Peace Corps Journals

194. Teach me more

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Experiences in Moldova and beyond

2012-02-09 15:52:00

My host family and I sat down to have dinner. We ate fried rice that I made with my host mom. This conversation happened during the meal:

Host Mom: Team me more recipes, I really like this food. It is simple and healthy, it has hardly any fat in it.
Host Dad: Don't teach her any more recipes. I am not tired of and like the food she normally makes.

I think my host dad will just have to deal with trying something new a few times a month.

Encouragement

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Kiddo says Hello.

2012-02-09 02:05:00

What is the difference between reactions to positive and negative feedback? What is more motivational? No witty story is going to grow here as I contemplate this. It's one of those less than fun situations where my brain focuses too much on the moment. Digestion becomes the thing to do later. I have faith my brain keeps the words and emotions in a bundle and unpacks them on its own time, like in my dreams or whatever, and that the confrontation with criticism will eventually prove to be productive.

If it does, I will consciously never be able to attribute the outcome to that person, that time, those words they used to mould me anew.

My current menial labor is in a restaurant. I started as a busser—that idiot who brings you bread, water and silverware, the unknowledgeable a-hole hovering with a fifty percent chance of screwing something up for you without you knowing it. Yep. That was me. I was taught a thousand tiny details about things you, a guest, are not supposed to notice. The fact that you don't notice them is what means I'm doing my job. So I won't enlighten you on what they are, only how I feel, emphatically, about it.

It is very noble work. Someone must do it so others can enjoy their lives. The sort of training undergone to make guests feel smooth and carefree is ongoing. Even after you are technically proficient other anal retentive people working higher in seniority and merit are going to continuously notice things you didn't do and should have. It is a steady stream. A steady stream of negative feedback.

Most people attempt to put positive spins on this negative feedback, to say it with a smile, or whatever. Most people fail at this.

It tends to come out as a very clever combination of “You're Wrong” and “You're Good.” Win for behavior, fail in execution.

In between these motions are little glimpses of social behind-the-scenes footage between staff members. In these moments you are not being criticized at all, but are on equal footing with everyone around you. It raises you way up. It has a Machiavellian way of eliciting dog-like devotion.

Bussing, in particular, is great for training people like you would train a dog, because of its monotony and eternally changeless repetition of movements. Constancy.

Personally, this is an ideal environment for accepting criticism. The stress of the initial criticism melts into the next and the repetition builds up awareness. Unfortunately, this too has its limits.

After so long, I get bored with the repetition and stop caring whether or not I'm being criticized at all. Improvement stops. It becomes no better than the all love or all hate environment. Which is only the fault of the task at hand. If it were a task complex as, say, directing films, I would flourish.

Variation with constancy? Is that what we've learned in today's rumination on mundanity? Ironic to anyone else?

RegrEtsy

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Kiddo says Hello.

2012-02-09 02:07:00

Zoids and her hubby, uh, Boy Zoids, are having a steampunk party in my sweet basment for Boy Zoids' b-day. I am their Organizer. I imagine myself as a blonde Jennifer Lopez from that one movie. I call and drum up ideas etc.

I have already experimented with some uber british olde recipes. I have rearranged furniture. I have draped everything in pretty cloth. I have started rigging a weird tutu/corset thing made of a wife beater and coat hangers. I have spent too much money on little brass studs to decorate everything.

Then I realized how hard some of these things are to make-- phew! Sewing!

I talk to my little friends on the facebook via some sort of new fangled ICQ and one, Card Shark, sends me a sweet idea for a steampunk bodice:

I take some issue with it, but am amused by the site it comes from "regretsy.com" and it occurs to me that if I can buy something this crazy on etsy, I must be able to find exactly what I want!

Here they are.

The only thing I have to regret is my life wasted as an artist and not an engineer so I cannot afford to buy such beautiful artistic things.

Winter

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Wishful Thinking

2012-02-08 21:23:00

It is too cold to write blog posts. But don't worry Spring is coming and then I should reawaken my blog. Given adequate time to defrost first.

Oops I Did it (Once AGAIN?!)

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova The Simble Life

2012-02-08 17:38:00

Sometimes we think we might never learn. We make the same mistakes over and over and over. And why? Well it's because these mistakes are part of a habitual action that took years and years to create and will take years and years to deconstruct. And every step is a small success...right? Be gentle with yourself.

Growing up we didn't have a ton of sweets in the house. My mom would bake cookies, breads and brownies here and there. They were a treat more than a standard. Halloween meant candy, which I loved. And once I got into high school and could drive myself right over to the store where there were aisles of sweet stuff? Uh-oh, trouble. Who knows why I have such a sweet tooth. I have a handful of theories:

1) I took a lot of antibiotics as a kid so maybe my intestinal flora got wiped, replaced by candida (yeast) that is constantly craving sugar and I am its stupid host listening and obliging. Sounds scary right?
2) Because we didn't have a lot of sweets around the house, I knew it must be "bad for me" and so I went overboard with it in rebellion eventually becoming hooked on the stuff.
3) The psychological factor. Perhaps I crave more "sweet" in my life: touching, hugging, kissing, kind words, holding hands, playfulness, forgiveness, compassion, smiles...you know...the SWEET stuff. Sooo, instead of seeking that, chocolate and cookies are a much quicker "fix".

Cravings. Hooked. Fix. Habit...Sounds like I am a drug addict-right? Well kind of. If I am going to overindulge in something, it is going to be sweets. And since my arrival in Moldova, I completely let my guard down in this area. New place, new faces, wanting comfort: COOKIES. Tired from travel and learning a new language: COFFEE. Missing friends and family, hugs and smiles (not exactly handed out in this parts): CHOCOLATE.

After a good six months of this behavior, I finally hit a wall. Around the holidays I started to develop some awful stomach aches. If I didn't eat, if I did eat, if I ate cookies, if I ate veggies...everything was painful. My body was speaking to me: "JULIE!!! Enough is enough!" And thankfully I (finally) listened. After almost two weeks of successfully cutting out flour, white sugar, chocolate and coffee, I am on the road to much better digestion. Trust me, there is no way to say goodbye to things like chocolate and coffee forever, but they will stay on my "treat" list where they belong.

-----

A little over a year ago I posted a short and easy 3 Day Detox that I love but many of the ingredients just don't exist in Moldova. (Note to self, work on Moldovan version). And not too far along after that, I posted again about alignment and about my relationship to food, but this time as a proclamation that I was moving away from talking about it. I was burnt out. I stated, "I know all I need to know". Hahahaha...how I laugh now. The truth is I do know what to eat to be healthy. What I didn't approach was how to go about doing that. I knew I was headed for some health challenges in joining the Peace Corps and moving to a foreign land. I knew I would need to adjust my diet. But what I didn't see was that it wouldn't be the microbes and the bad food that would get me, it would be my own choices that would.

Of course I should be a little easy on myself and understand that stress and yes, the microbes, do make health matters more challenging (oh and -7 degree weather! brrrr). But I guess what I am getting at is, I am BACK into food. Now that I have some healing to do, I am on the internet looking for gluten-free recipes and am full of new ideas for yummy creations that don't require added sugar or flour. Sunflowers are one of Moldova's biggest crops, so here is to explorations in the world of sunflower seed flour! I think I will start with these. I will report back on my progress. Here's to continued learning, and to the JOY OF HEALTH. It is so sweet!

Om tat sat.

Notes on Moldova

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Reveries of Disillusioned Enchantment

2012-02-08 14:12:06

In Moldova, unlike America, pratically strangers are not afraid to tell you that you’ve got a hair in your mouth and food on your face, one of your pant legs is rolled up incorrectly, your jacket sleeve is touching the floor, you need a haircut and you’re not wearing a hat on your head when it’s cold out. Thank you Moldova for keeping me on top of things.

"[I]n all countries in Eastern Europe and the former Soviet Union, economic activity ...

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Reveries of Disillusioned Enchantment

2012-02-08 13:31:54

“[I]n all countries in Eastern Europe and the former Soviet Union, economic activity shrunk at the beginning of transition, in some very sharply. In many countries, economic decline started earlier, but still continued. In Russia, the steepness and the length of the decline (almost a decade) was a big surprise. … The main lesson of this experience is for reformers not to count on an immediate return to growth. Economic transformation takes time.”

- Andrei Shleifer, a Russian-born, American-educated economist, offers seven lessons of transition from communism to capitalism. Patience being one of them.

Super Bowl - Moldovan Style

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Spreading some peace...

2012-02-07 20:33:00

Why do I watch the Super Bowl? The overpaid athletes in a contest I couldn't care less about? Nope. Commercials? Eh, they're all right. Halftime show? Usually hit or miss. The food? That'd be the one. so how were we going to make that happen here?
Simple. Lindsay and Conrad had Jessica, Lyndsey and I over and we did what we could. Chili, nachos and hot wings.
Chili...Lindsay is a vegetarian so we made a pot of very spicy vegetarian chili. Since I refuse to eat 'fake' meat, we made it with beans and vegetables. I have to say? Wasn't too bad.
Nachos. Tortilla chips aren't easy to find here so we usually either roast pitas or find the rare bag. On this day we were lucky and found some. we covered them with beans, hot peppers, scallions, avocados (another rare find) and sour cream. Success!

Nachos!

Chicken wings and homemade blue cheese.

Hot Wings. Luckily found some chicken wings at the market and cut them into pieces. Whipped up a hot wing recipe with some Sriracha sauce, ketchup, salt, pepper, garlic, onions and some Coke. (I know it's weird, but it was a Brother Bob suggestion and how do I question him?) It was delicious. Made some homemade blue cheese with crumbled blue cheese, sour cream, mayonnaise, Worcestershire sauce, garlic, sugar and salt. Delish! Success #2! People were pleased with the results and finally it felt like Super Bowl Sunday. Problem was...with the time difference? The game started here at 1am! Luckily, some resourceful volunteers found a sports bar open 24 hours a day and had them satellite in the game. (Is satellite a verb?) By the time 1am rolled around, we were all pretty tired but hey; once in a lifetime, right? So we trudged through the snow over to the bar. The boys paused for a moment to have a snowball fight in the middle of Chisinau. Boys will be boys.

Matt, Conrad and John in a snowball fight.

There were about 40 volunteers there and we watched the game. I am thankful it was an exciting game because at least it kept us awake.

Volunteers watching the game.

Madonna was the halftime act, and (sorry, Mom) I thought she was fantastic. Halftime shows are very polarizing I have learned. When people sing live, they are torn apart for how horrible they sound. I mean they throw up a stage in ten minutes and they're supposed to conquer the acoustics in that time with no sound check? When people do not sing loud and concentrate more on the performance aspect of it, they are criticized. We can't have it both ways people. Madonna, never been the best 'singer' in my opinion, but she sure can put on a show. Was I entertained? Yes. Did I need anything more than that at 2:30am for 15 minutes of my life? Nope. Success. Well done, Madge.
The end of the game was fun. I'm not a Giants fan by any stretch of the imagination, but I do enjoy watching Tom Brady and the Patriots get beat. But by 5:00am we were all ready to get going home. Especially these two...

John and Conrad at the end of a long night.

We all felt it the next day. None of us are 18 anymore and an all night party just isn't in us anymore. However, it was worth it, if for the food alone.
Sidebar, if you notice typing errors in this blog, please let me know so I can correct them. I do not claim to be infallible but as I write these posts usually in the middle of the night, I cannot capture all of the errors with my tired eyes. I make mistakes and I'll own them.

The moon

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova A Kansas City gal in Moldova

2012-02-07 16:02:00

There is something about a rising moon on a perfectly clear evening that takes my breath away. Tonight I stepped outside to go buy some water and I saw the moon just barely peeking over the horizon. It was almost transparent and a light shade of pink; blending in with the light shade of purple that was the sky. It was so beautiful that I just stood there for a minute... watching it rise. As I walked the 2 minutes to the store I forgot about it (short term memory loss, ADD, the cold, I don't know...) and when I came out, it caught my eye again: this time as a bright orange ball. The snow of the last 4 days and the sun of today brought such fresh air to our village and clear skies that I felt I could see every nook and cranny on this full moon. Again, I stood there for a minute... looking quite silly, I'm sure, to the men standing in the street. But I didn't care. It was beautiful... so beautiful, that I looked back over my shoulder every couple of steps to catch another glimpse on my way home.

Photographing the moon is something I have not been able to do properly. I think it is because I need a different lens, but this is the best I got for tonight... just know it does NOT do it justice!!

White Winter

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Pieces of Peace

2012-02-07 09:23:00

A blanket of snow has covered Nisporeni.

It is cold.

It is winter.

My bed looks warm and inviting.

Good Nigh...Zzzzz

Care ghiveci vreau sā maninc?

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Embarkations

2012-02-06 19:01:00

Translation: which ghiveci should I eat? (Ghiveci is pronounced like kvetch but with a g instead of k.)

My host mom just told me to go down to the beci (root-cellar) and choose a ghiveci for lunch. This is always a job I love, because normally I just end up choosing my favorite.

This is a section of our basement, with all its wonderful assortment of ghiveci, compote, and every kind of fruit preserve imaginable. Did I mention this is only a section of the basement? And winter is more already half over at this point.

Ghiveci, by the way, is a kind of preserved and canned (and maybe fermented?) vegetable salad. My dictionary says the English equivalent is hotchpotch, but I have absolutely no idea what that is nor have I ever heard it before. So, per Peace Corps custom re: words/concepts we have never heard before our service, I will continue to simply call it ghiveci. (This also goes for things that are so specifically Moldovan that the English word just seems inappropriate. In Peace Corps lingo, the market will always be the piața, and the speeding death traps mini-buses will always be a rutiera. English rules of pluralization and declension still apply.)

This is the ghiveci I ended up choosing. It's my favorite, a peppery mix of eggplant, onion, and carrots. MMM!

Today's Gym Adventure

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Kiddo says Hello.

2012-02-06 13:57:00

Middle aged ladies on a walk date. One is late because a kid had a sore throat. One is late because she has a sore throat, and we all know that you're about to come down with typhoid if your throat is parched from mouth breathing all night.

They also called in maintenance to complain about the smell in the gym. Apparently, it was like “vomit,” but I'd be running for 15 minutes at this point after a 10 minute warm up, and well, I guess my nasal passages are just out of touch.

In the past I would have disdained these women. In the past I'd have ignored them, let their story about a puking 9-yr-old and carpooling roll right by me. I'd come up out of the situation like a mermaid surfacing to clear, interesting conversation.

I am trying to be a better person, and see the relevance of their lack of pancakes yesterday morning. I decided good people do that. Give other people chances. Give the benefit of the doubt that perhaps they are an undercover spy and are suffocating. Perhaps I can relieve their bordom with sprightly and inspiring spontaneity. Maybe they really are interested in war, and ancient mosaics, or how magnets work.

It could be worth it to find out, right?

Destiny

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova A Kansas City gal in Moldova

2012-02-05 18:06:00

In high school I had a group of friends that were all very intelligent and they knew exactly what they wanted to go to college for, and they did just that. Me, on the other hand? Well, I was all over the board. I wanted to be a teacher, then a photojournalist, then a photographer. I hadn’t a clue. But they voted me as “the one the most likely to get married first”. Considering I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life I guess that made sense (plus, I supposed I always talked about it. Oh, wait. That hasn’t really changed). At that time I never thought much about traveling and exactly what my future might hold, until I was asked by teachers in the art department of my school to join them and other students on a trip to Paris. That 6 day trip (in which I lost my passport so then spent 2 of those days in the Embassy and 2 more traveling) forever changed me. While many of my classmates are now married (or not married) and have babies on the way or a couple in diapers, I’ve chosen a different path. A different destiny, if you will. Unlike my friends who all knew they wanted to be in the medical field and classmates who chose to settle and raise a family, I’ve chosen to travel. But that doesn’t ever seem to really stop me from asking “what if”.

Grey’s Anatomy is a television show that these same friends got me hooked on watching. As any Grey’s fan would say, “the first couple of seasons were great. They should have stopped while they were ahead,” however, that doesn’t keep me from watching it. Today I tuned in to a new episode after watching the newest episode of Glee. My dad sent me a quote a few days ago from Susan L. Taylor: Thoughts are energy, and you can make your world or break your world by your thinking. Well, maybe my thoughts told me I needed to download these shows and watch them in the order that I did today because it just, well, clicked. I’ll begin with Grey’s since that is how I began this. If you haven’t watched an episode before I’ll key you in to this: it’s just drama, drama, drama. But that’s what we all love, right? So anyways, in this episode, it begins with Meredith, the main character, holding her adopted baby from Africa. As with every episode, we see one thing happening and we hear her voice speaking over what is going on. Whatever she begins with saying is a prelude to what the episode is going to be about (usually rather deep thoughts) and then the episode ends with her concluding thoughts. Today it was this: The baby you have is the baby you were destined to have. It was meant to be. That’s what all of the adoption people tell you. Anyways I like to think it’s true. But everything else in the world seems so completely random. What if one little thing I said or did could have made it all fall apart. What if I’d chosen another life for myself. Or another person. We might have never found each other. What if I’d been raised differently? What if my mother had never been sick? What if I’d actually had a good father. What if. What if. What if.

Hm. Wow. Just think about that for a minute. Done thinking? Yea, I’m not either but I’m going on anyways. The rest of the episode plays out as if things had been different; if her mother hadn’t had that disease that makes you forget things and died, if her father hadn’t been absent, if her current husband had stuck with his ex wife, if her current best friend was her enemy, etc. It was all of the stories put together of how the relationships between the characters on the show were presented- which of course, because it’s about drama, didn’t even come close to ending that way. For the first 20 or so minutes, everything looks perfect. The people that we thought were supposed to be together were together, pregnant or with kids already, and happy. Everyone was happy and everything looked great. But then the truth was revealed that the baby Shepard is pregnant with is really not her husband’s kid, but instead that of his best friend… and this, that, and the other. In the end of the episode, it seemed that the flaws we now know of with these people were still their flaws; even though they had made different life decisions. And when these flaws came out, the “destiny” of the person ended up being the same as we know it is today. One of the doctors says this which I think sums it all up: Some things are going to work out as if they were destined to happen; and some as if they were just meant to be.

You see, we all want things in our lives. We want happiness, we want this spouse, we want this car, we want this job, we want to live in this place, etc. But if anyone else there is like me (and I’m sure you are), we wonder “what if”. In my life in particular, I often wonder what my life would have been like if my mom hadn’t died. What if she was still alive… would I have found my love for photography, traveled to France in high school, gone to KU, had the friends that I had, and then come to Moldova or would I still be living in the suburbs of Kansas City, married, and working in an office? What if I had been accepted to Teach for America… would I still have filled out the application for the Peace Corps… just to see? What if I cut ties back when I was first questioning things… would I have the relationship with my host family that I do now? What if. What if. What if.

While I can’t stop all of these thoughts (and the thousands more that came with that) from happening, I can try to control them. Wondering “what if” really isn’t going to do anyone any good because, as they later said in the show, “we make our own destiny”. And, I strongly agree with this although we don’t necessarily realize it at the time it is happening. One never knows what is waiting around the corner… so why not go and find it out for himself. While I may not necessarily choose who I meet and when I meet them or when opportunities are going to arise, I can begin by making good decisions. Because I can’t go back and change things there is not a point in wondering “what if”. Some things are going to work out because they were meant to be, and others because they’re destiny. But I’ll never know which is which and, well, it is what it is. It’s up to me to move forward and focus on now instead of wondering “what if”.

Which brings me quickly to Glee. The quote that got my head racing: you can't change your past but you can let go and start your future.

I’m really not going to comment on that because I feel like it speaks for itself.

At the end of the day, all I can say is this. Five years ago and I had no idea how many changes I was going to go through that year, let alone proceeding 5. Heck, I didn’t even know Moldova existed and I thought Spain was north of France. I do not know what my future holds for me (even though a couple of Roma fortune-telling women seem to think otherwise). I cannot tell you (or myself) why I’ve made some of the decisions I’ve made in my life or why things happen the way they do. But, regardless, they do. The last 20 months of living in Moldova has changed me in ways that I didn’t even know possible, and quite frankly, I didn’t even know needed changed. It doesn’t matter what got me here; what matters is I’m here and I’m happy I’m here. Something about my being here was meant to be so it could shape my destiny- whatever that may be. And you know what? I’m 100% (ok, 99%) all right with that… at least right now.

Also, I wanted to end this post with a photo of the snow from today but I just looked at them and it doesn't even do close to justice for the amount of snow that is now on the ground. Unbelievable.

Moldovan economics

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova MOLDOVA

2012-02-04 18:09:31

So, I haven’t mentioned yet, about three weeks ago, I started taking Microeconomic Principles online through our community college network in Arizona. Basically, as I’m looking at graduate programs that I plan to apply to this year, many of them strongly recommend applicants to have taken both micro and macro economics, along with some additional [...]

Hitchhiking Episode 2

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Reveries of Disillusioned Enchantment

2012-02-04 14:13:57

One reason I love hitchhiking in Moldova is the people you get to meet. This morning, I was pretty unhappy after walking through ice and snow to get to the gara only to find out that the 1:00 bus I was supposed to take to the capital broke down and the next one wasn’t coming for another 2 hours. Hitchhiking at that point just seemed like the only option. Well, I ended up waiting in the snow so long that my water bottle contents froze. After getting a ride with this man who seemed to really enjoy talking with an American for five minutes, he dropped me off before he had to turn towards a city in the other direction. I started to get pretty worried when no cars drove by for about 20 minutes. After what seemed like forever, a car with three guys in their 20s stopped and told me to hop in. While usually, getting in the car with 3 Moldovan men should make you a little wary, it turned out to be the best decision. For the next hour we talked about life in Moldova, where it was heading, the relationships between guys and girls as well as between older and younger generations, living abroad and working to improve the country. The car was so warm. I even arrived in less time than it would have taken with the bus AND got dropped off at the front door of Peace Corps. What made it even better was I didn’t have to pay for any of it. Not a single dime. Success!

Brrrrrrrrrrrr

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Reveries of Disillusioned Enchantment

2012-02-04 08:26:51

It is cold in Moldova right now. And I mean really cold. And the country has pretty much shut itself down. While all of you East Coasters revel in your warm February temperatures right now, I’m freezing my ass off with temperatures in the negative degrees. I’m so cold, it’s almost impossible to get out of under my warm blanket in the morning. If only my electric blanket didn’t blow up and burn a hole in my bed, I think I would be a little warmer right now. I’m luckier than others in that I have hot running water and a gas heated apartment but it doesn’t mean it actually stays warm. I’ve been wearing scarves and gloves to bed which is not as bad as some friends who have to wear jackets and wrap themselves up in heavy sleeping bags. I completely understand the increase in drinking in Moldova during the winter months because it is about the only thing that’s going to get you warmer. My first host mom in Rezina would always make sure I took 50 grams of vodka before I left the house on cold days. I thought it was pretty crazy at the time but now I would surely welcome it.

The last couple days of school have been affected by the cold as well. The younger classes (1st grade through 4th grade) were all canceled and the remaining classes were only 30 minutes long. I’m not complaining but it does make it hard to walk the 30 minutes to work just to be there for a couple of hours, knowing that I’ll be freezing the whole time. While the school is heated, like my apartment, it does not stay warm and I often have to teach in my huge down jacket and gloves.

I was with a student yesterday and we were practicing some English. I was trying to talk about what his goals were in life, what he wants to do after graduation and what he likes to do in his free time. He kept answering with ‘I don’t know’ or ‘nothing’. When I kept pushing for better answers, he just said ‘I’m sorry, I’m a pessimist’. After further prodding he goes ‘Well I’m just a pessimist now, ask me when it gets warmer and I’ll have much more optimistic answers.’. I think that’s the consensus right now for PCVs and Moldovans alike. We’re cold, tired, miserable and in some serious need of some sun. There’s not much to do but drink and watch tv when it’s too cold to go outside and it still gets dark pretty early. I wish outdoor winter activities such skiing, skating, ice-fishing, sledding, etc. were not such a luxury for many and were more readily available because there’s not much to do these days in Moldova except to eat, drink and watch TV.

This next week has temperatures above freezing for only 1 or 2 days.

Ugh. I can’t wait for summer.

Winter vacation summary.

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova vorbiţi româneşte?

2012-02-03 21:34:06

Because we knew this would happen, my friend Rachel and I kept a log of our trip in bullet point fashion during the many hours we were waiting for planes, buses, or trains. And now, because the thought of recounting everything that happened during those two weeks is so daunting, I’m just going to relay [...]

Is it better there?

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova MOLDOVA

2012-02-03 18:12:50

I get this question a lot when I meet people and tell them I’m from the States. “Is it better there?” they ask me. How does one answer that? I usually spit out something like, “Oh, I don’t know…it’s hard to say…it depends on the person…there are many different aspects…life is hard everywhere.” And it’s [...]

Self Improvement

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Kiddo says Hello.

2012-02-03 16:50:00

Everyday is another Pollyanna/Lil Orphan Annie opportunity to become a better person, in some way. Either you help a blind person across a street, listen to someone complain, learn some new vocab, edit a resume, apply to a new job, drill holes somewhere, try hoola hooping for the first time, discipline your dog in a loving, gentle way, experiment with a new recipe, read a book... whatever. Well, I do half a dozen distinct self improvement things everyday, and I don't want to today.

Sitting at my new desk in the new basement looking at a gorgeous piece of Klimt art, and then my sketches for the painting to be replicated on the back of my door, and my guitar, all the collage cards I need to send out, the book I just finished, the millions of Monster.com responses I have two hours to respond to, the power drill on my floor, the endless more books to read, and I come up with three tears and three words like any good three year old might:

I don't wanna.

How much positive movement forward can we force out of ourselves before we need a black out day? It must be one of those things that requires inertia and desire. It probably depends on the person. Scratch that, it definitely depends on the person.

But, what are the reasons for breaking down? Smoothie had a breakdown apparently. Not too big, not that she couldn't easily recover from within an hour or two, but it was unexpected. What are the pressures that go into a person, and what are the devices in them that digest these pressures and relieve them to non-toxic levels?

Like always I am full of questions and short on answers. But, it shows forward movement that I've defined the questions, right? Now I can form a hypothesis and get on with the betterment.

Yes!

A climate controlled life

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova And so it begins...

2012-02-02 20:00:00

I remember a time, not long ago, when I could push one button and turn one dial to read '74' and my comfort level would be magically regulated by the wonders of technology. I can think of very few moments in Moldova where I actually felt comfortable (as it pertains to temperature). The summer was terribly hot and even when we had a classroom with air conditioning, it blew right on me and made me cold. I found it hard to sleep in the heat and even had to resort to sleeping pills to finally get some rest. The heat endured on public transportation left us standing on the side of the road checking each other's backsides for sweat stains and water nearly boiled before we had time to drink it. We could have lessened the severity of some of these situations if only we were afforded cross ventilation. If you haven't learned yet, you should know that somewhere in the depths of Eastern European wives tales lies the belief that a breeze or a.k.a., a current, can make you sick. I don't know the history or validity of this belief but what I do know is that on a 100 degree bus, packed beyond capacity, I'll take my changes in getting sick.

Then came fall and more mild and tolerable temperatures. I started my new life in the village and quickly learned that my bedroom, despite the 80 degree temperature outside, my room maintained a temperature likely to be in the low 60's. I had to come in from the heat and after the first 5 minutes of delight, quickly put on sweatpants and a sweatshirt and even sometimes a hat. If only I was in this house during the sweltering summer, I would have slept much better.

And then came winter...or what I thought was winter. Temperatures in the 30's and 40's called for the utilization of thermal base layers but the fireplace (soba) that warms my room did it's job and I was somewhat comfortable. Not entirely comfortable because I have to get fully clothed just to go outside to go to the bathroom and to go into the other house to eat dinner or access the refrigerator and other household "amenities." I remember being told by last year's group of volunteers that I'll never be as cold as I'll be in Moldova and I wasn't quite sure why they were being so dramatic. Yes, it was cold. Sometimes I have to keep my coat on at work and I'm in desperate need of fingerless gloves but it's tolerable.

And then last week began...

I learned rather quickly what those volunteers were talking about. It's currently zero degrees outside. That is NOT a typo...it's zero degrees and with the windchill, it feels like -13 degrees. Now you'll probably find it hard to imagine what -13 degrees even feels like and the only way I can describe it is by saying that your face and feet go numb, your eyes tear up, and you lose all desire to be outside. Now keep in mind, life in a rural village requires you to be outside far more than required in America. In America, you can warm your car up while you finish breakfast, drive in your warm car, quickly run into work or the store and only spend a matter of minutes outside. In Moldova, and particularly in the life of a Peace Corps volunteer who isn't allowed to drive, you have to walk everywhere. You have to walk to buy water or to go to work. You have to walk outside just to use the bathroom and I'd like to challenge any of you to drop your pants outside when it's -13 degrees! Today I fetched wood on three different occasions to keep my soba blazing. It took several hours for my feet to thaw out. And not long after I finally start to feel comfortable in my room, I become hot. So hot that I begin to shed layers that protected me from frosty misery, only hours before. But despite how hot I've become, I have to keep the soba blazing so it will hopefully remain warm throughout the night. But it won't. I'll toss and turn under my covers, trying to sleep despite the heat. At that point I'll be down to some capri leggings and a t-shirt, only to be woken up several hours later, desperately scrambling for my wool socks and long johns. I'll enjoy a few more hours of sleep before waking up and covering everything except my mouth and nose in order to protect me from my cold room. I'm not exactly sure how cold it is in the morning but my breath is visible and the room right next to mine was cold enough to freeze a block of cheese, humus, and yogurt the other night.

I remember when our air conditioning broke during the hottest week of the summer, before coming to Moldova. It was 93 degrees in our apartment and I kept telling myself that it was preparing me for Peace Corps. The difference is that we knew it would only be a few days...or a week, as it turned out to be, before we could live comfortably again. But here in Moldova, I very rarely seem to be at a comfortable temperature. If I'm not too hot, I'm too cold and the actual season seems to be somewhat irrelevant. As I shed another layer of clothing, I'll remind everyone in America (public transportation users excluded) that having to run from your car to a heated building isn't really all that bad.

The current forecast

The third and smallest stack of wood for the day

My blazing fire...thankfully I've had years of camping to sharpen my skills

January

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Spreading some peace...

2012-02-02 10:41:00

Didn't realize how long it's been since I wrote on here. That's just a sample of how January sucks the life out of you. I know I'm not in a unique situation when I say that it's freaking cold! Today it is -9 F. W...T...F! I haven't felt this kind of cold in a very long time. People just stay at home. Schools are closed, businesses have signs on them 'closed for cold.' They just don't have the type of heating that can sustain in this cold for 8-12 hours a day. It's too expensive. It's a strange world.
This month has been the usual January, post vacation, a little blue trying to get back into the swing of things. My work partner, Vica, has been preparing for a month in Romania where she got a scholarship. Her husband, Oleg, got one too in Bulgaria so he needed a crash course in English. Vica's English is pretty good, but Oleg didn't speak a word. I spent most of the month trying to help him out so that he could at least have a basic understanding to get by. Can you imagine? I have been trying to learn 'basic Russian' for the past month and I still can't hold a conversation.
So this past week, we had our 'Partner Conference' in which me and Vica, as well as the rest of the COD (Community Organization and Development) and ARBD (Agriculture and Rural Business Development) volunteers had to attend a conference in Chisinau where we learned about creating projects, writing grants, etc. It was dismaying to learn that the two groups were staying in two different hotels as we love to hang out with the ARBD's but I'm sure they separated us for a reason, after all, our work partners were with us. Lyndsey, Jessica and I came up a day early so we could hang out at Lindsay and Conrad's house and catch up for a night before we went 'back to school' for three days.
We arrived at our hotel on Wednesday the 26th and began the conference right away. There are 12 COD volunteers and about 9 of them had their work partners with them. It wasn't a huge group and it was actually information that we needed. At the end of the first day, the group of us went out for dinner. It was so pleasant catching up with each other and enjoying each other's company. We went back to the hotel and hung out in one hotel room and just had some wine and enjoyed each other's company. I kept looking around the room and thinking how just a little while ago that these people were strangers to me and now they were just family. We were all rotating our seats in the room so we could all catch up individually and it just felt very homey and cozy. It made me really happy.
The next day was a long one as we had the seminar from 8am to 5pm. But, it did provide many helpful tools to start diving into projects with our organizations. Also, since Vica is usually so busy, it was nice to have her undivided attention. She even mentioned that it was nice to be just the two of us so we could actually discuss important things. After the seminar, Jessica, Courtney and I made plans to go to the opera in Chisinau. I had heard that they did a good job there and it happened that "Nabucco" by Verdi was playing that night. We decided to bring our partners with us and we headed there.

The Opera House itself was really beautiful complete with marble stairs which when covered with snow provided opportunity for Jessica to slip and me to fall on my ass. The opera was fantastic. It was so nice to have some culture and see people on stage. It was sung in Italian and there were Romanian 'subtitles' on an electronic screen above the stage. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. A strange thing, at the curtain call when the actors come out for their bow, everyone claps in unison. It's not generic applause, it's a synchronized clap. I was really thrown off by it. In talking with some other people, I learned it is a European thing, but it felt very strange. I wondered if it was some leftover Soviet thing where everyone conforms to one clap but I may be over analyzing. We left the opera and Lyndsey text me that the rest of the volunteers were at a nearby bar saying goodbye to Joseph and Ashley, two volunteers who had chosen to ET. (Early Terminate). I decided to head to the bar to catch up with them and the rest of the ARBD's as I figured it'd probably be my only chance to see them. Despite the sadness that Joseph and Ashley were leaving, it was so fun to see all the guys. I'm always at my highest comfort level when I'm surrounded by guys. I blame my brothers for that. John, Jeremy and I were planning our upcoming excursion to the Ukraine (more on that later) and Pat, my musical theatre compadre and I kept breaking into show tunes. Conrad didn't seem too happy about it. He so rarely gets to be in the company of 'guys' and when he does, I get them singing show tunes. We had a good time though.

John, Chris and Conrad

Pat and John

My two besties, Jeremy and John.

The next day was a shorter day at the conference but Jeffrey (the country director) was the first speaker so we all had to be on time and attentive. Thankfully, he is a skillful public speaker and it was easy to keep focused. I had to say goodbye to Vica as she was leaving the conference and going to Romania and I wouldn't see her to March. Overall, I think it was a good training and it was so damn good to see everybody.

From the back, Michael, Conrad, Jesse, Me, Andrea, Lindsay, Maria, Jessica, Courtney, Jen, Lyndsey and Tom in front.

From there, a few of us were going back to Lindsay and Conrad's house to hang out. The boys, Jeremy and John, were going to say goodbye to Joseph and they were going to meet me there later as we were going to the UKRAINE! When in my life did I ever think I'd say that?

Courtney, Jessica, Lyndsey and I hung out while we made dinner at Conrad and Lindsay's. We made some fajitas and had a good time. Jeremy and John showed up about 10 and hung out with us. Our bus was at midnight so we left the house about 11:00pm. So why were we going to the Ukraine? Well, Jeremy and John had yet to take any vacation time and they were both at the point where they just needed to get away for a few days. They suggested the city of Odessa, Ukraine which is probably most famous for the scene in "Battleship Potemkin." It is a port city on the Black Sea and about a 5 hour bus ride from us. It's in the middle of the winter and it is a beach town so we got a lot of flak for going and to be honest, when they suggested it, I never thought they would go so I agreed. Yet there I was, boarding a bus with them. There were few people on the bus as the Ukraine isn't exactly a popular tourist destination in late January. We rode through the night, crossed the border without a problem and arrived in Odessa at 5:00am. The bus dropped us off, it was FREEZING, and the cabdriver we found only spoke Russian. It was tense for a few minutes but somehow we managed to convey to him where we wanted to go. Thankfully, John had converted some money before he left Moldova so we could pay him in the Ukraine currency. We had to do a little bit of searching to find our hostel as the front door was a little hidden from construction but we found it. They let us in and check in wasn't until 11 but they let us crash on the couches in the lobby.

We all passed out. We awoke to the sound of "I know these guys!!!" We were all still really sleepy but when we came to, we saw Chris (another ARBD) volunteer standing there. We were stunned. We had vaguely mentioned this trip to him and told him where we were staying but never thought he would actually show. But he did. The owner of the hostel was an American and he loved having Peace Corps volunteers so he gave us a discount. And showed us around the place and the full kitchen. It was a really cool place. Jeremy was tired so he went back to bed while we checked in. Chris was hungry, as we all were, so Chris, John and I went out to breakfast/lunch at a Mexican place. The food wasn't totally Mexican but it was still really good. From there we decided to walk around the city. It was a pretty cool city. I tried to teach them as much of the Russian alphabet as possible so we spent the day trying to sound out words on buildings. A lot of them were conjugates so we could usually figure out what things were. The city is really cool and clean and since it was cold, pretty empty.

John and Chris

Cold weather doesn't stop Ukranian Park Chess

John at the bottom of the Potemkin Stairs.

The Black Sea

The Odessa Opera House

Somehow, still don't know how, Jeremy found us and we had a drink at a bar called "Fat Moses." It was a cool little place and I ordered 4 Irish Shots (Baileys/Jameson/Absinthe) for us and we did a toast to my Dad for his 75th Birthday. It was great. From there we headed to a big sushi dinner. Sushi was probably the main reason we chose to get out of Moldova for the weekend. I haven't had sushi, or even fish, for the better part of a year so we were all salivating when the waitress set down the huge platter in front of us. We scarfed it down with no regrets. Being right on the Black Sea, the fish was incredibly fresh and it was delicious. I was so happy.
We were pretty tired and John and I were actually thinking about calling it a night since we really hadn't slept. But Chris insisted that we keep the night going. And how does he convince a tired Jenn to stay out? Two words; karaoke bar! It was a cool little place down in a basement and we were pretty much the only ones there as it was still early. We perused the karaoke book and the selection was huge. They had every single song I could think of. I'd been wanting to go to karaoke for a long time and had been talking a lot of smack with Chris about it since he claimed that he was a great karaoker. So I knew I was going to be called out on it and I had to deliver. We had some drinks and Chris got right up and performed. The place had gotten more crowded and was filling up with really good singers so I had to give him credit. He did a good job but now the gauntlet was thrown. It was time to access the room. I don't consider myself a 'great' singer but I can carry a tune. The room seemed to be the kind of a crowd that wanted to dance. So I chose "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga. There are moments in your life when you have to put up or shut up and I had to stand up and do my best and show these boys that this was something that I can actually do. Mission accomplished. Everyone got up and danced, hooted and hollered and the boys all danced around me. At the end? Thunderous applause. (Not even in sync). It was a great moment in my life. How often do I talk smack about something and then deliver?

There was some drinking.

And some dancing...

Chris performs "Doctor, My Eyes" by Jackson Browne.

John and Jeremy...the white man overbite.

I sing "Bad Romance." Apparently so good it hurt!

Friends in Low Places...indeed.

After the initial performance, it was way easier. Chris sang another song and I sang two more. Jeremy and John finished the night by dueting to "Friends in Low Places" and needless to say, we left shortly after that. It was about 3am and we had to walk in the cold back to our hostel. We got a little lost and ended up at McDonalds. Since the restaurant was closed we had to walk through the drive through and wound up having conversations with random Ukranians while standing in the drive through eating Cheeseburgers. It was strange but really fun. We got back to the hostel to sleep about 5am. (I am so not 20 anymore...)

The next morning, however, I was up and fine and the three boys were suffering. I made them coffee and got them all aspirin and water. Lame! Chris had to take off as he was only coming for the night so we all went out to breakfast at this really cool Ukranian restaurant. The food was delicious and we said goodbye to Chris. John, Jeremy and I walked around the city some more. We ended up back at the water because we wanted to get closer but it was so frigid on the pier, we wound up hanging out in the transportation lobby just to try and thaw out. However, the hour we spent in there laughing and just being silly was probably one of the best times we had. We were at the bottom of the steps so we had to get back up them and head back to the hostel. It was a really nice afternoon. Back at the hostel, we got a recommendation for a Thai place for dinner so we headed there and had some great Thai. We spotted a Blues Bar on the way home and went in there to listen to some live music. It was so pleasant. When we got back to the hostel, we were pretty tired so we watched some stuff on the computer and all went to bed.

Chris and I at breakfast.

A demonstration we walked by.

Finding Dr. Pepper in a store was one of my favorite moments.

The two navigators.

The three of us in the window reflection.

These guys...

They do love each other...it's creepy.

John and I at the Blues Bar.

The next morning we had to find a bus back to Moldova. Since it had begun snowing, we quickly discovered this would be more of a challenge than we had anticipated. With our limited Russian and negotiating skills it took us about 3 hours to figure out a way back. We finally found a bus to a village in Moldova called Stefan-Voda. The driver told us from there he could get us to Chisinau. We jumped at the chance.

John and I at the bus station.

Moldovan Leu and Ukranian...something...

Jeremy sleeping on the ride back.

Back to Moldova

We watched the Hangover 2, in Russian, on the bus ride back but we mostly chatted, well Jeremy slept, John and I chatted. We got back to Chisinau and wound up staying with Lindsay and Conrad because we were too late to catch any buses back to our villages.

What I did learn is that these guys are such decent people. Jeremy and John are two of my best friends. I always felt 100% safe with them and yet I can laugh with them for hours at the absolute stupidest things. Chris, I'm just getting to know but he is the real deal. Genuine, sweet, caring, smart and hilarious. It was just a small little weekend away but I'm so glad that I did it. I never in a million years thought I would visit the Ukraine and I did and it is so beautiful. I met John and Jeremy back in July at the Team Building exercise and knew then that they were my Bees (ring a bell?) but I couldn't be happier that 6 months later they are lifelong friends. I'm a lucky, lucky girl. I hope that shows in the smile on my face.

Laughing till she cries

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova A Kansas City gal in Moldova

2012-02-01 17:10:00

If you've been reading my blog since sometime around August 2010 and March 2011, you probably know how hard it was for me to adjust to my host family. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm glad because now it is a completely different story. As much as I can't wait for June, trust me when I say leaving my host family is going to be the hardest part of these two years in Moldova. Ok, moving on because I'm already teary-eyed; which is not what I meant by the title of this post. Well, not really.

The daily knock on my window around 6pm meant it was time for dinner. I walked the 7 seconds to the casa mica where my host family lives and cooks, and when I entered, my host dad was sleeping so I tried to be quiet. My host mom didn't care that he was sleeping because it was time to eat- and the mamaliga was going to get cold (and it's not good when it's cold) so he needed to get up anyways... so she broke the ice and asked if I was cold. "Yes, yes I am" I said, because it's freaking cold out there! As my host dad started to get up, he was "ouf, ouf, ouuuufffff" ing because apparently his leg is really hurting him today (I didn't know this was a problem). When he made it the 2 steps from the bed to the table, he had a hard time sitting down. Once he sat, he had a hard time sitting. So then he stood up (with my host mom laughing at him this whole time). At one point when he was standing up, he bent down to pick up some mamaliga and cheese crumbs that had fallen to the floor. As he did this, it looked like he was a ballerina so I asked him if he was one (yes, I do bring jokes. Sometimes. And really, I think only my host mom appreciates them because she's the only one that ever laughs. No one else seems to get them- in English or Romanian). This then caused him to laugh (once he got it) but my host mom was way ahead of him- so far ahead, in fact, that it almost brought her to tears. My host dad then added to the humor in sticking his leg back as if he was dancing, and then when he came back in from stepping outside for a couple of minutes, he stood next to the soba and did a table-top bend/move/dance-thing-whatever-the-technical-term-is-I-don't-know. He's a funny one!

Tonight we laughed till we cried. Yea, I'm going to miss this. Ouf, ouf, ouuuffff.

Technique 8: PEACE! (Or, Second Chances)

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova The Simble Life

2012-02-01 09:47:00

Swami Vishnudevananda, who started the ashram where I did my yoga teacher training had a famous saying, "Health is Wealth, Peace of Mind is Happiness". When I first heard those words, I knew I had found myself in the right place. I have always been on the trail for how to feel the best in my body and in my life. I could remember being very young and having so much energy that people would have to literally hold me down. And then I got mono at age 13. I haven't physically been the same since really. So it's been a quest for that true wealth I remembered feeling as a vibrant and clear human. Now I can reflect and say that being hit with an immune-crushing case of mono was something, but it was also that age: 13. I was just getting into the tough social stuff at school. My energy was not only crushed by a virus, but by what I was learning about the world around me. It was hard for me to digest. And still is...

And so good digestion, high energy, clarity of mind and spirit- have been my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I chase them, and their attainment is the wealth I hope to accumulate. I get distracted of course. I have been quite distracted here on my Peace Corps adventure to be honest. The desire to be comfortable with the new places and faces around me, led me straight into some bad habits. And my body has rebelled. I am lucky that I am as sensitive as I am; that I have probably caught whatever damage is happening to my digestive tract early-on. But as someone who has studied nutrition and holistic living, it was startling to myself how far off track I could go! (Long story-short: cookies, chocolate, coffee and wine became a norm rather than a treat) Thank God for second chances! I woke up today realizing it is February 1st. This post, Technique #8, was supposed to be January's. And the one I posted in January was supposed to be December's...there is a pattern here! And this pattern is really messing with my peace of mind. But today is a whole new month, a whole new beginning. Every day we wake up, we have the choice to have a new beginning!

Peace. According to Merriam-Webster, peace is the freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility. We can apply this meaning to any number of areas: peace on earth, peace in the Middle East, peace within a family, peace between enemies. But the peace the I found myself so very interested in, was the peace the Swami Vishnu spoke of, peace of mind. Ah, that sounds PERFECT. That sounds like exactly what I want more than anything on earth. Lovers, cars, money, jobs, fashion, status? UMMMM....NO. I want PEACE OF MIND. Oh but wait, I want those other things a bit too...hmmm....(and here we go, watch how this works, dialog with self):

Oh my gosh, all I want is to feel at peace with all, especially with myself!
Really, I can just imagine, no disturbing thoughts, no negativity towards anyone....
Oh wait, didn't I just read that so-and-so is now designing clothes?
Hmmm...if I had just followed my dreams to work in fashion I would be using this pent-up creativity...I would be surrounded by beauty and color and making money and ......
Wait...Ah, that thought is hurting me! I feel it in my stomach like a weird nervous pain.
OK-wait, peace, I want peace.
But wait, if I had a dream job and money and a husband and 2.5 kids, a house on the beach, oh and one in the mountains...wouldn't I have lack for want and wouldn't I THEN be peaceful?
(Some deep-seated, soft, knowing voice): Nooooooooo
Oh right, I can choose to be peaceful now, can't I? Dope!

Does this sound familiar to anyone? What is crazy is that that exact conversation can occur in one's thoughts over the course of maybe 30 seconds. Can you imagine just how many thoughts are running through our minds daily? Disturbing us?

The Eighth Technique establishes Peace with all of relative creation, thereby further stabilizing harmlessness. It also has the effect of confirming the most important relationship of the individual with the Source of All that Is: the limited self surrenders to the Infinite.

Two main ideas jump out to me as I read this description from the document:
1. further stabilizing- a stable sense of Self, a stable state of mind. A lack of fluctuations of thoughts from one extreme to another, will indeed bring about peace. The less excited and reactive our thoughts, the more HAPPY we will feel.

2. the limited self surrenders- Surrender is a tricky thing. As opposed to simply "giving up", we accept that there are things in this world we cannot understand. We accept our placement, our position, our circumstances that cannot be changed and we live in grace.
-----
The truth is, we are living in a time when finding true peace of mind is very difficult. In the ancient yoga traditions, this is the time of the Kali Yuga, a time of darkness. And while we have so much intellect being sparked here on earth, as seen through the inventions and accelerated evolution of technology, the darkness refers to our ability to see into our selves, to understand our true nature, to want not. We are exposed to an increasing amount of information each day, and we have to first develop our discernment in order to know what to allow in, and what to block out. But that takes time, patience and a person who wants to cut through the clutter more than they want to win, to own, or to prove. I don't find it impossible for there to be peace on earth one day. But I do find that this will first require each and every individual on earth to first find peace within themselves. And this...this will take time. Just remember...every day is a second chance, every day we can choose to move towards PEACE.

Om shanti. Om tat sat.

Cum viaţă?

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Fractals of Life

2012-02-01 09:06:58

Cum viaţă? Ce mai faceţi? Cum vă simţiţi? In order, means How’s life? How are you? How do you feel? Moldovans aren’t big on small talk or pleasantries. As my program manager (a Moldovan) said, smiles are hard-earned. It’s bitter cold out right now (below 0 F midday) after being in the 30s through most [...]

Kristen Bell's Sloth Melt Down

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Kiddo says Hello.

2012-02-01 01:16:00

Feeling down, therefore Short Round showed me this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5jw3T3Jy70

It is so incredibly worth watching, I cried with joy that there are other freaks in the world, and that some of them look that good.

Especially ones that every man I have ever dated has a mad crush on. This video makes me not only laugh until my eye makeup runs and I literally hug my sides, but gives me hope that I might be somewhere in the ball park of Kristen Bell.

Or at least in the nosebleeds.

(And if anyone wants to tell me how to download videos like this and/or embed them directly, I'm eager to learn.)

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova MOLDOVAN MOMENTS

2012-01-31 16:58:00

I've been home for a few months now. Life is moving much faster it seems, and I find myself missing the quiet village life. The school where I taught has finished its construction on the new kitchen we fund raised for. The kitchen staff and students are now able to use the equipment our project budget bought and the students are eating full healthy meals everyday. I am so proud of my school and the progress it has made and look forward to the day when I can go back and visit to see all the progress my students will have made in their lives. Here are some pictures of the new kitchen sent to me by my friend and site mate Adam Troy:

Afara este frig!

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Adventures of a Pocket-Sized Travel Companion

2012-01-31 17:22:33

This past week it has gotten very cold in Moldova. We had a few days of snow, not anything to get excited about, at most it was 2 inches. But now it is just cold. The highs have not been … Continue reading →

Vienna

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Moldova: A Peace Corps Adventure

2012-01-31 16:09:17

We met up with our good friends R, K, and RD in Vienna a couple of days after Christmas. Unfortunately we didn’t catch the famous Christmas markets, but the city was still decorated for the season, which was nice. We didn’t have any snow in any of the cities we visited which was really great. [...]

Winter has arrived

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Pieces of Peace

2012-01-31 15:56:00

Well, after a very mild November, December and most of January, winter has finally arrived, and with it the snow, ice, and freezing temperatures we all love to hate. It was a bittersweet arrival. For the agricultural sector it was a welcomed freeze, giving the crops a chance to rest before the spring. For us mere mortals it is a time of year when we burrow under blankets in multiple layers of clothes, only emerging for the essentials, mainly more piping hot tea.

Last week all of us agribusiness and rural business volunteers had a conference in the big city, Chisinau. We were put up at a "fancy" new hotel that was kind enough to give us our usual "much less fancy" hotel rates. Yay, for new businesses! The conference was for both volunteers and our host-country national work partners. My partner, Vlad, and I worked together to develop a project that our community had expressed a need for. (More about the actual project later.) The constructive setting allowed for everyone to accomplish a significant amount of work over the two and a half day seminar. We discussed matters of sustainability, elements that make for successful projects, tips for writing good proposals, and other basic but essential knowledge when it comes to the world of grant writing.

The weekend that followed was typical for winter in Moldova (ie staying inside, at all costs). Taking advantage of being in the capital, a group of a few volunteers and myself got an apartment, enjoyed some Greek food, and listened to countless songs on Youtube before falling asleep, dead tired from a long week. The following day I visited a few other volunteers in a city to the north. We made Mexican food for dinner, and drank a local red wine while listening to hits from the year 1993. When I began my journey back to site, I quickly realized the ruteria (mini-bus) I had planned on taking home was in fact broken, and no other buses were running. Luckily, another volunteer lives close by and I was able to find a place to stay for the night. After a little bit of work getting back to his site, we were able to salvage the night by making some tasty American grub, and watching an Adam Sandler classic, Billy Madison, before calling it a night. Thank goodness for the soba (wood burning heater) on these cold nights!

I learned a fun saying 'E un ger de crapa pietrele' when translated it means: 'It is so cold that stones break'. ...this expression is quite fitting for the current sub-zero temperatures we have been experiencing.

Until next time, peace.

Drill Kiddo Drill

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Kiddo says Hello.

2012-01-31 15:00:00

Today's Assignment: To hang a closet rack.

Tools: power drill, level, pencil, pre-made (non Ikea) rack/shelf unit.

It should be noted here that Ikea is superior in almost all ways. This instruction manual comes in three languages. Ikea's comes in none. The graphic designers and engineers they

have at Ikea have no need for words---they are THAT good at showing which to tool to use when on which piece of wood or metal or wall or plastic or cloth... They are brilliant. They also design ALL of their pieces of furniture, each shelf, screw, leg, support board, are unique and distinct looking from all others. They are also all precisely measured so no hack sawing is required.

I am circumnavigating the need for a hacksaw today by adapting the design of the non-Ikea shelving unit. That's right, I'm a genius, it's ok to worship.

What is not so precise about this particular, generic, Best Buy of DIY stores, are the numbers of things they include. I have three too many fat screws, two too many thin screws and one too few stud covering plastic cap guy.

Luckily, I am an adult and will refrain from knocking my noggin on the edges of any white metal.

I feel like I'm commiting treason against my holy land, Ikea, land of marzipan and gravy, land of color and delight in efficiency, land of show, land of self explanation, exploration, mix and match heaven. Where a person can easily make a nest worth feathering.

Drunk the koolaid?

Um, that's lingon berry juice--B****.

192. Beyond Good Intentions

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Experiences in Moldova and beyond

2012-01-31 11:50:00

An American woman has traveledthe world with her backpack and her camera to try the story of internationalaid. She traveled to Asia, Africa and South America and created 10short episodes. The stories she made are about 10 different subjects,from micro-finance to researching what works in international aid.

If you are interested at all ininternational aid or would like to hear some stories about how people aretrying to help others all around the world, check out the website:

Beyond Good Intentions: BeyondGoodIntentions.com

She also did an episode aboutPeace Corps Volunteers in Madagascar: Episode6

Overall I think she did agood job on the episode about the Peace Corps, but she didnot address the goals of the Peace Corps. The Peace Corps'mission and goals are (PeaceCorps.gov):

Mission

In 1961,President John F. Kennedy established the Peace Corps to promote world peaceand friendship.

The Peace Corps'mission has three simple goals:

1. Helping the people of interested countries inmeeting their need for trained men and women.

2. Helping promote a better understanding ofAmericans on the part of the peoples served.

3. Helping promote a better understanding of otherpeoples on the part of Americans.

So as you can see, the PeaceCorps is not your typical international aid organization. Wefocus more on capacity building, education and relationships rather than aidprojects. I think the episode could have been better if she would havestarted out by establishing the Peace Corps goals and then proceeding into whatwe do.

Peace Corps also affects howother countries view America. If nothing else, the Peace Corps helpsother people understand America and American people better. I would saythat most Peace Corps volunteers are one of the first/few Americans that manyof the people we generally work with meet (maybe not so much in Moldova),especially because we are Americans living in villages and speaking the nativelanguage.

I'm looking for Ivan Ivanovich... Which one?

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Natalie as Natasha

2012-01-31 10:49:00

Russian people have three names: given, patriarchal, and family name. The patriarchal name, called "ochestva" in Russian, comes from your father's name. For example, if your father's name is Vasili, your patriarchal name would be Vasiliovich if you are a man, or Vasilovna if you are a woman.

From my experience, I've noticed that they only use their family names on official documents and when people ask them to differentiate Natalia Ivanovna from another Natalia Ivanovna or between Pavel Vasilovich and another Pavel Vasilovich.

In Russian there are two forms of "you," informal and formal. When people address someone in the formal "you" they use their patriarchal name. For example, all the students address their teachers by their first name and patriarchal name. "Svetlana Simornova, I have a question." "Natalia Vasilovna, can I use the toilet?"

I was startled when my old colleague Boris scolded me for being late one morning. He said, "Natalia Charlie-anova!" It made me quite uncomfortable to be scolded by someone using my father's name. However, people are accustomed to hearing their father's name as part of their own.

The funny part of this is that while there are plenty of names to choose from in the Russian language, I find most people choose from the same selection of names. Tatiana, Natasha, Svetlana, Nadejda, Elena, Ivan, Vasili, and Pavel are the most popular. This makes it difficult to differentiate between one Natasha from another so I've had to learn to ask for people's patriarchal names upon meeting someone new.

In January St. John's day is celebrated. John is "Ivan" in Russian. People here celebrate the saint's day whom they share their name. It's like a second birthday! Because Ivan is such a popular name, I found myself at a party of Ivans two weeks ago: Nadia Ivanovna, Vanya (Vanya is a nickname for Ivan) Aforonosovich, Ivan, another Ivan, Valentina Ivanovna, and then I toasted to my little brother: John-Paul!

I'll end with one of my favorite stories in figuring out names here:
I hired a bus driver from the college to take our village kids to a nearby village for our softball camp last summer. I got the number of the driver, Ivan Ivanovich. I got his phone number, but since I hate talking on the phone in Russian I was told I could find him behind the college.

I went behind the college building and found four men in a circle. I said, "Excuse me, I'm looking for Ivan Ivanovich." They all responded in unison, "Which one?"

Why MamaGaard Rocks 1

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Kiddo says Hello.

2012-01-30 19:36:00

My father doesn't like travel or vacations much meaning my mom, Colleen Ostergaard, who adores travel and adventure, sometimes takes vacations solo with excess children. She approaches these vacays with a balanced diet of planning and spontaneity; hotels are usually booked, cities are always met on schedule, days are free to who we meet and what we encounter. Getting lost, missing ferries, meeting pool sharks, she incorporates these things with poise and a competency that enriches every trip without losing all-important safety or plane ticket deadlines.

The greatest example I have of this, is the first time I was aware of it. I was seven and Mom and her friend Kimiko wanted to take me and my best friend Mika to a super sweet, mountain top spa resort thing outside of Taipei. We lived in

Taipei at the time, so this was to be a weekend trip. No worries.

We start. Lovely weather, road trip games, Mika and I have little idea as to where we are going, but don't care, because we're together, and we're seven. The moms do their chat thing in the front, we pay them no mind.

I like tunnels, we hold our breath going under them. A good car game. Instead, though, there are chinese police men in blue uniforms waving their arms and shouting. I can't hear or understand what they say, but Mom gets out to talk to them. She can. She's cool.

She comes back and talks seriously with Kimiko. Mika and I start being quiet, I ask if I can hold my breath through the tunnel. “Of course, honey,” says Mom. Mika and I hold our breath, but because of the serious talking between the moms we don't try to tickle each other while we turn blue. We enter the tunnel. When we come out the other side we pass under a honest-to-goodness waterfall like I have ALWAYS wanted to see. It was awesome. On the other side of the water fall are more peasant looking ladies, they are also waving their hands.

Mom rolls down her window. I see giant, giant rocks in the road before us. Giant. Some of the ladies are trying to push them into the valley, they disappear into the clouds. I want to throw one. Mom rolls up her window and I have no recollection of how the hell we turn around in a one-lane tunnel or one-lane cliff face switchback. The next thing I remember (does stress block memories? Mom tells me I was very quiet for this part) is Mom and Kimiko throwing more boulders into the clouds like the ladies did. We'd returned past the police men and going down hill now. She told me to stay in the car. I wanted to help, I wanted to throw a rock, but I stayed because Mom is always right about what to do and how to do it.

My mother stayed calm and pragmatic. One villager might spread rumors, one police man might exagerrate, but 5 villagers and 3 police man and several hundred big rocks are enough evidence to destroy a good holiday. She weighed options and made life-saving decisions. She used all her mental and physical skills in a synthesis of competency to get Mika, Kimiko and I home safely. This was when she stopped being just my mom, and started being, objectively, a hero.

Buck Versus the Vacuum

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Kiddo says Hello.

2012-01-30 18:33:00

Buck is over-motivated in protecting me from live vacuum cleaners. He finds joggers, golfers, and walkers to be threats to his national security also, but they are safely outside his glass portculis, and away over his grassy moats.

They are also pretty silent and have many obvious weak points to scratch and disembowel.

This guy though, is under the sway of a trusted pack mate, loud, completely metal and plastic.

He will, I'm sure this is not unique to this dog, chase it and bark at it from a distance of 4 inches but never get closer. Very barbarian in technique, but without any follow through. Have we, his human pack reined him in?

Whether this intimidation tactic is instinctive or learned, his new behavior is definitely learned. Thanks to 4 months of very consistent contact and lots of discipline sessions, Buck now hears the vacuum and starts to bark, looks over his shoulder at me, growls, and I say No, and he trots over and goes into pre sleep mode on my lap. It's amazing. I'm very proud.

But a little worried. Have I stripped my little warrior buddy---competent slayer of aliens---of his protect-and-scare-off nature?

SPA - Peace Corps' Small Project Assistance Fund

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Embarkations

2012-01-29 20:51:00

Many friends and family back home by this point have heard me talk about SPA, a USAID grant-making mechanism for Peace Corps Volunteers and one of my more time-consuming secondary activities. As with almost all PC programming, posts administer their SPA programs separately. I've been serving on Peace Corps Moldova's SPA review board since last winter, meaning once a month during the winter-spring funding cycle I get a stack of 8-16 grants to examine before travelling to the capital for a day of reviewing which will get funded. Our total annual budget is $140,000 with the maximum grant being $5,000. The money comes from US Agency for International Development, but can only be used to fund community-led projects that are conducted in collaboration with a volunteer.

Obviously, there's a lot of paperwork and minutia in reviewing grants, but it has nevertheless been one of my favorite secondary activities during my time here. It's given me a chance to see the incredible breadth of initiatives volunteers support, from community youth radio stations to agricultural projects. It's also proven true the maxim that the best way to truly learn something is to teach others - helping fellow volunteers through the grant process and continuously teaching the steps of project design and management has been great practice for explaining these steps to my own community partners.

As I spend more time around development organizations, however, I've also been gaining a deeper appreciation for the SPA program and the several ways in which it is unique. Simply put, there is no other development program like it out there. Because the overriding goal of the program is to teach project design and management skills, as compared to most grant-making programs which focus on particular priorities, with SPA there is no restriction on project domain. We've funded initiatives running the gamut from democratization and technology to health and business development.

We just held our first meeting this weekend, and as always, I was impressed by the creative, sustainable, low-cost and community-led solutions volunteers collaborated with community partners to design. I learned about rocket-mass heaters and the first school for the deaf and blind in Moldova, saw the most innovative reading promotion program that's probably ever been done in Moldova, and even got to see a high school student student give a very professional presentation to a committee of adults and foreigners.

The present entry here is meant for readers back home as a background companion post to this piece, which takes much of this information for granted. But it's also an insight onto how I spent upwards of 25 hours this past week. Seeing the great proposals we started the year off with yesterday, it was all worth it.

SPA – what is it, really?

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Embarkations

2012-01-29 20:59:00

Below is a description on Peace Corps Moldova's Small Project Assistance (SPA) fund, which our review board put together early this fall to clarify the purpose of the program for the new group of volunteers. The background to this post can be found here. We've recently undergone a pretty thorough review of our SPA program, refocusing on the overriding goals and tweaking some of our policies to match that. If there are any readers out there who work on their country's SPA program - or a similar program for that matter - I'm curious to hear thoughts on this.

SPA – what is it, really?
SPA exists through a special inter-agency agreement with USAID (plain English: it’s their money, we just get to spend/administer it). As such, the program is unique in that its goal furthers both USAID and Peace Corps’ missions (plain English: we can’t do whatever we want with the $). SPA has one overriding program imperative: "to increase the capabilities of local communities to conduct low-cost, grassroots sustainable development." This objective is significantly different from a goal of simply “conducting sustainable development.” It also informs the only success indicator against which we report: # of HCNs who demonstrate new capacity to guide a project through the complete PDM cycle as a result of collaborating in a SPA project.

The reason that USAID funds PC projects through the SPA program as a part of the Participating Agency Program Agreement (2009) is to teach HCNs all stages of the PDM cycle, including proposal writing, as a form of community capacity building. The focus of the program is not to fund volunteers' community projects or to teach volunteers about project design and management (though it has these positive effects).

USAID considers giving this money to Peace Corps an efficient use of funds because we have long-term, deep relationships with partners whom we can guide through the PDM cycle step by step. It's not so much that we know any better what communities' needs are, but that the process of working very closely and intensively with a project from start to finish is one of the best ways to teach these skills. In short, the project itself is of significantly less importance to USAID than the skills partners develop that can be applied in future community project work. We might not always agree with this sentiment when considering a potential project. With any other program goal, however, USAID would feel better qualified to implement the project itself. As a rule of thumb, the best projects come from the space where donor and implementer goals overlap, but this also requires the honesty to be able to walk away from projects sometimes. SPA is no exception, though we are fortunate in having a very broad donor goal.

On a deeper level, this program design speaks to Peace Corps’ broader philosophy of sustainability. We are not here simply to do, but instead to teach through collaboration with others. In the classroom, we don’t just teach students, but teachers as well. With mayors, we help to teach technology, not simply type documents. The idea of sustainability is no different with any other community project, even when it includes outside funding.

Sometimes this fact is mind-numbingly frustrating – it’s a much higher bar, so high that few organizations engage in the process on the level we do. This level of support is inconceivable for USAID (or any big development organization). But this is also the brilliance of the program: it plays to Peace Corps’ unique strengths in the development field as well as each of our unique relationships that are built on mutual trust and collaboration. Thus, this same difficulty is also the unique value of SPA – in all the grant making development programs our committee members have examined, there is nothing else like SPA out there. And it’s also one of the reasons we have so much respect for all of you.

What is Capacity Building, and what is Capacity Building Through Education
Business English.com defines "capacity building" as "planned development of (or increase in) knowledge, output rate, management, skills, and other capabilities of an organization through acquisition, incentives, technology, and/or training." In easier terms, capacity building means increasing the organization's ability to do what it does, to fulfill its mission and its goals. For the SPA program, projects must include two forms of capacity building: 1) the aforementioned increase in project design and management skills, and 2) a capacity building element through education (classes or trainings).

Here's example of how this might look: If your project sets out to bring running water to the school in order to improve students' health and to decrease the number of absences, the project may also do something like conduct health classes on the threats of infectious diseases -- or maybe conduct a hand washing campaign to decrease illness and a civic engagement campaign about taking care of "our" school so students will keep the indoor bathrooms clean. These training are matched with the goals of the project. For the trainings to increase the capacity of the school, they should not only be conducted by the PCV, but they should be conducted with a one or more HCN who will be able to conduct such classes themselves later on. In this way, the project uses education to increase the capacity of the organization, and in so doing, increases the sustainability of the intervention as well as the likelihood of meeting project objectives.

Orthodox Christmas and the sauna

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Adventures of a Pocket-Sized Travel Companion

2012-01-29 14:47:19

In December after I got back from my trip to Belgium I stayed the night with my host family from training. They invited me back for my host moms birthday on January 6, which is the day before the Russian … Continue reading →

Preparation = Russian, Russian, Russian!

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Natalie as Natasha

2012-01-27 20:35:00

Vasya and I are presenting our grant to the Peace Corps/USAID grant committee tomorrow. This is for the reconstruction of the school's bathrooms. Currently the kids use the toilets outside that are located 100 meters from the school. Ultimately, the new toilets inside are part of an overall health and hygiene improvement campaign. We have been preparing for our presentation for the last couple of weeks. Although the board mostly consists of English and Romanian speakers, we decided that Vasya will speak about why our project is good and deserves funding. I will simply translate. I'm very proud of him for his leadership and taking ownership of this project. Wish us luck!

Naivte and Movies that are Probably Good

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Kiddo says Hello.

2012-01-27 14:07:00

The Oscars. The Academy Awards.

I don't know the etymology of "Oscars," I like to think it is the name of the guy who modeled for that statue. I do know where Academy Awards comes from. It's simply descriptive. Literally, The Academy chooses who gets the Award.

Who the s*** is the Academy? Get this propaganda:

They are the more than 6,000 artists and professionals who bring the magic of the movies to life. They are the men and women who transport audiences to galaxies far away and to worlds long ago and who create the previously unimagined for the big screen. They are the entertainment industry's preeminent filmmakers. They are Academy members.

Could you be any more into yourselves? I hate that I admire these people. They are so smarmy that this year Hugo and The Artist, amazing amalgams of Hollywood masturbation, are the big names for the series of awards. 11 for Hugo, Martin Scorcese's attempt to be warm, paternal, and heroic for his educational prowess. 10 for The Artist, a super fun looking silent film revival attempt that no one but over-educated film nerds like me are going to attempt watching or ever possibly enjoy.

It's enough to make me start doubting the objective integrity of the academy.

ha.

Like it possibly existed before.

Kiddo = naive.

Tumblr

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Kiddo says Hello.

2012-01-27 14:34:00

I have three friends using the blogging competition: Tumblr. It is a little intimidating for me and my pretty little space here. They are both serious and prolific--things I will never be.

Differences: layout. subject. content. commenting. exclusiveness.

I love google. I am a minion and devotee to the gods of free stuff and laid back environments in which to enjoy them. Google offered me this free place to design and yak to my little heart's content, and I took it.

Tumblr has some very cutting edge looking pages with big, black fonts. The users speak in bullet points and just show things they like, and drop grains of thought out after them, or refer to what other people have said about whatever it is. It's very much like a live serial of Vanity Fair or The New Yorker. It, actually, is like a cyber New York. As seen by this suburban hick, anyway.

I, therefore, am fascinated. I want to be more like it. I want to be serious and prolific! I want people to say things to me and to respond to them. I want pretty pictures on my blog.

So, Kiddo will heretofore think less, react more, and find prettier pictures.

For example, when running an image search for "Tumblr" you are as likely to get that logo up there as you are to get this awesomeness for sexy Spanish hipsters:

Taking pictures

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova A Kansas City gal in Moldova

2012-01-27 13:12:00

Who do I really take pictures for?

When that thought crossed my mind, it was because I was taking photos of things that are not "print worthy". I mean, why was I taking photographs if I didn't hope to see them hanging on a wall someday? Of course I take photos of things because I want people to hang them on their wall to enjoy. However, I also take them for my students. And my family. And my friends. I take photos of things for other people- usually not myself. I take photos because I want to share what I see with people who may never get the chance to see it. It's kind of like the idea of my photojournalism project... I want to photograph schools so kids can see what schools are like in other countries because they'll probably never get the chance to see them (because, who really goes to see schools when they're traveling? If you can think of someone, please do tell me because I'd like to talk to them!). I take pictures of food and people and details for other people. I have been there. I know what the people, the food, doors, sidewalks, etc look like... so why do I photograph them? For others- that's the answer.

This is something I had been wanting to write about but of course I never got around to it (like the post on France. Hey, the photos are done and most of them are on facebook. Check them out if you want). Today I came across this article and it made me glad I haven't written it yet. And here's why. The photographer whom this article is about talks about his "rebirth" in Venice, California. He is one of those lucky and incredibly talented people who got a start at a young age and has had much success in his life with photography. With an overloaded schedule of commercial shoots, he felt like something was missing. Then he thought of a quote by Helmut Newton:

You should be able to walk out your door and find a picture within two or three miles.

Mr. Alston jokingly added, "Of course, he always picked these great places like Monte Carlo, so he could say that.”

Well, I chose Moldova. It is definitely not Monte Carlo or Venice... and I can definitely gind a good picture within two or three miles. But this is beside the point of what I'm wanting to say. Later down in the article he says:

If you can find joy in walking down the street, and you see a leaf, it makes you happy and you photograph it, that’s a beautiful thing.

Mr. Alston is right. Sure, I take photographs of things I wouldn't normally photograph for my personal use because I have other people in mind. In fact, I would venture to guess that 90% of the images I make are for that reason. Photography, though, makes me happy. Using Alston's example, I can take a picture of a leaf when walking down the street. I may never, ever show anyone else that photo or I may never even look at it again. However, for that split second, hearing the "click" of my shutter close made me happy. And that, my friends, is why I take pictures. It makes me happy.

Turn around

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova A Kansas City gal in Moldova

2012-01-27 05:49:00

Yesterday was one of the worst days I've had at school. Thankfully I had plans to help celebrate the birthday of (now) 12 year-old Iustina (on the right). I could not have asked for a better way to turn a terrible day wonderful.

Once I left school I went straight to Maria's house. Shortly after I arrived, the Priest (Iustina's father) showed up and invited Maria to their house to celebrate the birthday. Once she finished up her tutoring lessons, we walked through the cemetery in the snow together. The Priest and his wife have 4 children but there is always a plethora of kids visiting and even guest animals.

This is their youngest son, Sergiu. In their backyard they have a pen full of pigeons, doves, and birds that I have no idea what kind they are. Left: Maria, Iustina, and me.

After lunch/dinner we went across the street to visit the church. They still had the decorations from Christmas up and they wanted to show me. Behind the Priest is a wall. When I was in Razeni, we had a tour of the church there and I remember them telling us that females are not allowed behind the wall (but they did let us stand at the doorway and peek in) and I didn't understand why. When I asked my Priest this question, at first he just said, "I don't know. That's just how it is" because he did not want to offend me; a foreigner with possibly different beliefs. But then his conscience got the best of him and he had Maria translate for me (although I understood what he was saying). Apparently this "sin" dates back to the 600's. Before then, women were allowed behind this wall and at baptisms. But after this time, they were forbidden. This is because at this time there were a lot of poor people who could not afford undergarments. Women would wear long skirts and dresses, but there would not be anything underneath them, so when they were having their monthly cycle (or if they had just given birth), they were considered "unclean" and "dirty", so it was preferred if they just stayed home and definitely out of the church as to not make a mess. Then, once they were allowed back into the church, they wanted a place just for the men, which is why now, only men are allowed behind this wall. To this day in Moldova (and possibly other places), women are not allowed in a church or at religious ceremonies if they are on their period, even though there are now products to keep it clean.

Maria has a white cat at home, and this is the son of her cat. If you didn't know, it would be very easy to think this is the same cat by not only the physical appearance but the mannerisms, too, and the way in which it responds to Maria.

Laughter

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova A Kansas City gal in Moldova

2012-01-26 18:59:00

I'm not going to say much about these photos because I do believe they speak for themselves.

Just shortly after they were taken, though, shit hit the fan. Then the fan flung the shit everywhere causing a big mess. I have never before physically felt my blood pressure rise, or physically felt it be that high and I hope I never do again. There are some children in this world that do not know how to behave, have no discipline, and have no respect. Until now I never understood why some kids were sent to military schools in the middle of the night without warning. Now I get it. Whether it's the fault of the parent or just how the kid is... some kids need discipline in a military fashion in order to shape the hell up.

I took the advice of my aunt and started sending the kids outside with work to do, and if they didn't do it, I'd give them a low mark. Well, the work and the low marks are still not enough to encourage them to behave. Now it's a game and they even prefer to go outside. So glad they enjoy my lessons (sarcasm). I have come to the realization that children need discipline not just from school but from home, too. Without one or the other, they won't behave. It's been a year and a half here and I'm out of ideas and almost out of patience.

This is why I am here

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00

Moldova Bushwhacking to Get By

2012-01-26 18:42:23

It took me 7 long months, 4 painful moments, and one phone call to finally figure out the reason I …