your current village?

I thought the stress would be done once the site was determined and a house was found but that's just not the case. Goodbyes are hard, especially when they involve children that may or may not understand, and lots and lots of tears. But, yes, I have told the kids. I just posted about Bokena's reaction from yesterday. Telling the rest of the kids today (about eight of them) was no easy task either. There were many hugs and a few tears, followed by them pushing the limits of ruckus and wild behavior while we played games and colored pictures. I expected all of these things but it was still difficult. I'm going to miss these kids so much. But I have a date to play with them again tomorrow after school - we're trying to pack in a bunch of play time into what time we have left.

3. Have you told your landlord yet?

Well, yes and no. The DAC told the landlord last week and then I sent the landlord a message about also wanting to talk with her about my leaving. She said she was out of the village (my landlord is working in Jwaneng, a village a few hours away from Kumakwane) but that she would be back on Monday (yesterday). I have yet to see her. So my landlord does know but I haven't been able to catch her for a face-to-face. Sadly, I heard from the DAC this morning that my landlord is being a bit of a pill about terminating my lease early so I'm guessing she's upset. I really would like to see her so I could talk to her about it in person. I don't know if she would better understand or not but it would make me feel better to express my gratitude for the time I have spent on their compound.

(In a similar vein, I have been having trouble locating my current counterpart to discuss the move with him. He's been spending most of his time in his home village and I haven't been able to reach him on the telephone, neither through sms or phone calls, so I finally had to write him an email to explain the situation. He never responded. After days (maybe weeks?) of trying to get ahold of him, he finally called this afternoon. He didn't want to discuss my moving at all but rather the Botswana Zebras football match against Ghana tonight. I think he will make a much better friend than a coworker/counterpart so I'm going to accept that and be okay since I will be moving anyway. Peace Corps is going to address the messy bits with him for me.)

4. Have you asked for a dog yet? Which one?

I have not asked for a dog yet because I have not seen my landlord. As much as I would love to take one with me, I am not sure I want to ask for one. There are a lot of trips that I want to take and I am not sure it would be fair to get a dog knowing that I would be leaving it for days on end. I also don't think I could have a dog for fifteen months and then just leave it, especially knowing how the majority of dogs are treated here. I think it would be too sad.

5. When do you start your new job?

As soon as I get moved over to Gabane and get settled! I am really looking forward to it!

I think that's it for now! Once I get the final move date, I will post about it. Also, stay tuned for pictures of the new pad and my reactions to living someplace new (again).

Last night I had to tell Bokena that I will be moving from Kumakwane. It may have been one of the harder things I have ever had to do... To make sure that she understood what was happening, I asked a friend to come over and help me by translating my goodbyes to Setswana. Together, we told her that I would be moving down the road to a nearby village, meaning that within a week I would no longer be living in my house in Kums anymore. Most importantly, I wanted him to tell Bokena that I would be near enough to visit her and that I would come as often as I could. Almost immediately she burst into a fit of tears. She threw herself on me and sobbed. As I am sure you can guess, this made me bawl uncontrollably. I kept telling her "ke a go rata" ("I love you") and that we would still see each other. After some time, she stopped crying and we spent a couple hours playing games, dancing around my house, "oohing and awing" at Mythbuster episodes, petting the puppies on my compound, eating popcorn, and singing "I like to move it move it" (Bokena's current favorite song). When it was time for her to go (mostly because it was dark), I went to give her our customary hug and secret handshake and she grabbed hold of me and started crying again. We sat on the stoop of my house for another half an hour crying together, her sitting on my lap and nuzzled into my shoulder. I explained, once more, that this was not goodbye, especially not then, and that I would see her the following day. After this pep talk and another quick snack, she went home.

Wow. Saying goodbye to Bokena was so hard. So so hard. And I know that it is not really goodbye yet because I will see her today and tomorrow and this weekend and periodically for the next fifteen months. I can only imagine what it will be like when my time here is up and I don't know when I will see these children again, if ever. They have become such a part of me that imagining not seeing them is unfathomable. For now I am seeking comfort knowing that I will only be about 10km down the road...

(Next up... telling the rest of my Kums Kids)

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and children of all ages, the circus is finally coming to a close. No, not the Barnum & Bailey Circus but the bedlam that has been my Peace Corps existence for the past seven months. This is most excellent news and I am beyond ecstatic to share it.

This morning I went with my Assistant Program Director and the Safety and Security Officer to Gabane to meet with the NGO and to see the potential house they had identified for me. All I have to say is "brilliant"! The NGO is amazing. The buildings are covered in paintings of Disney characters and there were dozens of adorable children running around. The staff was unbelievably welcoming and seemed so passionate about the work they are doing and about collaborating with other organizations and clinics in the village. They have clear ideas for what I can do and I see perfectly how I can help them in those projects. Their excitement was contagious. I felt inspired walking through the NGO's compound (which was huge, with a lot of space for playing with the kids and for other expansion and/or income generating projects).

A few hundred feet away, was an adorable house, also on a large compound. They said that house was the one intended for me. Be still my heart, it is ADORABLE. I could hardly believe it. The compound, as I just mentioned, is very big, with shade trees and a breathtaking view of the mountains behind Gabane. Inside the house was every bit as wonderful. It's quite large for a Peace Corps house, with two-bedrooms and a large living space, a great kitchen, and a fireplace (don't judge this component, in the cold winter nights this could be a godsend). In terms of safety, police officers live on both sides of the house and a really sweet girl about my age lives across the earthen road. It is really comfortable. (Did I mention that there is a beautiful view from the house? Because there is.)

The energy everywhere I went, from the NGO to the house and throughout the village, was beyond measure. I literally thought I would cry with happiness and with relief. I am feeling like all of the hard times that I have gone through were worth it. This feels like a blessing and exactly where I am supposed to be right now.

So what is next? The Safety and Security Officer approved the location and the NGO has been approved by my APCD, the CD, and now also by my Assistant Program Manager so now I am waiting on a phone call from my Country Director to give me the final word on when I will be moving. I was advised that it could be as early as tomorrow but, more likely, will be this weekend. I have to finish packing up my house and I have to sit down with my counterpart from the NGO that I am leaving and with the rest of the NGO staff, as well as with my landlord and explain to them the move - at this point they have no idea. These conversations are going to be very difficult. I then have to hug my kids and tell them that I won't be at my house anymore. I am using the caveat "won't be at my house anymore" because I intend to visit Kumakwane and spend time with them regardless of the move. It is still very close so this is possible. There is a lot to be done and a lot to let go of but I finally feel like I am moving in the right direction and that I might make the impact that I have been hoping since arriving last April (and even before).

Alright folks, it's time for yet another update on the potential site relocation. And I have to say, I am feeling pretty good about this update and am excited to share it (albeit with some hesitation, only because the story has changed a few times in the past and I fear getting too excited about anything until it's all set in stone but alas, here I go anyway).

This afternoon I spoke with my Program Manager (APCD), my Country Director (CD), and the Safety and Security Officer for Peace Corps. They met with two NGOs in Gabane: one orphanage and the other a home-based care organization. While both have a lot of potential as places that I can do valuable work, both my APCD and my CD believe whole-heartedly that the Gabane Community Home-Based Care Organization is the right fit for me. (And, after hearing everything, so do I.)

The Gabane Community Home-Based Care was started as a support group for HIV positive people in Gabane by two very passionate people, both who still run the organization (big plus). It developed into a home-based care program and then, recognizing the need to help the children that were being affected by HIV, they expanded to include an OVC center. The NGO is currently serving about 40 OVC between 3- and 6-years-old. The founders said they would like my main role to be expanding programming to include programs for youth between the ages of 12 and 16. They have a facility that could be transformed into a youth center and six computers that could be used to teach computer skills. They also boast land for a permagarden and access to other buildings for expanding services. I would also be able to do work with the OVC center and help with administrative organization and general systems strengthening. (Super exciting!) Whats more, the NGO is a community-funded project. (Hooray!) The majority of the funding comes from the Pelegano Crafts Village, which is a conglomerate of local artists, craftsmen, and artisans. As I mentioned before, I previously visited this place and met with the potters to discuss assisting them in designing a website to showcase their work. This means that I definitely can still help with this project.

In reference to the other NGO, they currently have a German volunteer that is helping with the preschool program so they aren't in dire need of another volunteer. My APCD believes, however, that I could help with fundraising for that organization (they need a lot of help in that area). My CD also thinks that the German volunteer and I could be fast friends and that would help with getting comfortable in a new village (probably in part because we're both white but that's neither here nor there, funny regardless).

I am going tomorrow with the Safety and Security Officer to see a potential house. Fingers crossed that it's somewhat nice and really safe and wonderful. If it is, I think I will be moving in the next week or so. I will keep you all informed! ☺

I am a rule follower. I am patient. I respect authority. I take direction. I do not like confrontation. But I am here to tell you, in writing so that you can all hold me accountable, I will be my own advocate. I am tired of getting pushed around and taken advantage of. I am tired of playing by the rules and waiting to see how it will all turn out. And I am tired of keeping a smile on my face and staying optimistic when I am constantly being disappointed.

Why this firm stance and change of heart? Because I finally racked up the courage to go directly to our Country Director to discuss my looming site relocation and to clarify the situation from my perspective and it turns out that we are no closer to a resolution. He apologized for this "unfortunate situation" and then he informed me that, not only does he not want me to move to Mogoditshane (for all the reasons that I have previously mentioned), but he also does not want me in Molepolole because there are too many volunteers there (currently eight). He then stated that he believed my APCD was looking into a another potential NGO in the village of Gabane... (deep breath) ...and they may want me to commute from Kumakwane to Gabane if this NGO seems like a good fit. (Excuse me?) First it was Molepolole (back in July before they opted to keep me here) then it was Mogoditshane then back to Molepolole and now Gabane via Kumakwane... What next?

Now, this is all still in hypothetical terms so it could change at any minute, as it has so many times before. There is no actual movement in one direction or another - it's just talk. I was told that either my Country Director or my APCD will call me this afternoon to discuss other potential sites and what they have uncovered in terms of NGOs. More talk. Don't get me wrong, I like talking but I am tired of it. I have been in country for 288 days, that's nearly ten months. I should not be in limbo anymore.

Ultimately, my fear, as I have tirelessly expressed, is that I will have been in country for a year or more before I get settled into a new site. This is not fair. I have been flexible, patient, open, and positive through all of this. I have held onto hope and small victories. I have believed that it will all work out. (And it will or I'll be damned!) But enough is enough. I am going to push and prod and talk to whoever and do whatever I need to do to get this ironed out as soon as possible. No more waiting...

My friends are amazing. I am not sure how I got so lucky but I have been truly blessed.

My mentioning this could be referring to any number of times that my friends have been there for me and gone above and beyond to show their support, but this time I am talking about the outpouring of love shown yesterday after I posted about the insanity that is my site relocation process. Most comments got me fired up - made me want to fight and kick and scream about everything that I have gone through. But one note, in particular, made my heart smile a little and helped calm my spirits. I wanted to share it on this blog because I am sure it will serve as a reminder of this crazy journey in the years to come. My friends words deserve that kind of recognition.

Thank you my friend. Your words are too kind. I am eternally grateful for you.

I have a case of whiplash. Why? Because I'm being yanked back and forth by the site placement/reassignment gods (aka Peace Corps).

As you know, few days ago I was told that I was moving to Mogoditshane. I went to the NGO, I wandered around the village, and I looked at a potential house. I had a discussion with my APCD about the move and I expressed a couple concerns but then, this afternoon, told her that I was excited about the possibilities in the village and was eager to go. She told me that I would be moving within the next two weeks. I began packing. I packed and packed and had most of one of the rooms organized into boxes and ready to go. I was getting ready to start in on another room when my phone rang. It was my APCD. The phone networks were being screwy so everything I heard was choppy but it sounded kind of like "Senior staff met... Mogoditshane... Molepolole... what... your interests..." and then it hung up. A few minutes later I received a text message from her explaining the call. Essentially she said that Peace Corps' senior staff had met and decided against moving me to Mogoditshane and would start looking for potential placements in Molepolole instead. She said that the decision had been reached in part because of safety concerns that I had expressed earlier (I mentioned them because I had been told there were rough areas and to make sure my house was in a safe location. Apparently our safety and security officer met with the police today to discuss this and find out where was acceptable to look for house - I'm guessing they said it wasn't so safe. Shouldn't they have looked into this before having me go to the site?!) and in part because they don't want to have volunteers in the village in the future since finding housing is so difficult and they don't want spillover of volunteers in Gaborone. So where does this leave me? Well, if I believe what Peace Corps is saying right now, then I may be moving to Molepolole (a village north of me) to work for a yet unidentified organization that may or may not work with orphans and youth (per my request). If I don't trust Peace Corps yet because this yo-yo game is giving me a headache, then I am in limbo again and unsure of what is going to happen next. Right now I just hope that things get sorted out quickly. In three months I will have been in country for a year and, at least in my opinion, it is absolutely unacceptable to still be dealing with this. Now the question becomes: do I scream or do I cry?

I have been getting a lot of messages from family and friends asking about my impending move so I thought an update was in order...

I met with the NGO on Monday alongside my APCD, the PCVL, and two program staff from the Peace Corps Zambia office (who were here for on-site training). We asked a plethora of questions about their mission, current programming, funding sources, and their need and vision for a Peace Corps Volunteer. It turns out that they are an extremely nascent NGO - far from what was described to me in my initial meeting about the move. I learned that their funding is contingent on a number of factors and that they are lacking in systems and a strong foundation, making it hard for them to move forward. They also stated that their intention for a PCV was to have them be a preschool teacher. However fun this might be, that is not within the scope of my job. We had a frank discussion with them about how the role of a PCV in capacitating host country nationals, meaning that I could help the teachers become more effective by doing trainings with them, helping design curriculums, and assisting them in program development etc but that I could not be a teacher solely. They claimed to understand but still seemed very unsure about the way forward. (This is common among organizations that are getting their first PCV but unsettling nevertheless.) All of this made me extremely anxious about the move. I immediately felt like I might be making a move from one ineffectual site to another. This is worrisome, especially given that I have finally found resolve (and secondary projects) at my current site and do not want to start over after so long only to be frustrated and disappointed once more.

That being said, having had a few days since the meeting to let it all resonate has helped improve my perception and restored my faith in the potential good I can do. I am optimistic once more! I now recognize that the staff (mostly volunteers from the support group) are passionate and they are motivated. I believe they will take direction well and be open to what I have to offer them. And, although there is a lot to be ironed out, I can see the challenges the organization is facing and how I can help. This is huge. For this, I am grateful.

The next big challenge before I can make the move is finding housing. Because the village is so close to the capital, people often live there and commute for work. We saw one house during my visit on Monday but it was unfinished and overpriced. The NGO and Peace Corps are both fervently looking for other potential houses for me. Additionally, I have put out feelers to people I know in the area to help me find potential housing options (that fall within the confines of Peace Corps' housing policy). The hope is that we will find something suitable within the next two to three weeks so that I can make the move by the beginning of February.

My APCD instructed me today to start letting go of my life in Kumakwane. She said she can tell that I am still holding on. My response was that I have been disappointed before and that I am content in my village and don't want to let go until I know there is something positive to move towards. She seemed to understand my sentiments but continued to echo her call for my release. In my effort to do so, I am going to go to Mogoditshane tomorrow to sit with the people at the new NGO and then to walk around the village and start to acclimate. The hard part is letting go of a place that has felt like home for the past seven months and to children that have truly become "mine". It is going to be a sad day when I have to take my pictures down, remove the drawings the Kums Kids have made me from my walls, and pack up my things. It will be even sadder to say goodbye to my friends and this village that I hold dear. I imagined this day and knew it would be hard but, when I pictured it in my mind, it was 17 months down the road. So I'm going to take it one step at a time, ease my way into it, and let go bit by bit. I know this is movement in the right direction but, even still, letting go is never easy.

Peace Corps is very concerned with safety and security. Rightfully so since it is responsible for its volunteers who are scattered in rural areas across the globe. They constantly warned us to be "vigilant" and we have entire packets full of security plans in case of an emergency. Their concern with safety and security seems to be mirrored by the Batswana's own preoccupation with it. (I predict that the concern is spillover from South Africa.) Houses have bars on the windows and doors, sometimes even on internal doors between rooms, and many houses have high walls with barbed wire and/or spikes atop them. I have been warned about running in the lands or hiking the Kumakwane hill because of the threat of "rebels and thieves". And, by no means, should you ever be outside after dark unless accompanied by many people, particularly of the large and strong manly type.

Botswana is pretty safe, folks, and I cannot even begin to fathom "a rebel" - I mean, this is a country where their "violent strike" included singing and dancing. Even still, the incessant warnings from Peace Corps and Batswana have weighed on me. And now, despite my having no evidence that any of these things are necessary, after nine months in the country I have started to develop my own fears about the potential dangers. For example, I always have my burglar bars on my door locked, even when I have the door open. I also never leave my compound after dark without an entourage of people or guaranteed and secured transport.

The other night, a friend of mine came to Kumakwane from Gaborone (about 21km). He came around twilight and stayed to take pictures of the full moon and to hang out for a while. When he was getting ready to go, I started to get really worried about him driving home. After all, it was dark and there might be animals on the road and it would certainly be extremely dangerous for him to be traveling. (For Heaven's sake, buses don't even travel after dark!) He assured me that he would be fine and that he would drive carefully. Even still, I fretted. (Danger danger, driving at night is dangerous!) He sent me a text when he got home to ease my worried mind. (Thank you!) And then it dawned on me... I used to drive at all hours of the night. There were deer on the road and dogs and cats. There were still stupid drunk drivers. None of this is unique to Botswana. Why was I fearful now? Will this be a fear I carry with me for some time when I get home? And what other fears might I slowly develop in my time here?

At least I can finally say that my fear of ridiculously large and hairy spiders is gone...

No, it is not quite as dramatic as this post title indicates but, nevertheless, that is essentially the comment that I came home to...

This morning, just ten hours after returning from a week in Cape Town, South Africa (more on this in another post), I received a telephone call from my APCD ("Program Director") telling me that I needed to come into the Peace Corps office to discuss my site placement. More specifically, about relocating me. (What?! Now?! Ah!)

Now, for those of you who have stuck with me and know about the trials and tribulations of my work at site, you realize that this has been a constant discussion for the past seven months but that nothing has happened and I have been in a state of perpetual limbo. I had become resigned to my NGO being closed and focusing more on the happy things about living in my peaceful little village of Kumakwane, like playing with the Kums Kids and my compound dogs. The idea of moving at this point made me feel anxious. Hadn't this been what I had thought needed to happen since July? Why was I feeling upset? Shouldn't I just feel relieved that some progress was being made? Why couldn't this have happened when I told Peace Corps so long ago, before I had made these connections and fallen in love with my sleepy little village? Maybe I was feeling this way because I received the phone call while I was laying in the shade with Bokena and two of my dogs. I took a deep breath and decided to keep calm and go straight into the office and hear what my APCD had in mind. I got up, dusted myself off, hugged Bokena, and boarded the next bus towards Gaborone.

An hour later, I met with my APCD. She explained that we had labored long enough, had exhausted our options, and that I had put in enough effort - it was time to move on. (It's true.) In association with my Country Director and the District AIDS Coordinator, my APCD had decided that the best thing for me and for fulfilling Peace Corps' mission to capacitate host country nationals was to relocate me. What this means is that, by the end of the month, I will be relocated to Mogoditshane (a large village just outside Gaborone, essentially a conurbation of the capital) to work for an NGO that is both a support group for youth living with HIV/AIDS and an orphanage/halfway house for children. They want a volunteer to help mentor their teachers and work with them on ways to effectively communicate and motivate children and youth. This is definitely an area of interest of mine and I think that I can be beneficial in that capacity. (Bonus: they have motivated staff that have worked very hard to secure funding for the next three years and to expand programming. Yes!) As my APCD talked to me about the organization, the anxiety started to fade and the more comfortable I started to feel about the move. There seems to be a lot of good that I can do there. (Not only that but there are a lot of other options for projects in the village, including schools, other NGOs, and a rehabilitation center for youth.) So far, everything sounds fantastic and something that I could really get behind.

In the end, I am sad to be leaving a village that I love so so much but I am also excited about the potential for the next 17 months of this journey and am hopeful that life at my new site will be every bit as wonderful as my first seven months have been in Kumakwane.

And, for those of you worried about my Kums Kids, have no fear! I intend on packing up my backpack full of toys once a week or so and coming to play with them! It's not too far away and those kids are far too special to me to lose touch...

Despite the fact that I feel like I'm living on the sun because it is so so hot, it is finally starting to feel like the holidays. This is a mixed blessing but, for the most part, I am happy to be feeling in the spirit.

This year, I am most excited about sharing Hanukkah with my fellow Peace Corps Volunteers and host country nationals, many of who will be celebrating for their first time. (In fact, when it comes to Batswana, most have never even met a Jewish person before meeting me, so teaching them about Judaism and its traditions has been one of my favorite experiences.) In preparation for the holiday, I decorated my house with a Hanukkah banner and dreidels sent by my friend Jeff and I blew up blue balloons to tack up around my house. Then I wrote up the Hebrew transliterations for the blessings on the menorah so that people could join me in reciting them (and for the shehekianu - this is their first Hanukkah after all!), made posters of the dreidel game rules, and put out the cards made by Jeff's 2nd grade class for people here to wish them a happy first Hanukkah. My house now feels so festive. It made me smile to see my house all decked out for the holiday!

It also made my Kums Kids super excited! They saw the balloons and came running! They weren't sure what to make of everything but kept pointing at the Hebrew signs and smiling and then picking up my Hanukkah books (also courtesy of Jeff) and giggling as they "read" through them. They were beside themselves with excitement. In super broken Setswana (and with the help of my language teacher from PST who I kept text messaging to ask how to say things), I explained to them what everything was and a little bit about Hanukkah. They were really excited and started spinning dreidels and pointing at me and the things and talking way too fast in Setswana for any foreigner to understand regardless of their Setswana proficiency. It was precious. Afterwards, we lit the menorah together and then I gave them presents.

My sister, in a recent care package, sent me coloring books, stickers, and little stuffed animals for the orphans that I play with. I divided these things up to be gifts for them for Hanukkah. Last night, I gave Bokena and Bofelo little stuffed monkeys. They were ecstatic! They were hugging them and playing with them and the smiles that came across their face could light up the world. Bokena ran into my bedroom and grabbed my monkey, Jocko, (who was actually my dad's) and handed him to me and then grabbed my camera so that the three of us could take pictures with our monkeys. After our photo shoot, Bokena sat down to "read" her monkey one of the Hanukkah books and Bofelo set off to teach his monkey how to do word searches. It was one of the happiest moments I have had here - seeing them so full of joy. It filled me with joy too. In truth, it was probably the first time they ever got a present like that. To witness that and to be a part of it was truly magical.

I don't want the magic to end.

Today is the 22nd. That means that tomorrow is the 23rd. That is the anniversary of the day I lost my dad. I have been anxious about what this day would be like since it is the first time I will be away from my family for it. For the most part, I am doing okay. I have been having some bad dreams these last few nights but, at least during the day, things have been good. I have focused on blessings like time with the kids and that has been really wonderful. I am also grateful because two of my Bots 10 family are on their way down to be with me tonight and tomorrow so that I won't be alone. Even more, I am grateful that they didn't make me ask them to come. They just knew. I have a hard time asking for help so I appreciated not having to. It is comforting to know that I have people here that know me enough and care about me enough to travel to be with me when I need them. That alone gives me strength and helps me know that tomorrow will be okay. (Not only that, but one of them is bringing a Cohiba for us to smoke in honor of my dad. I think that would put a smile on his face.)

In the days after, many people from my Bots 10 family will be coming to Kumakwane to celebrate the holidays. On Christmas day, we will go to the lands to hear the choirs sing. I have been told that this is truly special and something that we cannot miss while living in Botswana. By the 26th, my house will be filled with twenty (or more) friendly faces to celebrate the last two nights of Hanukkah. I have been creating a menu to feed the masses and orchestrating revelry for everyone here to experience the festival of lights. I couldn't be more excited. True, I am also a bit stressed about making this a memorable and positive first Hanukkah for everyone (and also about cooking for so many - especially since my village doesn't have a grocery store so shopping involves planning, traveling, and carrying groceries quite a long distance), but I think it will be such a fun time and the sort of experience that will stay with all of us long after.

To wind up this great holiday, I will be heading to Cape Town, South Africa for a vacation with many of these same faces. Wine tasting, whale watching, Starbucks, good food, pretty clothes, shopping, beaches, Table Mountain, happy hour... the list of things to be excited about goes on. I can't think of a better culmination of this already magical holiday season.

I am eternally thankful for weekends like the one I just had. It contained all of the elements of something truly special: "family", new friends, good food, comfort, gratitude, smiling children, fun, and more. It was the sort of jam-packed weekend that left everyone that was a part of it feeling uplifted and inspired. It goes without saying that it was exactly what I needed after a series of hard weeks. I would like to share with you all the highlights (you'll have to bear with me because there's a lot to talk about):

"Farewell and Safe Travels" Dinner!

We have all made great friends with a man from Zimbabwe named Tendai. He has been "our taxi guy" around Gaborone for many Peace Corps groups and has proven to be an honest and wonderful man. We have always been able to rely on him when we need a ride someplace and when we need a warm smile and a friend. He is one of the most genuine people I have ever met.

After nearly a decade of living in Botswana, he and his family are moving back home to Zimbabwe. We are so sad to see him go but are also excited for him and his family to be going home. (Peace Corps Volunteers, more than most, understand how wonderful it is to go home.) We wanted to send Tendai and his family off with a bit of the kindness that has been shown to us so a few of us decided to take them out for dinner. We gave them the choice and they decided to have Indian food at Chutney in Gaborone. They had never eaten it before and were extremely excited to try. We ordered an assortment of paneer and masala dishes and gorged on delicious naan. It was a feast! It was also a very special evening for all of us. It gave us time to talk more about our lives and to say thank you to our friend. Tendai, Monica, and Ashley, you will be so missed in Botswana. Your warmth has touched us all. I know I speak for all of us PCVs when I say that we are looking forward to the day when we can come and visit you and see your home. 17 months and counting!

Holiday Parties for Orphans!

I had the opportunity to go to two parties for orphans and vulnerable children (OVC) this weekend. Both were amazing, if for no other reason than to see the huge smiles on the kids' faces! Precious!

The first one was in my village and was hosted by my NGO. The day started bright and early with copping vegetables for the meal that would be served to the OVC, caregivers, and guests and then preparing the facility for the event. About an hour before the party was scheduled to start, children started lining up outside the NGO - their excitement was impenetrable. By 9:30am, hundred of children were playing on the toys, laughing, and enjoying each other's company. (It has been a long time since the kids have been at the NGO for services so they were beyond excited to have equipment to play on and time to just play and be kids.) The day included music and a dance party, a cultural exhibition, lunch, and gift giving. Gifts for the OVC included things like clothes and toiletries. The guest of honor for the event, who helped distribute the toys, was Miss Universe Botswana 2011. She is a remarkable woman, who genuinely wants to help counsel the OVC and work with the youth in Kumakwane. She took time to play games with the kids and to speak with caregivers and community members.

The other OVC party that I was able to attend was for the Botswana Red Cross Society in Moshupa, a nearby village. This holiday party very much like the previous in that it involved a lot of preparation in terms of cooking and that the event made a whole lot of kids ridiculously happy! I would estimate that this party had over fifty children in attendance, all running around playing on the jungle gym, hoolah hooping, and kicking a football around. The children played for hours, working up an appetite for the late afternoon lunch that was prepared by the Red Cross staff volunteers. During lunch, presentations were given on the history of Red Cross, OVC programming, and the way forward. Songs and skits were also done by youth from UCCSA and then gifts were given out to the children. Like the party at my NGO, gifts for the kids included clothing and toiletries. The Minister of Parliament and the Kgosi (chief) came to support the event and to spend some time with the children.

Care Packages Galore!

Nothing warms a Peace Corps Volunteer's heart quite like a care package from home! I was lucky enough to get TWO over the weekend! Both contained presents for the Kums Kids, including toys, stuffed animals, coloring books, stickers, and Hanukkah cards/blessings. I was literally moved to tears by the generosity and love shown in both of these packages. All I can say is THANK YOU SO MUCH for all of the wonderful presents, snacks, and goodies! I am SO GRATEFUL!

Kind Words and a Great Reminder!

After coming to my village for the first time, a friend and fellow Bots 10 emailed me. Her words touched me and really brought me back to what matters here. I have gotten so caught up in my primary project's success that everything else was somewhat devalued, despite my knowing it is important too. Among the things she said to me that reminded me of the validity and significance of my "after-school program" with the Kums Kids were:

“…What I wanted to say was that I was really affected by the relationships you have with those children in your village who come over to your house. I was very touched to see how comfortably and intimately you interacted with them. I think that type of interaction, those types of relationships, are so amazing, and it's something that I've struggled with a lot here…The way you effortlessly engaged and directed those children, that was really nice. I like that you can have children over to your house, and that boundaries do work… your situation there is wonderful. It was refreshing to see that you invite them into your life, that you've provided them with activities. In knowing what goes on in the emotional life of most PCVs, I think what you're doing is the epitome of loving-kindness towards those children.

My specific reason for telling this to you is that I've heard/understand that you're going through a rough patch right now in your service. All I really want you to know is that the relationships you've cultivated with those children is what I thinking PC is all about. And so, obviously your issues with your work will negatively affect your feelings of self-efficacy, but you're independently doing exactly what is right. You're having real relationships with real people. You have no idea what an effect you're having on those children, but I can assure it is wholly positive. Don't forget that on the bad days. That's something that's real, that's the type of things you should take away with you when you go…”

Her words were the reminder I needed. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kindness.

Meeting RPCVs!

A few weeks ago, I received an email from a professor from the University of North Carolina at Greensboro who had done his Peace Corps service in Botswana in 1990-91. He was coming to Botswana for the first time since he finished his service and wanted to meet Peace Corps Volunteers in the area. He would be traveling with two friends, one who was a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer from Rwanda and the other who is working for USAID in Pretoria. Of course I wanted to meet them and a number of other PCVs in the area joined me in the excitement.

A group of PCVs came to my house on Friday afternoon in hopes of meeting them, unfortunately a bout of stomach sickness kept them from meeting up with us then. We were disappointed, obviously, but understood - stomach issues are not to be messed with around here! The following morning, however, we received a phone call that all were well again and that they had a few hours before they had to head back to Pretoria and we could meet! Much of the group from the day before had gone back to their villages, but Kristen and I had ventured to Moshupa for the Red Cross Society's OVC party so we were able to coordinate!

Over a delicious Pakistani feast made by our friend Azmat, Kristen, Virginia, and I got the opportunity to meet with Stephen (RPCV Botswana), Andy (RPCV Rwanda), and Joe (USAID). It was one of the most uplifting and exciting things that has happened to us (and we all agreed that it was among our favorite experiences since coming to Botswana). Hearing their stories, seeing photographs, and getting advice about service and life after was really inspiring. I feel very blessed for having that time with them.

And, of course, FRIENDS!

Even more than usual, my Bots 10 family has gone above and beyond to be there for me (and each other). I am so grateful for them. They have reached out to help me with issues at my site, to show their support, to have a little fun, and to plan even more great adventures. I love you all more than words can say. "Blame it on Bots 10"... because we really are that awesome.

Nothing beats time spent with good friends... and the Kgosi of Moshupa. Good times.