Sometimes i think..."Am i really in Africa right now?...am i really living in a village? am i really...really...really...? How can it be that after two years of Peace Corps service, i still have those thoughts...i don't know, i cant answer them for myself so I can not answer them for you. I don't want to start a countdown, I don't want to jump up and down for joy and i don't want to have a farewell party...that is how/what I am feeling right now.

Today, I went to assist one of the teachers at school with a talk on "The immune system & HIV/AIDS", it inst my first time doing that talk nor is it my first time talking to that specific group of students. For the past year I have grown close to many of those learners and needless to say I know a lot about them and their lives. While talking about the modes of transmission of HIV and by sharing a story that I recently read, i could not help to think that somebody in that classroom is infected already and here I am standing in front of them talking about being responsible for your life by 1: abstaining from sex 2: knowing your partners status and 3: using condoms correctly & consistently. I felt insensitive to their situations, i felt fake and just ridiculous. All I could think to do is to run over to them and hug them. I absolutely have no idea what they thought, and that makes me feel (insert weird word that I cant think of here). I kept trying not to make eye contact with them (which i love to do with students when i address them). I was afraid that if I did then others would think I know something they don't know. I am a paranoid individual. I want them to know that although you may have these disease, it will not stop you and your beautiful inner light from shining. I want them to know that whether or not your in this situation that you never chose to be in, you can be the best that you can be and that you are fantabulous :) However what struck me the most about today is that, one day...one day soon I will not be there to talk to them. As I always tell them, I am not your mother so i cant tell you what to do but everyday I hoped, wished and prayed that they listen to me. I am realizing that this is it, my time has come to go and I hope that somehow I did something. Somehow, I helped them realize how beautiful, intelligent and amazing each one of them are. And with that they can make better healthier decisions and with that they have learned to study hard and focus on whats important and with that they can understand that "yes we do not choose to be born in a village but somewhere along the line we can choose to be better...to do better. I knew when I joined the Peace Corps, I was not going to save anybody or be this hero person, so I have to keep reminding myself that....

"We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean.

But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop"

....as Mother Theresa puts it so well, I love her she puts everything so well anyways.

As my contract is coming to an end, I find myself consistently asking...am i really really going to finish my PC service, am i really done and um...did i just live in Africa for two years?um...Yes Peggy you did.

Do we live in a world so sad and disturbed that our so called “morals” have failed us and are now leading us into a point of no return? Do we or should it be said that I have gotten to the point where/when I first meet people I sometimes think the worse of their intentions? Has trust become something that is hard to gain? These questions are only some things that linger in mind from time to time? Working hand in hand with a community that has been greatly affected by the HIV virus has given me or continues to give me a certain perspective on things. I have met mostly women and young girls that have been lied to and that are continuously victims to lies, manipulation and deception. Some say that if you are promiscuous and careless about your body/health then your are most likely to become infected. Is that the whole truth? Are these people the only one at risk? Or does it only seem that way to people on the outside that have not seen or heard it all. I ask myself, how can a young girl who has never been to the biggest town only two hours be infected? How could she, who does not know the latest music, the hip stylish clothes be infected? Is she promiscuous? Has she given up on her life at the tender age of fourteen to engage in activities that will hurt her future? I don’t know, I don’t have all the answers but all I truly know is that it happens. Young girls, and women that has decided to follow traditions, women that committed themselves to one partner has been and are continuously deceived. I realized this makes it seem like men are the only problem or that men are the only ones causing this, and I do apologize for that but the truth is women can be just as bad and often lie, cheat and deceived. You know what though…don’t let my being here in Namibia Africa be the factor for this post. We both know that “this” is going on pretty much all over the world. Apart from Africa, the United States has alarming HIV rates that are on the rise. The same stories that I encounter here, have also happened in the states. HIV does not discriminate. Age, Sex, Race, Religious Affiliation, Economic Status, Education Level, Sexual Preference, it really does not matter. This year marks 30 years since "its existence" and HIV/AIDS have claimed countless of lives. How are you facing AIDS? It may not be to do something so extreme like volunteering for two years in Africa. Really it begins with you. As I tell my students, the youth I work with and my community… I cannot tell you how to live your life. I cannot tell you what to do and how to do it. But I can tell you to take control of life. I can tell you to demand to be respected. I can tell you to demand to know your partners status. I can tell you to demand that you use protection while having sex. That is you’re right, are you going to go on and enjoy instant gratification while risking your life? It’s your life you decide. Think twice, you are grown and you know “this” exists. Do you part in this world that seems sometimes to be going down in a whirlwind? Let it begin with you that’s one of the most important things you can do. Let us NOT let HIV stay alive for another 30 years!

In the loving memory of someone who showed me to work hard, to fightfor what you believe in, to never give up and to keep on smiling…

To be or not be...

Can you BE extremely happy andBE extremely sad at the same time? Canemotions overlap in your heart and leave you confuse and questioning the truemeaning of “to be or not to be”?Again, being able to truly describe being here is a challenge. Being a Peace Corps Volunteers is a challengein every way. By that I mean thateverything that happens to us, is often maximize and very extreme. So when I am sad, I am extremely sad and whenhappy I am on a high…on cloud 7.

My last update was in July and since then, I have been in and out ofthings. Things that has left mespeechless and things that have taken my breath away. I often try to remind myself to remember.Remember how beautiful the sunset looks over the Kavango River. Remember how Owamboland looks like an oasisfull of Palm trees amongst a mass of water and desert sand. Remember the smell of the first rain of theseason. Remember the smell of the rainon the mahangu stalk. Remember the laughof your neighbor’s adorable son and the birds chirping in the morning. Remember how the cool morning breeze caressesyour skin after a long hot night. These are only a small fraction of the things that I absolutely loveabout Namibia…yes love. I am in love, inlove with the land of my ancestors that I longed to know. The land that has welcomed me in so many waysand that has opened its arms to me...mother land that opened up her heart and home to me despite her struggle. What more can I ask for? Can I continue to be mad at the world when thingsdon’t go my way or when someone rubs me the wrong way? Can I overlook the fact that in any village,country, continent that you are in, you encounter situations and people thatare just too much? But do we give up anddo we forget the beauties that that village, country and continent offered tous? I don’t think so, I won’t subjectmyself to creating animosity towards a place just because of incidences thatmay have happened. In life there arestruggles and pain but for every struggle and for everything that causes pain,there are even more and greater things that triggers happiness in our lives andin our hearts which in turns develops love…unconditional love. So let’s try to remember everything thattriggers this happiness and love in our hearts. That is what I want to live for. I want to grow from the pain and learn from my struggles but most of allI want to remember every single moment that makes my heart smile.

September 24th 2011 was a day that I was looking forward tofor a long time. It has been a specialday in my life especially for the past 12 years. This day is a special day in my family as wecelebrate the life of our grandmother who is in her 90’s and of our preciouslittle baby Chloe who is just growing way too fast for me lol. This year, it also marked the beginning andcontinuance of true love between my great friend Melissa and her now husbandJoel. So you see September 24thcreates a burst of joy and happiness for me but life always throws your curvesballs when you least expect it. I have to try toalways remind myself that in life everything has a beginning also has an end, and asmuch as we do not want the end to come we have to force ourselves to accept it. With that said September 24th alsonow represents something else. A daythat my heart was full of happiness and sadness. Wedding and a funeral: How can you deal withbeing so far away from home and loved ones when two extreme things arehappening? As I am typing this, Irealized that I did deal with this and I’ve dealt with it the best way I knewhow to. You can’t expect life to besweet and peachy all the time but you can expect that the day will go on; thesun will set…the sun will rise and tomorrow will be a better day. You realize that you just have to let thetears down, free your heart and soul of this untouchable pain that can leaveyou in agony. You remind yourself thatin life you have to remember and hold on to everything that brings yourjoy. Do not forget the struggles and thepain, they make us understand ourselves better, they help us grow but don’thold on to them because you will not be able to live with the beauty ofmemories and of the present. In soSeptember 24th of this year brought on two more things for me but Ichoose to let the joyous events outshine. My dear friend Chantale does not deserved to be remembered just by thatday. My years in college were brightenup by her smile and her ambition. Herkindness and willingness to help taught me quality life lessons that has helpedme be a better person. Our endless hoursof dancing outside of the reitz, our trips around FL, and the amazing memorieswe created through the Club Creole family is what I will hold on to. Without those times with you Chantoutou Iwould not have been who I am, I wish I wish I wish to tell you this in person,I hoped you knew and I hope you know now, and I also hope that all my otherfriends and family know that they are also are part of my heart.

I may not have a typical life(who does anyway) with a typical family, typical job or typical romanceendeavors but what I do know is that I am blessed and lucky in the sense that Ihave the most amazing family and friends that are special to me in their ownway. Somebody once thanked me for my support aftera hard time for them but then asked me: “ Peggy, who supports you, who helps you, who does what you do for me?”and at that time I dint know how to really say but today I know that everysingle one of my friends and members of my family has molded me and shaped meinto the person I am today. I oweeverything to you…yes you. Every day ofmy life here in Namibia you help me to just keep on keeping on.

So thank you.

See below for a series of pictures to see how I am doing and what I have been up to.... Our second kids day: August 2011

HUGE beet roots: Kids day August 2011

Helping Anna prepare tons of carrots:Kids day

Jack Jack Jackie dancing with the kids :) @ Emily and Desmund's wedding :)Beautiful beyond words, had an amazing time to say the least! With my friends and the kiddies :) Back @ Omuthitu with friends after killing and eating the goat :)

Meme, Tate Kulu Spence and I :)

Thanks for visiting and reading my blog, hope you enjoy the pics miss you thikuma :)xoxo Peggy

HIV/AIDS Prevention and Education is...

...patience

...dedication

...Team work

...Being flexible

...1 on 1 interactions

...agreeing to disagree

...non-traditional teaching

...expecting the Unexpected

...fighting for what you believe

...accepting things that you do not understand

...learning that your ways or ideas aren’t always the right ones

...teaching that everyone should demand to be respected

...helping youth(and older people) realize that they matter

...building confidence through skills learning and sharing

...pushing through the hard days when nothing makes sense

...helping youth realize that they can be the best no matter what

...helping others understand what is it in their life that puts them at risk

...remembering that nobody is perfect and that tomorrow WILL be better

After being asked to put a poster together(regarding my work in the village) for an All Volunteer Conference, I thought about what HIV/AIDS prevention and education is to me and how exactly am I "teaching" that to people in my village. Above are some things that I thought about, there are a million of explanations and ways that other volunteers or people in general are using in order to "teach" people about HIV and such. I put "teach" in parenthesis because, I don't believe that I am a "teacher" to be exact, and I certainly do not only believe in just traditional ways of teaching. I think at some point before I joined the Peace Corps and during our first couple of months in country during training, there was an expectation that what we will be doing is finding people in our community to form groups in orders to have sessions about HIV. But what does that really mean? Is it expected that every week or so, I will meet with these different groups to deliver information about HIV. Is that all? Is that very productive and effective. Maybe it is but what else should HIV/AIDS prevention and education involved? As our HIV/AIDS coordinator said, we have past the point of "just teaching" about HIV, we need action, we need behavior change. I to have done "traditional teaching sessions" about HIV but for the past couple of months I have realized and felt that I have been going about it the wrong way. Just as a young child learn about many things about life in different settings or through different things, I think that I should also change the way I go about this.

So...to better explain, let me just say that I can no longer just stand in front of people to "just" talk about HIV. Over 75% of Namibians know what HIV is and the modes of transmission, so does that mean that it is beneficial or enjoyable for them to hear a Haitian-American girl speak English with a weird accent about something they have heard thousand of times. Yes some may argue that, that sounds impossible since people are still getting infected with HIV. I do ask myself that all the time, however, there are many many many other factors (which I will not get into today...maybe one day) that contributes to the rise of HIV infections. Moreover, I like to think back on my life and thing about what molded me. What did my parents/family keep me from, what did they teach me, what did they not allow me to do? What influenced me, what TV shows/movies did i watch or what type of music did I listen to? Who were my role models? Why and how did I decide not to do certain things? How many of my teachers truly invested their time on me? etc... I like to think about these things before I plan something with the youth I work with (the health club). I like to question myself and see what exactly are they going to get out of these activities. I also like to give them 1-1 attention.

Lately, I have been pushing them to get more involved in their community. It is said that:

"Through quality service experiences, youth can develop important skills such as critical thinking, a sense of civic responsibility, and an increased sense of self efficacy that will be useful to them throughout their lives. The sense that they can, and should, participate in their communities creates a strong foundation for their future. In addition to the civic and academic skills benefits, studies are starting to suggest the connection youth make to community members, their educators, and other classmates can impact their decisions and abilities to graduate from high school. Youth engagement in a community, especially when tied to the curriculum and when the youth are given an active voice, can be an enormous benefit to the path of not only the youth’s future, but the community's future as well."

with that I hope to really have an opportunity to build up their character, their confidence and give them an opportunity to have an active role not only in the club but also in their community. In addition to that, I like to talk about random topics that aren't necessarily tied to HIV but that are essentially an important factor to developing their "life skills". Sharing ideas amongst volunteers and my co-workers at work is also really great. I love that I can totally change what I planned to do to incorporate experiences and advices from others. It is difficult to talk to some kids about certain topis sometimes (like condoms, sex, love ect...and even teach them health skills like how to take pulse or use a computer) And after many of them told me that they heard that Love stood for "Lady Open Vagina Everyday", it became clear that these topics had to be brought up several times. Let me be clear and say that not everybody in my community have these thoughts nor believe that, it is just unfortunate that this phrase was made up and that some kids have gotten a hold of it. Just as in the states their are many unfortunate things that the youth fall into. Anyways, topics like these do not usually involved the youth and if they are not hearing the real truth about them, where should they go and get the facts, clearly not only amongst them since the phrase Lady Open Vagina Everyday was made up. I am not one with all the answers or the perfect life, and I make sure to tell them that. What I do know though is that in life there are some things that we should not tolerate. Such as being disrespected, being forced to do things we don't want or don't feel ready to do...to name a few.

I hope that I am somehow getting through to them. I am asked how do I monitor and evaluate them and to tell you the truth there is no precise or best way for me to do so. It is sometimes hard to see if they all understand or comprehend what I say, since even after 6 months they are very quiet, so quiet that sometimes I die a little inside. Anyways some of them participate and really asks me questions that helps me realize that they are thinking. So i go with that but most times I repeat the same sessions every couple months are so. After all repetition does work....right?

Besides all this work mambo jambo lol, I am doing well. August is suppose to be the last month of winter so I am looking forward to summer SOOOOO much, i don't think I can explain in words how excited i am lol. The day time is really not that bad, let me not let my exaggeration get the best of me lol but really at night and in the early mornings...its cold :(.

As far as language learning, Kuna ku kambadhara...I am trying really. We are suppose to start some nifty nutrition classes with pregnant women...one day, so I think I am going to write down my parts in Thimbukushu on an index card then just read it when the day comes. There is a great possibility that my pronunciation will be ...not so good and that people will laugh lol but ill keep you updated with that lol.

I must admit...I am not good at really up keeping my blog i should not lie to myself or you...but i will say that...kuna ku kambadhara.

Until next time my friends and lovers!

Smile like you mean it :)

Karepo Thiwana!

Ngepi?

I know I know, I promised I would have written pretty often but sometimes putting everything that I do, see and feel here is a bit hard but I will try just for you :).

Everyday when I wake up, I realize how completely in love I am with my life. It is really a special feeling that I hope you guys are able to experience and if you are not experiencing it now, I know one day you will. If you asked me one year ago, where I thought I would be today, their would have been absolutely no way for me to even begin to try to imagine that I would be here. Not just physically here in Namibia but also emotionally and mentally "here".

Yesterday on my way back home after a meeting as we were driving towards the sun set, all I could see how absolutely beautiful life really is. Despite everything that goes on in our lives, the troubles, the turmoil, the sadness and the pain...despite all of that there are soo many little things that were created to constantly remind us that life is beautiful. We have the power to ultimately take everything that happens to us and turn them into positives things. Everyday no matter what, the sun rises and sets and for me that is a constant reminder that even if I had a bad day, I am hopeful that tomorrow will be better.

As usual work as has been busy but I absolutely love it. I could not have asked for anything else. I always told myself I hope one day when I work, I hope that I will be happy to wake up every day in the morning even when I am tired. and yep by 5:30am/6am whether I am tired or not I wake up and go to work to try and help somebody somehow.

These days I am not seeing the students as much. They have been doing exams and now they are off for vacation or holiday as they like to call it here. However, some new opportunities for me to keep busy has presented itself. Last week, I was mostly helping with planning for a training for the members of the support group. The training came about because the clinic has been enrolled in a program that will provide support to kids infected and affected by HIV. Especially the kids that are on ART (anti retro viral treatment). This programs recruits volunteers that will be working closely with those kids and their caregivers as well. It is very important that all the needs of the kids are met. It is very good that they are always coming for follow up and for their medicine...but is that enough? I think that this program is very important because their is so much that kids have to deal with on a daily basis here in the village. However they are barely ever given the opportunity to express how they feel. What is also hard and complicated in that situation is that most kids do not even know that they have HIV. So that within itself is another big topic that needs to be addressed with the caregivers of these kids.

Planning for this training drained me mentally. I realized how hard this can actually be. Not doing the training itself but presenting this information and really trying to support these people emotionally. What got to me is that, I am presenting this information to people that are already living with the virus and that knows the hardship of that life. Now I have to try and explain to them how to deal with kids that are infected based just on what I have studied and what I have read. All these thoughts were going through my mind while trying to find best ways to present the information for the training. Thankfully, like I may have said in my previous post, I am extremely thankful for my amazing co-workers. Working with my co-workers and sharing my emotions with them is really helpful. I am very determine to never ever do anything by myself here. So every topic that I was coming up with, I was also presenting them and brainstorming with the senior counselor and the social worker. Being able to work with them to make sure that I am not just doing what "I" think is right is important. Together we are able to take cultural norms into consideration, we shared our ideas and decided what will work best for that group. So by me sharing my experiences working with kids in general and by them sharing their experiences working at the clinic we were able to finalize a program that will help those volunteers be successful when they interact with the kids and their caregivers.

So far the 4 people that we are training are a good group. They are part of the support group and very good to work with. They are very open about sharing their feelings and seem to be receiving the info that we are giving them very well. With that said the training went really well. For the month of may they will just be coming every day to do hands on training then will start their respective task in June.

So what else is new???I have to say this post above was written maybe 2-3 weeks ago and I am just now trying to wrap this post up. I have been in out of my village for workshops and Peace Corps business now for the month of work, I will just be here working...I am looking forward to next month because my social life is looking good because of some other great volunteers that I have met and I will be seeing one of my friend from my group :)

OOO! so I TOTALLY had a breakthrough yesterday with the group of youth that usually meet with twice a week. IDK if I have posted about that group before but I have had some serious sessions with this group that has left me completely defeated and that made me seriously question my purpose here in Namibia. I think what was hard is that when discussing certain topics like (why should a girl carry a condom, or why should a girl initiate sex or why is it ok for guy's to cheat), is that I just dint know what to tell them. I am not here to judge them or to tell them that their culture is bad, that really inst my place nor my purpose here but dang I just dint know what to say I was speechless because 1) one guy said that "yes it is ok to cheat on his girl friend as long as she never finds out then he is respecting her and he is not hurting her and 2) a girl completely and seriously told the whole group that she was only made for sex and if her husband/boyfriend wants to initiate sex and not use a condom then it is ok. so yea I was completely speechless. Ultimately I just repeated the fact that "I am not here to judge them or to tell them that their culture is bad, that really inst my place nor my purpose here but remember that no matter what, you always have a say in a relationship and just as the world is changing there also changes that you need to make for yourself, and if there are some things in your culture that can potentially put you at risk to HIV then you HAVE to take that into consideration and decide for yourself what is right. That day I felt like I was talking to a brick wall, the next couple of times I went...same things were being said, needless to say my patience and my positive attitude were being challenged alllll the time...but yesterday wowzers I HAD A BREAKTHROUGH with them...it was a great feeling. Last week, I started using an HIV teaching tool created by some other organizations and it worked really well. It is basically a movie called "Three and a half Lives of Phillip Wetu", which shows how this guy Phillip has many sexual partners. The good thing about this movie is that it is very interactive and there is a pause after each scene and the audience has to choose what they think Phillip will do next....anywhoo back to the breakthrough. At the end of the film we had a really good conversation about why they thought the movie was good. Some of the guys that were so set in stone about topics regarding sex and condoms, were bringing up the topic of girls carrying condom and were saying that yes it unacceptable for a girl and a guy alike (who has a significant other) to carry a condom and that it is ok for both sex to carry a condom if they are single. It was very surprising to hear them say that because I never thought in a million years that he would even consider the thought. Although some others were still a bit reluctant to completely say it I still think it was a breakthrough even if it was small. I have about one month left with that group so I soooo hopeful that every time they have sex they will think twice about what they are doing and they will choose to do the right thing.

ok I hope that this updates finds you well, i will try my hardest to keep up with it more...

I put some pics on facebook check them out now now!

ps. Hopefully I will start with Thimbukushu language classes next week so more vocab words to come soon lol.

in the mean time...Kare po thiwana

Peace & Love my people :)

...plz excuse my english... there are some errors in my writting lol

Kupi ku kunakyenda? Kunakuyenda ku Katima? This weekend for the first time in my life, I saw TWO elephants...and it was not in a zoo or a circus :). They were just there hanging on the side of the road when we on our way to Katima which is a town about 2-3 hours from me in the Caprivi region. I went there to hang out with my PC peeps and def had a good time, just laughing at nothings and helping another PCV with her yard sale which by the way was my first yard sale experience. To end my fun weekend, we got a great hike from a Namibian UF Gator Grad, my first time meeting a Namibian that has been to FL and Gainesville as a matter of fact. It was pretty cool reminiscing about G-ville, gator nights and those African Student Union friday meetings :) so YAY for a weekend of firsts :).

I like to try and test myself by writing in thimbukushu on here without using my book/notes/ or flash cards. Its unfortunate that I dint get any training on this language from Peace Corps. Its really hard sometimes to just try and remember sentences when I don't even know what i am saying. Like is this word a noun, pronoun or verb idk sigh...I think I am going to start sitting in the thimbukushu classes at the nearby school, one day I am hoping I will understand at least one sentence people tell me when I am walking around in the village lol.

My life these days... just busy with work. Back and forth between the school, the VCT (volunteer testing center) and the youth center. I love that I consistently have something to do. As a health volunteer, consistency is often what we lack of in our work. However, being involve with the school helps me have something to do consistently. That way I know everyday when I wake up, I have a purpose.

This week I was able to finally have a meeting with all the members of the support group. wow....thats was an eye opener. In the sense that, I had heard a lot from other people about the group but being in that meeting made me realize that there are soooooo much challenges to overcome with the group as a whole. Things that seem so obvious to me is not seen by them at all. To me, it should not be a challenge just to do some things. I just kept asking myself why does it seem like this group has forgotten how to use what they have to try and make things work. A big thing that came about is some of the smaller groups were explaining that they need a fence for there garden because animals often come in and destroy there crops. I totally understand that and I totally agree. My concern is that the group do not have no money to build a big and fancy fence for all the gardens so why not just build a traditional wood/stick fence until we are able to generate money for something better. The reality here in countries like Namibia is that A LOT of funding is being cut. Therefore grants that were probably available years ago are scarce now. AND....the grants that are offered now...are soooo difficult to get. Donors are very specific on what type of projects that they will fund. There are soooo many guidelines and requirements. For a project like in my village who has already received a big grant in the past years, it becomes really hard to: 1 explain to them that they will not easily get another grant and 2 help them understand that they have to start generating more money. Thankfully, the chair person and others in charge of the group understands where I am coming from and are consistently working diligently for the success of the support group. So we agreed to just start working asap on the garden here around the hospital, that way we can start generating funds from there. The dedication is there, so I know with time and hard work things will get better.

In other news, the health club at the school has officially started as of yesterday. Imagine that since 2009 when I first came to Namibia, I had a vision to gather selected students from a school to come together to learn about leadership, to discuss health problems in there community, and to learn health related skills (first aid, CPR) and yesterday we were finally able to put the words into action. I can not begin to explain to you how excited I am. What is even better is how great it was to see how the students were already taking charge, leadership and ownership into there health club :). That really made my heart smile. In a matter of an hour and a half we were able to discuss our purpose, our expectations and THEY elected an eboard :). Ladies and gents, where there is a will there is a way. Do not give a child a fish but instead teach him how to fish. Give kids responsibilities, let there voices be heard, give them the opportunity to talk, to express themselves. Create an environment that fosters who they are, an environment that will help them use there mind to think and put there dreams into actions.

My purpose here is not to save lives. I know that when I leave everybody will not stop being infected with HIV, what I do know is that I will try my hardest to teach and to help people (especially kids) realize that there is another world where you can be a nurse, pilot or a teacher. That they have the power to make decisions that will help them accomplish there goals Yes, it will be hard and yes it will take time but you HAVE to try and you have to work hard...if you don't try how will you ever know what you can become.

Kare po thiwana!

Matumero for reading :)...until next time...wear your seat belt, & don't text and drive !

Laziness will destroy you and your life...Sometimes I think about how lazy I can be especially when I have to wake up extra early and the sleep is so good lol. Yesterday on my way back to the hospital from the school, I was thinking about how lazy I was feeling that morning and how I had even tried to think of ways that I could get out of the early sessions that I am doing with the students at school. Yea I know, how could I come that far to Africa and think that lol....but thankfully my good inner little voice made me snap out of it.

I have been keeping pretty busy here and I am loving it. I am trying to find my nitch and I feel like I am able to create a schedule that I can keep.

]

Monday I was able to do a presentation for 200 girls about the menstruation cycle. Thanks to a former teacher Peace Corps Volunteer, Lori and her organization

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/Empower-Women-in-Africa/182591221781269, we were able to distribute 600 re-usable pads from http://www.gladrags.com to the girls at the school :)...After we passed them out and told them all to raise the pads in the air to take a picture they alll said ALLELUIA...it was really funny but so good to see them happy like that :).

The main thing that is keeping me busy everyday are the Life skills/HIV prevention program that we are doing at the local school in the village (Andara Combined School). Along with the HIV prevention officer from the hospital, we are facilitating sessions on HIV prevention methods and behavior change (

allo you the Obama people...ha the americas, yes sister how are you? can you help me $2 so that I can buy some sweets?

I really shouldnt but it is funny to hear. If only I could remember everything I hear every day when I walk lol.

week 1 down, very good 1st week indeed, much better then my 1st week at site back in 2009. It almost feels like I should be doing wayyy more but I have to keep reminding myself that it is only the first week.

Potential projectst that are already in place and that just need a little push from me, that is my job. giving people a little push, helping them accomplish there vision so that when I leave, they will not need me anymore.

So as I was saying...potential projects:

-Support groups...helping them coordinate the group, develop marketing strategies for there vegetable garden and soup kitchen. Assist in creating programs and activitiies that will give them other things to do besides drinking (for exemple)

-Health prevention education classes at schools

-Outreach into smaller villages

-Youth empoweremnt health clubs...

Definitely a lot to keep me busy with. A lot of work because of lack of funds and resources but it is possible. Baby steps, if that is what we can manage to do then that is what we will do.

So I have been helping them put down goals and give themselves deadlines to accomplish them.

lets see what the first month will bring... :) I am hopeful....all will be thiwana :) yes that has to one of the only words i know lol...

unitl next time

Stay well and warm :)

www.livelikeapcv.org ...go ahead I DARE YOU :)...

Finally in my village, and I am loving it. Things are somehow slow, i am just trying to assimilate, evaluate and see where I can fit in and what I can do. Everybody is soooo nice and welcoming. I heard nothing but good things about this village before I came and I can see why. People are also sooooooooo motivated. I can definitely see that I will be busy, there is potential for sooo many projects.

In other news, I do have to learn another language but thats cool, its a challenge and I like it...Thiwana ?

until next time my little butterflies,

stay out of trouble, dont talk to strangers and wear your seatbelts

love you :)

Dear Namibia,

Thanks for having me back, it was so great to see you sooo nice and green. I missed you.

after 3 days of traveling I am finally here. I always knew I would be back just dint know when.

I am running some erands but it looks like I will be in the capital for the week :)

SO....i will have freeee internet as well :)

hollazzzzz

One whole day in Germany....what should I do? ok ok...yea chance of a lifetime blah blah blah but dang its cold out...but ok...I just came back from downtown...it was not that bad. I am just really tired. I fell asleep and missed my stop :(. I am back at the airport now waiting for the Air Namibia people to come so I can check in.

The flight here went well although now I definitely still love South African Airlines. It has got to be the best international flight ever. Great plane, great food, great customer service. The one I took last night...I'd rather not comment lol.

bon...im trying to call people on this skype business why is it saying that I have no more money...um...i thought US calls were free...woooshhhhhh!

3rd time has to be the charm...

its weird because it is my second time going back to Namibia, however due to some unforeseen things...I had to switch sites my first time in country.

1st site: Joint Compassion Keeper/Eagle Christian Center...Swakopmund, Namibia

2nd site: Omuthitu Combined school...Omuthitu, Namibia

3rd site: Catholic Health Services...Nyangana, Namibia

sooo .... 3rd time HAS to be the charm :)...

let's see :)... I will def try to update this blog more, either way just follow me and you will find out :)

ps. My end date is April 2012, fear not I will be back soon :)

Monday January 17th 2011, My official "leaving" date for the Peace Corps....again. Definitely a lot of the same feelings. Anxious, happy, relieved, scared. It's bitter sweet. I have no doubts about it though, that's why having all of these feelings are soooooooooooooo amazing and wonderful. Its been about a year since I came back and today marks one year since the earthquake in Haiti. It is still unbelievable to me. One year went buy so fast. I am forever thankful for allll of my family, friends, Peace Corps family, Namibian family that helped me made the right decision that worked best for me. At the end of the day, I made this decision and I do not regret it at all. Now going back to Namibia may be hard for some to understand but to me it is the only thing that makes since to me in my life right now.

Although leaving home this time around is definitely much harder, I find myself having some sad moments during the day wondering about my family and friends daily tasks without me in them. I am trying to enjoy these last couple of days soo much. I know I will miss them, although once I get to Namibia I refuse to have the word "miss" in my vocabulary. Shoot that's just setting yourself up for failure.

I am still packing, a task that I will never like doing in my life. Although I know this time around I will bring more shirts since I literally just packed two of them last time lol. Also I am bringing more clothes that helps my personaly shines through. I think I missed that memo last time. I read soooo many blogs and sooo many people's "packing list" that I forgot to include MY favorite style of clothes in the list. I am not saying that those blogs and lists aren't helpful they are...very but I did get caught up. This time around...naw buddy I am bringing more then two shirts lol. For all the people out there doing Peace Corps Namibia one day...DO NOT pack 2 years worth of sanitary napkins and toiletries. When the letter from Namibia says you can buy stuff in country...you can REALLY buy stuff in country. My advice is, bring things that you like, that will remind you of home, that will make you smile but do not bring an excess of them as if you will use them everyday. Things to you use everyday, you can buy in country the things that you do bring you will save for a rough emotional day that you may have :)

t -4 days... :)

with Love

...orange spaghetti

If you did it all again...what you pack? That question crossed my mind many times while I was in Namibia and now that it is happening, yea I am not sure. What I am sure about though, I will not pack as much crap as before lol lol....

I have about two weeks left to get everything in order...so we will see how that goes, either way I am ready!!!!!!!!!!!

It is true, I know because I have been doing it and I feel happier. Things happen, things will happen and I will never be able to change some of these things. I have let go of so many things and just been accepting life for what it is. Yes I am working 2 brainless jobs and that was never part of my plan at this point in time in my life, I cant complain because it is what it is. At least I have a job and I am able to save money. There is just something about accepting it all, its like I can feel some control in my life. And with some of that control, I can decide to do what I want, when I want and How I want...what more can I ask for?

I cant believe 2010 is coming to an end. New Years feels like yesterday, in Namibia with Shawn and Caroline (Some of my peace corps lovers lol :) and we were toasting to the best year ever. Where we were going to make things happen no matter. Where we were going to just live for the moment and help as much as we can...no matter. 11 days later, my life changed and I never expected it to change that drastically. This year has been more then expected, tears and sweat but today I can say that I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel...a couple of months ago I wondered if that could ever be possible. The world is not perfect, Life is not perfect, I am not perfect and things will never be just the way we want. I am just trying to live the best way that I know how and it has been working, so thank you God. Thank you for the strength, courage, patience and love that is helping me see the light at the end of the tunnel, and that is all that I pray for you (reading this) and for myself.

/...10 months since leaving Namibia, after feeling like 6-7 of these months of my life were a blur and confusing, I am at place now where seeking stability in every aspect of life has become more then ever a priority. The past year and months has been a learning experience that came at me so fast that I could not and sometimes still can not process all of these "eye opener" moments. but that's life, you can NEVER expect it to go your way. So....just keep swimming!

when I decided to apply to Peace Corps, I knew it was the best decision for me .... 3 years later I absolutely feel the exact same way. With no 2nd guess with no hesitation I have decided to do it all again. To start over with a new site,new village, new challenges, new everything, its scary but exciting nonetheless.

Recap of my PC timeline

My timeline

August 2007------> started application

September 2007-->turned in application

October 2007----->Interview & Nomination to West Africa for Health Extension program!

November 8th 2007

-Medical Kit mailed to me

-Started Medical process

December 2007

-immunization

-Doctors appointments

-Dental X-rays

January 2008

-More Doctors Appointments

February 2008

-Wisdom teeth pulled out

26th-->PC received my medical packet

March 2008

-more doctors appointments

-More information to sent to PC

April 2008

-More information to send to PC

-Dentally cleared YAY!

May 2008

GRADUATION :)

-More information to send to PC

-{Hopefully get medically cleared soon}

June 2008

-17th:Medically Cleared YAY

-Waiting on placement

July 2008

-Packing and such....NOT

August 2008

-Packing and such.....NOT

-got email saying that my program was full

-my nomination was differed until ????who knows

-Had phone interview with my PO (she said that I would not be leaving this year)

-She told me maybe January or March of '09

-looking for a job :/

September 2008

-Original nomination month {dint happen}

-Last minute packing-----NOT

-NOT Leaving

-still looking for a job :/

October 2008

-23rd: email with status update

-27th: received invite packet {Namibia...February 18, 2009}

-28th: ACCEPTED invitation :)

-still looking for a job :/

November 2008

-PACKING

-hopefully ill have a job :)

December 2008

-PACKING

-working :)

-partying:)

January 2009

-PACKING

-working :)

February 2009

-LAST MINUTE PACKING

-NOT working lol

-18th: on plane to Washington

-21st: on plane to Namibia

LIVING THE LIFE :)

April 2009

-Officially a Peace Corps Volunteer PCV

-Move to Swakopmund Namibia to work with Eagle Christian Center

October 2009

-Site changed to work with Omuthitu Combined school (Omuthitu village, north of Namibia)

January 2010

-12th Earthquake Haiti

-14/16th Back to USA

January 2010-October 2010

-in and out of places

December 2010/January 2011

-Back to Namibia... fingers crossed :)

So... the 3rd time has to be the charm...right? I hope so.

In the mean time now now...i have to get ready for work!

until next time...